Parachasers, 7
Title: Parachasers OR The Unnatural Interests of Suzumiya Haruhi
Rating: PG for boring after-school activities.
Summery: Haruhi finds a new hobby, bad things happen to Kyon.
7.
Koizumi was not at school on Tuesday. I didn't find this out myself, of course. There was no way I was going anywhere near Class 1-9 today. Haruhi vanished during one of our breaks (as was her custom) and came back looking irritated.
"Bah!" she said, throwing herself into her chair.
"What's wrong" I asked, not really caring to know.
"I went downstairs to talk with Koizumi, but he wasn't there! One of his classmates said he called in sick. Of all the nerve!"
Sick, huh? Okay, on one hand, it's really childish to skip school just because you embarrassed yourself. (Even if the embarrassing thing you did was as monumentally horrify as kissing one of your male friends.) On the other hand, I was extremely relieved I wouldn't have to see Koizumi today. I was not looking forward to meeting him again in the slightest.
Our next encounter was guaranteed to be one of the most uncomfortable and awkward moments of my entire life. This was not a benchmark I was particularly looking forward to achieving. I just hope he doesn't apologize again. What am I suppose to say to that? "It's okay, I'm sorry I'm not gay?"
At all. Not even slightly. Sorry.
Of course, just because Koizumi wasn't at school didn't mean I was spared from all discomfort. Haruhi was deeply annoyed that she didn't have a complete set of Brigade members to play with. Even worse, Koizumi had taken the sound recorder home with him the night before, leaving Haruhi without important data from our supernatural excursion.
She spent the day alternately grumbling about Koizumi's absence and lying listlessly across her desk in fits of melancholy. Apparently she was finally coming down from her paranormal-induced high. I wasn't looking forward to hanging around a depressed and frustrated Haruhi, but at least we probably won't have to take anymore "field trips."
Haruhi was in a slightly better mood when I arrived at the club room. To my annoyance, she had recovered enough energy to launch an investigation into Koizumi's actions the night before. Shortly after I came in, she seated herself across from me at the club room table and began an intense interrogation.
"What exactly did Koizumi say before he left last night?"
"I don't know, nothing really."
"Was he sick?" she asked, twirling a pen in her hand.
"Extremely."
"Huh, he didn't look ill earlier." It was more of a mental condition.
Haruhi gave me a suspicious look. "You're acting really strange. Did you guys have a fight or something?"
"No." Geez, stop prying, why do you even care?
"Something must have happened to make you so cranky"
"Nothing happened and I'm not 'cranky!'" I said, not doing a very good job of refuting her charge.
"Hmmm..." Haruhi placed her pen longwise under her nose and then stuck out her lips so it balanced there. She continued to stare at me with this ridiculous duck-like expression while I squirmed in my seat.
To avoid her scrutiny, I pushed back my chair and went to the pile of board games in the corner. I moved a few boxes around until I found a deck of cards that had been brought in several months ago.
Haruhi watched closely as I returned to the table and set up a Solitaire game. I tried to focus on the cards and ignore her, but that was difficult to do while she was leaning across the table and twitching her lips. She looked like she was about to start quacking.
Just as I was starting to get interested in the game, Haruhi jumped up, jarring the table-and my card game-in the process.
"Aha!" she said as the pen clattered to the ground.
"What the hell is the matter with you?" I asked, straightening my cards.
"I know what it is!" Haruhi said, pointing her finger at me accusingly. "You had a paranormal experience! Your firm understanding of reality has been shaken! You've fallen through the cracks of the known world and into the dark precipice which lurks beneath!"
"You're the only thing that's cracked here," I said, moving a red queen from the draw pile onto a black king in the far right column.
"Come on, Kyon, you can tell me what happened, I'll believe you! Mikuru and Yuki, too, right?"
Asahina gave me a serious nod and made a cute noise of agreement while Nagato flipped another page in her book. I tilted my head to catch the title. Something about turning screws? Since when does Nagato read hardware manuals?
Haruhi obnoxiously moved into my line of sight and blocked my view. "I know this can be hard for a skeptic like you to admit, Kyon, but it's okay. You're among friends here!"
"Haruhi, listen to me, I did not see a paranormal anything. Koizumi didn't feel well, he left early. End of story."
"But that doesn't make sense! I talked to Koizumi ten minutes before you came downstairs. Was he so sick he couldn't wait ten minute? And how did he get home? We didn't see him on the train!"
Okay, there are a few holes in my story, but it's nothing I can't patch up. "So he didn't feel well enough to take the train and called someone to drive him home. Stop making such a big deal out of it."
"What were his symptoms? I don't remember Koizumi ever being sick before."
"That doesn't mean he's never ill!" Who the hell loudly questions and dissects their friend's stories like this?
Haruhi started to ask another question, then paused and tapped her chin. Her eyes suddenly lit up as an idea occurred to her. I repressed the urge to wince. She turned to me once again with desperate excitement, "I've got it now, Kyon! It was Koizumi who had the paranormal experience, wasn't it?!"
I made a big show of rolling my eyes while Haruhi continued theatrically. "That must be why he left early! Was he attacked by a supernatural being? No wonder he sounded strange when we talked on the phone, he was still suffering the effects!" Attacked? Do you think this is some kind of horror movie? What kind of ghost "attacks" people?
"You have a seriously overactive imagination, Haruhi," I said.
Haruhi gave me a very long look; her expression becoming increasingly devious as the moment stretched.
"Hmm, well, I guess if nothing happened, nothing happened." She stood up and stretched with pretended indifference. "I'll just have to wait until Koizumi returns. I wish he hadn't taken the recorder with him though, I was really hoping we'd pick up some EVPs this time."
She then walked casually to the computer, smiling at me evilly the entire way. "I'm going to look through the pictures Nagato took. You enjoy your game, Kyon."
What's up with this patronizing tone? I feel like she has some kind of plan in mind for me. I doubt I'm going to like what it is.
I spent an uncomfortable hour losing at Solitaire while Haruhi beat away at the computer keys. I wanted to tell her that typing like that would wear out the keyboard, but I didn't feel like attracting her attention while she had such a manic expression.
A sudden thought occurred to me as I shuffled my cards and began laying out a fresh Solitaire game. Yesterday Haruhi had made a big deal about switching around our equipment and teams, but she hadn't actually made that many changes. The only real difference was that Nagato got the camera instead of Asahina. And also I was teamed up with Koizumi instead of Haruhi.
Strange, I wonder what prompted her to do that. Was it because she didn't want Asahina and me to have equipment? Or did she want to supervise the other girls for some reason? Eh, I'm over-thinking this. It was probably just a vague whim of Haruhi's to switch things up.
When Nagato closed her book and stood to leave, I jumped at the chance to escape. I immediately packed my school bag and handed my empty teacup over to Asahina.
I was almost to the door when Haruhi sprung. "Oh, Kyon?" she said, in a deceptively relaxed tone. I turned around to see her smiling at me over the computer screen.
"What?"
"I'm assigning you to the task of checking up on Koizumi. Make sure you get the handheld recorder from him when you visit. Oh, and let him know the entire SOS Brigade is concerned for his health."
Oh, hell no. "You're chief, you check up on him." There was no way I was letting her manipulate me into visiting Koizumi. I don't care if she covers the whole world in closed space. Quite frankly, I wouldn't mind if the world ended and I never had to see Koizumi (or Haruhi) ever again.
"The chief doesn't do menial tasks. That's what subordinates are for," Haruhi said with steel in her voice.
"Well, then maybe you should get yourself some subordinates."
Haruhi laughed coldly. "I'll look forward to your report tomorrow, Kyon," she called after me as I went out the door.
Saying it like that isn't going to make me do it.
Right?
Right!
A rather short chapter this time. Originally I was going to post part eight today as well, but I changed my mind. I'll be gone this weekend, so I won't have time to write like I usually do. Chapter eight is mostly done though, so I should be able to post it by Thursday/Friday before I leave. *Crosses fingers*
Rating: PG for boring after-school activities.
Summery: Haruhi finds a new hobby, bad things happen to Kyon.
7.
Koizumi was not at school on Tuesday. I didn't find this out myself, of course. There was no way I was going anywhere near Class 1-9 today. Haruhi vanished during one of our breaks (as was her custom) and came back looking irritated.
"Bah!" she said, throwing herself into her chair.
"What's wrong" I asked, not really caring to know.
"I went downstairs to talk with Koizumi, but he wasn't there! One of his classmates said he called in sick. Of all the nerve!"
Sick, huh? Okay, on one hand, it's really childish to skip school just because you embarrassed yourself. (Even if the embarrassing thing you did was as monumentally horrify as kissing one of your male friends.) On the other hand, I was extremely relieved I wouldn't have to see Koizumi today. I was not looking forward to meeting him again in the slightest.
Our next encounter was guaranteed to be one of the most uncomfortable and awkward moments of my entire life. This was not a benchmark I was particularly looking forward to achieving. I just hope he doesn't apologize again. What am I suppose to say to that? "It's okay, I'm sorry I'm not gay?"
At all. Not even slightly. Sorry.
Of course, just because Koizumi wasn't at school didn't mean I was spared from all discomfort. Haruhi was deeply annoyed that she didn't have a complete set of Brigade members to play with. Even worse, Koizumi had taken the sound recorder home with him the night before, leaving Haruhi without important data from our supernatural excursion.
She spent the day alternately grumbling about Koizumi's absence and lying listlessly across her desk in fits of melancholy. Apparently she was finally coming down from her paranormal-induced high. I wasn't looking forward to hanging around a depressed and frustrated Haruhi, but at least we probably won't have to take anymore "field trips."
Haruhi was in a slightly better mood when I arrived at the club room. To my annoyance, she had recovered enough energy to launch an investigation into Koizumi's actions the night before. Shortly after I came in, she seated herself across from me at the club room table and began an intense interrogation.
"What exactly did Koizumi say before he left last night?"
"I don't know, nothing really."
"Was he sick?" she asked, twirling a pen in her hand.
"Extremely."
"Huh, he didn't look ill earlier." It was more of a mental condition.
Haruhi gave me a suspicious look. "You're acting really strange. Did you guys have a fight or something?"
"No." Geez, stop prying, why do you even care?
"Something must have happened to make you so cranky"
"Nothing happened and I'm not 'cranky!'" I said, not doing a very good job of refuting her charge.
"Hmmm..." Haruhi placed her pen longwise under her nose and then stuck out her lips so it balanced there. She continued to stare at me with this ridiculous duck-like expression while I squirmed in my seat.
To avoid her scrutiny, I pushed back my chair and went to the pile of board games in the corner. I moved a few boxes around until I found a deck of cards that had been brought in several months ago.
Haruhi watched closely as I returned to the table and set up a Solitaire game. I tried to focus on the cards and ignore her, but that was difficult to do while she was leaning across the table and twitching her lips. She looked like she was about to start quacking.
Just as I was starting to get interested in the game, Haruhi jumped up, jarring the table-and my card game-in the process.
"Aha!" she said as the pen clattered to the ground.
"What the hell is the matter with you?" I asked, straightening my cards.
"I know what it is!" Haruhi said, pointing her finger at me accusingly. "You had a paranormal experience! Your firm understanding of reality has been shaken! You've fallen through the cracks of the known world and into the dark precipice which lurks beneath!"
"You're the only thing that's cracked here," I said, moving a red queen from the draw pile onto a black king in the far right column.
"Come on, Kyon, you can tell me what happened, I'll believe you! Mikuru and Yuki, too, right?"
Asahina gave me a serious nod and made a cute noise of agreement while Nagato flipped another page in her book. I tilted my head to catch the title. Something about turning screws? Since when does Nagato read hardware manuals?
Haruhi obnoxiously moved into my line of sight and blocked my view. "I know this can be hard for a skeptic like you to admit, Kyon, but it's okay. You're among friends here!"
"Haruhi, listen to me, I did not see a paranormal anything. Koizumi didn't feel well, he left early. End of story."
"But that doesn't make sense! I talked to Koizumi ten minutes before you came downstairs. Was he so sick he couldn't wait ten minute? And how did he get home? We didn't see him on the train!"
Okay, there are a few holes in my story, but it's nothing I can't patch up. "So he didn't feel well enough to take the train and called someone to drive him home. Stop making such a big deal out of it."
"What were his symptoms? I don't remember Koizumi ever being sick before."
"That doesn't mean he's never ill!" Who the hell loudly questions and dissects their friend's stories like this?
Haruhi started to ask another question, then paused and tapped her chin. Her eyes suddenly lit up as an idea occurred to her. I repressed the urge to wince. She turned to me once again with desperate excitement, "I've got it now, Kyon! It was Koizumi who had the paranormal experience, wasn't it?!"
I made a big show of rolling my eyes while Haruhi continued theatrically. "That must be why he left early! Was he attacked by a supernatural being? No wonder he sounded strange when we talked on the phone, he was still suffering the effects!" Attacked? Do you think this is some kind of horror movie? What kind of ghost "attacks" people?
"You have a seriously overactive imagination, Haruhi," I said.
Haruhi gave me a very long look; her expression becoming increasingly devious as the moment stretched.
"Hmm, well, I guess if nothing happened, nothing happened." She stood up and stretched with pretended indifference. "I'll just have to wait until Koizumi returns. I wish he hadn't taken the recorder with him though, I was really hoping we'd pick up some EVPs this time."
She then walked casually to the computer, smiling at me evilly the entire way. "I'm going to look through the pictures Nagato took. You enjoy your game, Kyon."
What's up with this patronizing tone? I feel like she has some kind of plan in mind for me. I doubt I'm going to like what it is.
I spent an uncomfortable hour losing at Solitaire while Haruhi beat away at the computer keys. I wanted to tell her that typing like that would wear out the keyboard, but I didn't feel like attracting her attention while she had such a manic expression.
A sudden thought occurred to me as I shuffled my cards and began laying out a fresh Solitaire game. Yesterday Haruhi had made a big deal about switching around our equipment and teams, but she hadn't actually made that many changes. The only real difference was that Nagato got the camera instead of Asahina. And also I was teamed up with Koizumi instead of Haruhi.
Strange, I wonder what prompted her to do that. Was it because she didn't want Asahina and me to have equipment? Or did she want to supervise the other girls for some reason? Eh, I'm over-thinking this. It was probably just a vague whim of Haruhi's to switch things up.
When Nagato closed her book and stood to leave, I jumped at the chance to escape. I immediately packed my school bag and handed my empty teacup over to Asahina.
I was almost to the door when Haruhi sprung. "Oh, Kyon?" she said, in a deceptively relaxed tone. I turned around to see her smiling at me over the computer screen.
"What?"
"I'm assigning you to the task of checking up on Koizumi. Make sure you get the handheld recorder from him when you visit. Oh, and let him know the entire SOS Brigade is concerned for his health."
Oh, hell no. "You're chief, you check up on him." There was no way I was letting her manipulate me into visiting Koizumi. I don't care if she covers the whole world in closed space. Quite frankly, I wouldn't mind if the world ended and I never had to see Koizumi (or Haruhi) ever again.
"The chief doesn't do menial tasks. That's what subordinates are for," Haruhi said with steel in her voice.
"Well, then maybe you should get yourself some subordinates."
Haruhi laughed coldly. "I'll look forward to your report tomorrow, Kyon," she called after me as I went out the door.
Saying it like that isn't going to make me do it.
Right?
Right!
A rather short chapter this time. Originally I was going to post part eight today as well, but I changed my mind. I'll be gone this weekend, so I won't have time to write like I usually do. Chapter eight is mostly done though, so I should be able to post it by Thursday/Friday before I leave. *Crosses fingers*