(no subject)
Oh God, I haven't watched Gia for a long time. I think it's slightly masochistic for me to watch this film - it cuts so deep.
Honey, go get your violin:
I used the fancy weighing scales at the gym today. Found out that I'm actually 5lbs heavier than my scales at home are! Godddammit. Oh well, I guess I haven't actually changed any. Too much of my body weight is water (it's supposed to be 50%) but my fat% is fine, apparently. I don't know what it's supposed to be.
Ok, I've been feeling awful recently. Depressed, sad. Thursday I went to the Kylie Showgirl concert. I like her music, no major fan or anything, but it's good pop fun. The show was amazing! It would be good even if you didn't like her. The costumes and the stage! Anyway, I didn't get home till about 12.45, and then it set in. I was awake until around 5.30 and only slept till 7. I swear, I just wanted to.. to not be here. I wanted to vanish. And since then I've been feeling pretty worthless. Fat, ugly, useless, a horrible person. I don't know what's going on. I didn't want to write about it here, I wanted to keep it in, I still don't want to. But, yeah, I suppose I should.
So in a vain attempt to gather some self worth I'm going to the gym, have bought some vitamins including Cod Liver Oil (fishy repeatings started already). I know it's not what's wrong, but hey. At least I may look better.
*sigh* that was my attempt to vent, and it was so unaccurate to what's really going on.
Honey, go get your violin:
I used the fancy weighing scales at the gym today. Found out that I'm actually 5lbs heavier than my scales at home are! Godddammit. Oh well, I guess I haven't actually changed any. Too much of my body weight is water (it's supposed to be 50%) but my fat% is fine, apparently. I don't know what it's supposed to be.
Ok, I've been feeling awful recently. Depressed, sad. Thursday I went to the Kylie Showgirl concert. I like her music, no major fan or anything, but it's good pop fun. The show was amazing! It would be good even if you didn't like her. The costumes and the stage! Anyway, I didn't get home till about 12.45, and then it set in. I was awake until around 5.30 and only slept till 7. I swear, I just wanted to.. to not be here. I wanted to vanish. And since then I've been feeling pretty worthless. Fat, ugly, useless, a horrible person. I don't know what's going on. I didn't want to write about it here, I wanted to keep it in, I still don't want to. But, yeah, I suppose I should.
So in a vain attempt to gather some self worth I'm going to the gym, have bought some vitamins including Cod Liver Oil (fishy repeatings started already). I know it's not what's wrong, but hey. At least I may look better.
*sigh* that was my attempt to vent, and it was so unaccurate to what's really going on.