[14 Feb 2006|08:38pm ( Read more... )

I was 113.5 before my period.  now i'm too scared to look at the scale. I will when this dreadful period is over.  I have yet to binge but I bloat real real bad. And horrible cramps. sigh. this needs to be over SOOn.

i had a journal like this once upon a time.  but i got rid of it, in hopes of ridding myself of my disease. no such luck.  so here i am, embracing it full on.  its back.  the cutting, starving, throwing up, the self loathing, the ugly feeling.  i want to be skinny again... and so this is to keep tabs on myself.  i'm a swimmer/lifeguard, so ( Read more... )