Time (for Kennedy)

[_wishingwillow_]

It was that time. The time where the silence is they heavy and pushed together sort. Compressed. Waiting for the bell to ring. Willow would swear it had its own taste. Something close to the first cotton candy at the fair, but not quite. The last funnel cake of the evening was too heavy, too rich. That was reserved for the last-day-of-school-taste

Comments

[skatepunkbrat]

We'd slept in this morning, way later than usual. But there is the fact of the time difference, jet lag, and other things I won't mention that could've caused it. I woke up before Willow, slipping out of the bed and dressing quickly. Quietly, I exited our room, my mind already churning with the plan I'd come up with on the flight

[_wishingwillow_]

I'd woken up without Kennedy in my arms. Maybe it was the peace of the place we were in. Maybe it was the sheer determination of the idea that nothing would be wrong while we were here. Maybe it was the feeling that all was well, a flash of intuition not to be argued with. Or maybe? It was the strategiacally placed pillow near me, that suggested Kennedy had placed a thoughtful placeholder for herself in case I woke up before she was back. For my list of maybes, there was no worry.

Just a bed that was a good bit colder, for all that it was worry free. It was enough for me to wake up, and after carefully making the bed, and returning all the pillows to thier home, I stepped out onto the balcony.

This was right, us being here. The consuming need for me to right anything that could be viewed as a wrong, a result of my spell, had taken me away from friends, and family, in ways I had never intended, or imagined. And then -- there was Kennedy. I had started my travels with us at our closest. Not -- the closest we would ever be -- just our

[skatepunkbrat]

My eyes never left her as she turned around, giving me one of those looks. The ones I can never describe, but always love to see. I guess I can't get enough of them if you wanna know the truth. It's like when she looks at me, she can see right into my heart. Maybe even my soul. Okay, so it makes me all sappy and emo, I can't help it

[_wishingwillow_]

I exhaled a quiet breath as we did the not-settle into each others arms that we'd perfected pretty quickly. She didn't have to twist to the right. I didn't have to duck my head. Or lift an arms. We simply fell into the place where everything fit best. It was there. Even after all the time apart, it was still there. I felt myself smile against her cheek.

My smile grew right out of her too-quick kiss, as I brushed some of her hair back. Even set back the way our hotel was, a steady breeze always kicked up from the force of the falls, rainstorm or no.

Drops of rain skittered their was across both our features.

"That may be our hint to go inside?"

[skatepunkbrat]

Taking her hand that she held out to me, I laced our fingers together but never took my eyes from hers as she spoke. Sighing, I gave her a sad, thoughtful look. “And neither do I Wil.” I admitted with a shrug

[_wishingwillow_]

"I do know, you know," I admitted softly, my voice almost swallowed up by the sounds of the falls, not so far behind us. "Not -- not about you, and the, I mean."

I sighed, and tried again.

"I know what I am doing," I tried again, pronouncing each world, if not softly, then at least well. They had been clear enough in my head, for a long while. "I know that I am so determined to find these girls, to explain, to give them back what I feel like I have taken away. There are so much -- than before? And I still feel like I stole something from them. " Because of Buffy. "And me, so focused to give them their life back." I glanced down at our hands, at the connection there. "At the cost of my own

[skatepunkbrat]

I listened quietly as she spoke, my eyes never leaving her as she spoke, explaining her side of everything. Things I knew I should understand, but sometimes too selfishly I just didn't. Mostly because I wanted my girlfriend all to myself. I always did have issues with sharing and though I'd gotten used to and even accepted this whole thing, sometimes I just got sick of it. I was a brat about it and wanted her to be with me, not out finding other slayers. And apparently now was one of those times.

"You shouldn't punish yourself. WIllow, you didn't take anything away from these girls. From me. You gave us something. Something that until now someone had to die for. Something that one girl had to bear alone. Now though? There's so many of us. It's not all on Buffy anymore." I smiled, nodding. "Does that make sense

[_wishingwillow_]

I latched onto her hand like a lifeline, threads of white pressure on my own fingers. I knew she could handle it. I had made it so she could. What mattered more was that I knew she wanted to handle it, that as much as Kennedy knew of me. She still wanted to be there.

"I know that," I admitted. "I hear everything you are saying. Because," there was a flash of a smile. "You are saying it very well. But most days I just -- I can't seem to feel that way. I don't know why."

I also did not know why I held my breath for the next part.

"Would you be willing to travel with me in the summers?"