It wasn’t like I didn’t want to see the girl anymore, it was that I couldn’t. Went though hell and back again for her, did all I could to get the bloody soul and she still turned me down. Still I wasn’t going to up and leave her side, I stayed there and waited for her to hopefully change her mind or well make it up for that matter. Never did know what she wanted, guess that’s how it would always be with her. But then at the end something was different, she told me she loved me. Could go and believe that but how could I? I knew she was just saying that to give me one last thrill before I went out which I appreciate her for doing that
( ... )
I almost missed the sound of the twig snapping behind me. So intent on kicking that stone over the rough ground of the park, hands shoved in my pockets and my mind in places that it hadn't been for weeks, months even, it was my first and last mistake.
I spun round intending on giving my not-so-better-half a piece of mind for following me and was met with nothing but air. My nose wrinkled as I caught a smell of something-- Familiar. Something I hadn't caught scent of in a year now. Longer. Four hundred and fifty four days.I breathed it in for a moment, closed my eyes, and then turned back to my original path, beating myself up over the fact that I was still beating myself up over things that I couldn't change and
( ... )
She didn't hear me not at first. I was lucky, and hopefully this time she wouldn't hear me either. Just take it nice and easy.
I continued to stand behind the tree waiting for her to walk on a bit more before I came out again. Just when I thought all was well and safe she stopped and I heard that familiar voice of hers once more.
"Okay, come on out. I'm tired, I'm cranky and I'm not playing games tonight."Reminded me a bit of the old days, well lot of the old days. Before I went and got that chip shoved up my head and before the soul. I would follow and watch her trying to take note of her actions. I was obsessed with her even then. Course she'd always have that look on her face when she knew someone was following her and that tone in her voice. I knew her better then any one did. I knew who and what she truly was
( ... )
While the thing behind the tree debated on whether or not to come out? Slayer Buffy had already put in an appearance. Primed to fight and literally ready for some action, my stake was already in my hand, senses honed in case this was some ambush and Buffy was top of the menu.
My irritation grew tenfold when the thing didn't come out right away. Did it not hear the cranky part? Resigned to my fate, yet still not very happy, I stalked forward intending on yanking the thing out of there-- And I came up short.
I came up short because I'd seen this, I'd done this in various forms over the last four hundred and fifty four days. He'd show up one day, just step out like he had done with not a care in the world and tell me he knew, that he'd always known, that I didn't have to say it down there in that cave.
"Well then, didn't expect to see you here slayer."The knot of grief from earlier was back again. Cocky grin, same smug attitude and he was striding towards me. Had I seen this one? Was this the one that ended in my apartment or
( ... )
She looked at me. Like I wasn’t really here like this couldn’t be real. I get that, that this seemed to out there to be actually happening. Then again look at the world we live in. Seems like anything can happen at any point.
She didn’t say anything for awhile. Just continued with the looking at me bit. Not that I didn’t mind her looking at me but the way she was doing it. She seemed a bit lost there for awhile to. Was I doing or saying something wrong.
The whole time I continued keeping my eyes on her, taking in everything that she was. And then she closed her eyes and opened them up again. Couldn’t help but wonder a bit at what she was doing. Seemed she was a bit surprised to have seen me still standing there when she opened up her eyes. Like I was going to run away or something, wouldn’t do that. Would never leave her, never again.
"You're real,"
I heard her whisper as she started to step towards me. And then she grabbed hold of my arm like she was examining it. I felt something in my body as I felt her touch upon me.
Part of me kept waiting for something to happen, for the Immortal to show up and ruin the moment, or for some vampire to come fleeing out of the bushes and attack us-- Or, more predictably, for me to wake up.
Even now, after he'd assured me that he was very real and I'd felt the entire realness of Spike, I still thought it. Still believed it would happen.
Until he smiled.
That smile told me everything. It was small, barely there really, but I knew. I knew that I'd said what I had and, as much as I might blame it later on the shock, I knew I'd meant it.
“Your saying it very well. Better then I could’ve hoped for.”Then he believed me? There was no more 'no you don't, but thanks for saying it'? I got my answer when Spike moved across the park and drew me into his arms, his lips finally meeting mine
( ... )
It all seemed to good to be true. Like some sort of dream I've had at night. Seems that it seemed like a dream to her to...like an actual dream that she had been having. To think the slayer has been having dream bout me. Not something I would've for seen. Unless of course that was dreams of killing me. Yet here we were..the two of us living out this moment. This moment that still seemed so surreal
( ... )
In the end, I didn't need the Immortal to come along and ruin the moment. I didn't need some random vamp or demon to come fleeing out the bushes. All I needed was Spike, apparently. My willingness to ask questions when I should have just kept my mouth shut.
He told me he'd been back about a year and I took a step back from him, my hands dropping to my sides. A lot of stuff had happened... He'd got back and they'd all been sitting around having a good guess about it-- But he hadn't even bothered to, like, pick up the phone? Drop into my life like he had done tonight?
"You've been back a year?" I asked, blinking. Okay, now *that* feeling I was used to. That sinking, disappointed and kinda sick feeling where you found out that no Buffy, you really haven't stopped the hellGod. No Buffy, your Mom really isn't alive and well and cooking you all Thanksgiving dinner. No Buffy, your Dad isn't coming to pick you up this week, little Ms. Secretary is throwing another hissy fit
( ... )
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I spun round intending on giving my not-so-better-half a piece of mind for following me and was met with nothing but air. My nose wrinkled as I caught a smell of something-- Familiar. Something I hadn't caught scent of in a year now. Longer. Four hundred and fifty four days.I breathed it in for a moment, closed my eyes, and then turned back to my original path, beating myself up over the fact that I was still beating myself up over things that I couldn't change and ( ... )
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I continued to stand behind the tree waiting for her to walk on a bit more before I came out again. Just when I thought all was well and safe she stopped and I heard that familiar voice of hers once more.
"Okay, come on out. I'm tired, I'm cranky and I'm not playing games tonight."Reminded me a bit of the old days, well lot of the old days. Before I went and got that chip shoved up my head and before the soul. I would follow and watch her trying to take note of her actions. I was obsessed with her even then. Course she'd always have that look on her face when she knew someone was following her and that tone in her voice. I knew her better then any one did. I knew who and what she truly was ( ... )
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My irritation grew tenfold when the thing didn't come out right away. Did it not hear the cranky part? Resigned to my fate, yet still not very happy, I stalked forward intending on yanking the thing out of there-- And I came up short.
I came up short because I'd seen this, I'd done this in various forms over the last four hundred and fifty four days. He'd show up one day, just step out like he had done with not a care in the world and tell me he knew, that he'd always known, that I didn't have to say it down there in that cave.
"Well then, didn't expect to see you here slayer."The knot of grief from earlier was back again. Cocky grin, same smug attitude and he was striding towards me. Had I seen this one? Was this the one that ended in my apartment or ( ... )
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She didn’t say anything for awhile. Just continued with the looking at me bit. Not that I didn’t mind her looking at me but the way she was doing it. She seemed a bit lost there for awhile to. Was I doing or saying something wrong.
The whole time I continued keeping my eyes on her, taking in everything that she was. And then she closed her eyes and opened them up again. Couldn’t help but wonder a bit at what she was doing. Seemed she was a bit surprised to have seen me still standing there when she opened up her eyes. Like I was going to run away or something, wouldn’t do that. Would never leave her, never again.
"You're real,"
I heard her whisper as she started to step towards me. And then she grabbed hold of my arm like she was examining it. I felt something in my body as I felt her touch upon me.
"You' ( ... )
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Even now, after he'd assured me that he was very real and I'd felt the entire realness of Spike, I still thought it. Still believed it would happen.
Until he smiled.
That smile told me everything. It was small, barely there really, but I knew. I knew that I'd said what I had and, as much as I might blame it later on the shock, I knew I'd meant it.
“Your saying it very well. Better then I could’ve hoped for.”Then he believed me? There was no more 'no you don't, but thanks for saying it'? I got my answer when Spike moved across the park and drew me into his arms, his lips finally meeting mine ( ... )
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He told me he'd been back about a year and I took a step back from him, my hands dropping to my sides. A lot of stuff had happened... He'd got back and they'd all been sitting around having a good guess about it-- But he hadn't even bothered to, like, pick up the phone? Drop into my life like he had done tonight?
"You've been back a year?" I asked, blinking. Okay, now *that* feeling I was used to. That sinking, disappointed and kinda sick feeling where you found out that no Buffy, you really haven't stopped the hellGod. No Buffy, your Mom really isn't alive and well and cooking you all Thanksgiving dinner. No Buffy, your Dad isn't coming to pick you up this week, little Ms. Secretary is throwing another hissy fit ( ... )
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