(no subject)
so get this shit:
i'll give a quick situation report:
my neighbor, pat, lives in the rear house next door to mine. he's about 45 or 50, and he's kind of an asshole.
he regularly takes a stroll down to giz & humz to get crunk, and then walks home when the bar closes.
last night was no exception. eric said he saw pat walking to giz & humz around 5:00 yesterday, now whether or not
he spent the whole day there, i don't know.
he also has three dogs, that all bark on a regular basis, and he's actually quite fond of them.
last night, around 2:30(in the a.m.), i'm laying in bed, waiting to fall asleep, and mike and his homie ron are chillin
in the kitchen. then i hear pat(who is definitly crunk) in his backyard playing with his dogs. next thing i know,
he's screaming at the top of his lungs: "MOTHER FUCKER! WHO FUCKING POISONED MY DOG?! GODDAMNIT! YOU FUCKING SONS OF BITCHES!"
then, i hear another voice coming from the street side of the house, i'm pretty sure it was a black man yelling: "FUCK YOU!
SHUT THE FUCK UP!!"
then i hear pat yelling back: "I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU YOU GODDAMN NIGGER! WHY DID YOU KILL MY DOG? SON OF A BITCH! MOTHER
FUCKERS! I'M GONNA KILL YOU! GODDAMNIT!"
so i jump up and throw on some pants and run into the kitchen. i asked mike if him or ron was yelling back and him, and they
weren't. but they said they saw a man running down the street right after it happened. the way i see it, the dude that was walking down the street was talking some shit, then heard he was gonna get killed, and ran like a mother fucker. now, since he was yelling from the street, what pat heard probably sounded like it was coming from my backyard.
this is where it get juicy. let's re-cap:
pat came home drunk to find his dog dead - rage factor increase
random black guy talks some shit to a drunk man
who just had an important loss - rage factor critical
pat, then jumps the 6 foot fence into my backyard, apparently wielding a hammer, then proceeds to bash on my back door. still screaming at an obscene volume. i was in my room when this took place, and ron is heading for the front door when i hear something hit the floor of my kitchen. i thought he was in the house, so i grab my shotgun and load it. then i hear glass break, so i head to the kitchen, prepared to do what i hope won't be necessary. my adrenaline starts pumping and my legs start shaking. i get to the kitchen to find no one there, but when he hit the door with the hammer, he broke out a piece of one of the panels, and that's what hit the floor. so i'm standing in the kitchen and i yell, "WHOEVER THE FUCK IS OUT THERE BETTER GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY HOUSE RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!" then i cocked my shotgun in a loud manner, just to make sure whoever is out in my backyard hears it. "WHO THE FUCK IS OUT THERE?", i yelled. no reply. i'm seriously afraid that my crazy drunk neighbor is going to bust through the back door wanting to bury his hammer in my skull, and the only way i'm going to be able to stop him is to shoot him. so i was scared, and my blood is pumping, and i just started shaking all over. i mean, i've run the scenario through my head dozens of times, if someone breaks into my house, i'm gonna shoot his ass, and no one can fuck with me. i'll be the man. but when it actually happened, i was scared shit-less. so anyway, i open the back door, and no one's there, so i called the police. i was talking to the dispatch guy for, seriously, no longer than 30 or 45 seconds, and the guys like, "ok, we've got a unit pulling up right now." by the time i got to the front of the house, there were already two cops here. the first one's a big guy, the second, a barney fife looking mother fucking who's carrying a pimped out M4 assault rifle with the red beam, scope, and all that good shit.
the cops come around the front, to find pat in his back yard, still yelling about how we poisoned his dog. and he hops over his fence and he's getting all up in the cops faces, by this time there are three of them. so the other two pull out their guns, and there's fucking red dots on the ground from their laser sights. so they arrest him and throw him in the paddy-wagon.
then they came over here to check out the damage. i was stupid and let them in through the front door, and one of my pipes was sitting on the table in the living room. and he's like "man, you don't need to be having that." then i gave him the whole thing about how we're safe about it, and how we dont get high and cause trouble, we just get stoned and play xbox. he sits me down on the couch and grabs my pipe. "there any pot on this table?", he asks. "no.", i reply. there were a couple of razor blades sitting on the table. he was like "what are those for?" now i'm like great, he thinks i do coke or some shit. i sat there silent for a second trying to find the right words to tell him, cause i just don't want to be like "cuttin dem blunts." then out of nowhere the cop standing behind him says "cuttin dem blunts." i was like yeah pretty much. he hands the pipe to me and says, "this isn't why we're here, get rid of it right now." so i stashed it.
nothing really happened after that. the cops left. pat was back at home today, and i talked to him while i was home on my break. i was out in the back yard cleaning up when he came home. he apologized for what he did. they did an autopsy on the dog, and it had cancer. i told him my side of the deal, and he was cool. he said he would pay for the damages.
that was probably the most insane hour of my entire life.
i'll give a quick situation report:
my neighbor, pat, lives in the rear house next door to mine. he's about 45 or 50, and he's kind of an asshole.
he regularly takes a stroll down to giz & humz to get crunk, and then walks home when the bar closes.
last night was no exception. eric said he saw pat walking to giz & humz around 5:00 yesterday, now whether or not
he spent the whole day there, i don't know.
he also has three dogs, that all bark on a regular basis, and he's actually quite fond of them.
last night, around 2:30(in the a.m.), i'm laying in bed, waiting to fall asleep, and mike and his homie ron are chillin
in the kitchen. then i hear pat(who is definitly crunk) in his backyard playing with his dogs. next thing i know,
he's screaming at the top of his lungs: "MOTHER FUCKER! WHO FUCKING POISONED MY DOG?! GODDAMNIT! YOU FUCKING SONS OF BITCHES!"
then, i hear another voice coming from the street side of the house, i'm pretty sure it was a black man yelling: "FUCK YOU!
SHUT THE FUCK UP!!"
then i hear pat yelling back: "I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU YOU GODDAMN NIGGER! WHY DID YOU KILL MY DOG? SON OF A BITCH! MOTHER
FUCKERS! I'M GONNA KILL YOU! GODDAMNIT!"
so i jump up and throw on some pants and run into the kitchen. i asked mike if him or ron was yelling back and him, and they
weren't. but they said they saw a man running down the street right after it happened. the way i see it, the dude that was walking down the street was talking some shit, then heard he was gonna get killed, and ran like a mother fucker. now, since he was yelling from the street, what pat heard probably sounded like it was coming from my backyard.
this is where it get juicy. let's re-cap:
pat came home drunk to find his dog dead - rage factor increase
random black guy talks some shit to a drunk man
who just had an important loss - rage factor critical
pat, then jumps the 6 foot fence into my backyard, apparently wielding a hammer, then proceeds to bash on my back door. still screaming at an obscene volume. i was in my room when this took place, and ron is heading for the front door when i hear something hit the floor of my kitchen. i thought he was in the house, so i grab my shotgun and load it. then i hear glass break, so i head to the kitchen, prepared to do what i hope won't be necessary. my adrenaline starts pumping and my legs start shaking. i get to the kitchen to find no one there, but when he hit the door with the hammer, he broke out a piece of one of the panels, and that's what hit the floor. so i'm standing in the kitchen and i yell, "WHOEVER THE FUCK IS OUT THERE BETTER GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY HOUSE RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!" then i cocked my shotgun in a loud manner, just to make sure whoever is out in my backyard hears it. "WHO THE FUCK IS OUT THERE?", i yelled. no reply. i'm seriously afraid that my crazy drunk neighbor is going to bust through the back door wanting to bury his hammer in my skull, and the only way i'm going to be able to stop him is to shoot him. so i was scared, and my blood is pumping, and i just started shaking all over. i mean, i've run the scenario through my head dozens of times, if someone breaks into my house, i'm gonna shoot his ass, and no one can fuck with me. i'll be the man. but when it actually happened, i was scared shit-less. so anyway, i open the back door, and no one's there, so i called the police. i was talking to the dispatch guy for, seriously, no longer than 30 or 45 seconds, and the guys like, "ok, we've got a unit pulling up right now." by the time i got to the front of the house, there were already two cops here. the first one's a big guy, the second, a barney fife looking mother fucking who's carrying a pimped out M4 assault rifle with the red beam, scope, and all that good shit.
the cops come around the front, to find pat in his back yard, still yelling about how we poisoned his dog. and he hops over his fence and he's getting all up in the cops faces, by this time there are three of them. so the other two pull out their guns, and there's fucking red dots on the ground from their laser sights. so they arrest him and throw him in the paddy-wagon.
then they came over here to check out the damage. i was stupid and let them in through the front door, and one of my pipes was sitting on the table in the living room. and he's like "man, you don't need to be having that." then i gave him the whole thing about how we're safe about it, and how we dont get high and cause trouble, we just get stoned and play xbox. he sits me down on the couch and grabs my pipe. "there any pot on this table?", he asks. "no.", i reply. there were a couple of razor blades sitting on the table. he was like "what are those for?" now i'm like great, he thinks i do coke or some shit. i sat there silent for a second trying to find the right words to tell him, cause i just don't want to be like "cuttin dem blunts." then out of nowhere the cop standing behind him says "cuttin dem blunts." i was like yeah pretty much. he hands the pipe to me and says, "this isn't why we're here, get rid of it right now." so i stashed it.
nothing really happened after that. the cops left. pat was back at home today, and i talked to him while i was home on my break. i was out in the back yard cleaning up when he came home. he apologized for what he did. they did an autopsy on the dog, and it had cancer. i told him my side of the deal, and he was cool. he said he would pay for the damages.
that was probably the most insane hour of my entire life.