Update on Current Status
I have nothing of note to report.
//The remainder of this post is locked.//
It is almost time to put Angel's plan into motion. It will commence all too soon. And yet, I find that I am anxious for it. This will be no mere skirmish, and I do not expect that we will all emerge from this unscathed. Our chances for success are slim at best, but this opportunity must not be missed.
I look at my comrades and wonder what they might be thinking at this penultimate moment. Angel, our leader, who orchestrated this scheme and whose focus is absolute at this moment. I would not be the man I am today were it not for him. Gunn, once almost a brother to me - although, due to betrayals on both sides, we have lost the bond we once had. Spike, new to our circle, a legendary vampire who sought out his soul and who now fights at the side of his grandsire for the forces of good. And Lorne, a demon who fell into our midst due to the repetitive destruction of his home and livelihood - caused by us, directly or indirectly - and has remained for reasons I've never truly known but for which I have been repeatedly grateful these past few years.
I have had time to reflect since Angel presented his strategy to us, and there are more reasons than those that immediately sprang to mind regarding why I so readily agreed to it. It is more than doing what is right. It is more than the act of striking a blow against the powers of darkness. It is more than putting the proverbial wrench into the apocalyptic works. We also do this because of individuals we have known along the way.
It is because of a man I never met. I fight because of Allen Francis Doyle. In many ways, when I began my work with Angel Investigations, I felt as if I needed to fill his shoes; however, I do not believe, from what I know of the man, that such a thing could ever have been possible. He chose to give his life for others. He was a true hero, and I honor his memory.
It is because of Lilah Morgan. We fought on opposite sides of this battle, but in time, we found common aspects between us. We understood each other. I must admit that she understood me better than anyone has in my entire life. I would have saved her if such a thing were possible. I tried. Perhaps, should we be exceptionally successful today, her continued existence in the nether regions might be filled with slightly less torment, if only for a little while.
It is because of Cordelia Chase. She was the strongest among us. I once thought her to be the unlikeliest of champions, and yet she surpassed us all. She did not choose to bear the burden of the visions, but she did choose to keep them of her own accord. More evil befell her than any individual should be able to withstand, and yet she still did return to us for one brief shining moment. She used her last ounce of will to set Angel on the track we now follow, and for that, our debt to her only grows larger than it already was. I trust that she is in a better place, as The Powers That Be have surely used her enough.
It is because of Winifred Burkle. My Fred. Ripped from us long before her time. She was a radiant woman of exceptional intelligence, but that was eclipsed by the power of her tremendous heart. Her absence is still almost too painful to bear, especially coupled with being confronted by her distorted visage as Illyria on a daily basis. When Illyria recently altered her form to appear in the form of the woman that body once was, the anguish erupted anew. I do know without a shadow of a doubt that Fred would want us to continue this fight. Whatever I do for the remainder of my life, I accomplish it in her memory. Angel made Fred's death "mean something" as he formulated his plan against the Senior Partners, and I do not fault him for it. I do not believe Fred would have either.
It's strange... If I would have been told six years ago that my life would travel the path that it has, I would not have believed it. At the time, I thought I knew full well what lay in store: the life of a Watcher, earning the respect of my peers as I continued the age-old traditions within which I had been raised. However, in my tenure as a member of the Watcher's Council, I was a dismal failure. My years here in Los Angeles have been nothing if not tumultuous, but I have learned what I am capable of, for good or ill. I try to believe that the net effect has been positive. I do attempt to hope, despite everything that has transpired, that I have made an impact in the ongoing battle between Good and Evil.
May we do so again today. All of us.
//The remainder of this post is locked.//
It is almost time to put Angel's plan into motion. It will commence all too soon. And yet, I find that I am anxious for it. This will be no mere skirmish, and I do not expect that we will all emerge from this unscathed. Our chances for success are slim at best, but this opportunity must not be missed.
I look at my comrades and wonder what they might be thinking at this penultimate moment. Angel, our leader, who orchestrated this scheme and whose focus is absolute at this moment. I would not be the man I am today were it not for him. Gunn, once almost a brother to me - although, due to betrayals on both sides, we have lost the bond we once had. Spike, new to our circle, a legendary vampire who sought out his soul and who now fights at the side of his grandsire for the forces of good. And Lorne, a demon who fell into our midst due to the repetitive destruction of his home and livelihood - caused by us, directly or indirectly - and has remained for reasons I've never truly known but for which I have been repeatedly grateful these past few years.
I have had time to reflect since Angel presented his strategy to us, and there are more reasons than those that immediately sprang to mind regarding why I so readily agreed to it. It is more than doing what is right. It is more than the act of striking a blow against the powers of darkness. It is more than putting the proverbial wrench into the apocalyptic works. We also do this because of individuals we have known along the way.
It is because of a man I never met. I fight because of Allen Francis Doyle. In many ways, when I began my work with Angel Investigations, I felt as if I needed to fill his shoes; however, I do not believe, from what I know of the man, that such a thing could ever have been possible. He chose to give his life for others. He was a true hero, and I honor his memory.
It is because of Lilah Morgan. We fought on opposite sides of this battle, but in time, we found common aspects between us. We understood each other. I must admit that she understood me better than anyone has in my entire life. I would have saved her if such a thing were possible. I tried. Perhaps, should we be exceptionally successful today, her continued existence in the nether regions might be filled with slightly less torment, if only for a little while.
It is because of Cordelia Chase. She was the strongest among us. I once thought her to be the unlikeliest of champions, and yet she surpassed us all. She did not choose to bear the burden of the visions, but she did choose to keep them of her own accord. More evil befell her than any individual should be able to withstand, and yet she still did return to us for one brief shining moment. She used her last ounce of will to set Angel on the track we now follow, and for that, our debt to her only grows larger than it already was. I trust that she is in a better place, as The Powers That Be have surely used her enough.
It is because of Winifred Burkle. My Fred. Ripped from us long before her time. She was a radiant woman of exceptional intelligence, but that was eclipsed by the power of her tremendous heart. Her absence is still almost too painful to bear, especially coupled with being confronted by her distorted visage as Illyria on a daily basis. When Illyria recently altered her form to appear in the form of the woman that body once was, the anguish erupted anew. I do know without a shadow of a doubt that Fred would want us to continue this fight. Whatever I do for the remainder of my life, I accomplish it in her memory. Angel made Fred's death "mean something" as he formulated his plan against the Senior Partners, and I do not fault him for it. I do not believe Fred would have either.
It's strange... If I would have been told six years ago that my life would travel the path that it has, I would not have believed it. At the time, I thought I knew full well what lay in store: the life of a Watcher, earning the respect of my peers as I continued the age-old traditions within which I had been raised. However, in my tenure as a member of the Watcher's Council, I was a dismal failure. My years here in Los Angeles have been nothing if not tumultuous, but I have learned what I am capable of, for good or ill. I try to believe that the net effect has been positive. I do attempt to hope, despite everything that has transpired, that I have made an impact in the ongoing battle between Good and Evil.
May we do so again today. All of us.