Fan fic: The Long Road Home, Chapter 1
Summary: Arthur and Morgana are in love, but Uther has already made plans for Morgana's future. Thus begins a journey where duty clashes with emotion.
Genre: a buffet of drama/angst/fluff/humor
Main players: Arthur and Morgana
Secondary players: Uther, Gaius, Merlin, Likable!S1 Gwen, OC's.
Warnings: This will be a long fic. No spoilers. S1 compliant, flips the bird to S2.
Story words: @30,000
Chapter 1 words: 3,000
Author's Note: I know it seems as if it will be sad, but bear with me - I swear it will be worth it! Generally I am not one of those writers who begs for reviews. However, if you would like to drop me a comment at some point (even if not every chapter), I would truly appreciate it. I've been working on this for so long and it's been a labor of love. :)
Chapter One
The afternoon sun was just beginning to stretch its arms, reaching in through the windows of the castle to warm everything in its path. Outside on the streets, the bustle of activity was reaching a fever pitch: the steady beat of passing horses, cries of people selling their wares, laughter of children, and armor clinking. It was a most normal, noisy afternoon in Camelot.
Except in Morgana’s chambers.
She was lying on her back, on her bed, using Arthur‘s chest as a most convenient, though rather hard, pillow. He had come to her over the mid-day break, for a brief (and fully clothed) respite. It was silent in the room except for their breathing, and they each reveled in the rare moment of closeness.
“I’m glad you’re comfortable,” he remarked, stirring beneath her. “But frankly, my back is killing me, and I’ve got to get back or my knights will come looking for me.”
“Imagine the scandal if they found us like this,” Morgana teased, smiling. She rolled over so that her belly was pressed against him, and she could look into his eyes. “The shock of it - Camelot’s cherished prince trying to take advantage of an innocent maiden like myself.”
He snorted. “You may be a maiden, but you are no innocent.”
“Well, a proper lady of the royal court doesn’t give up her virtue for just any man.”
“I’m not just any man!” he protested.
Morgana sneered, enjoying the teasing. “Well, you aren’t yet my betrothed. The sooner you tell your father about us, the sooner…”. Her fingers danced up his chest, pausing where the shirt laces left the skin of his chest slightly exposed. Arthur shivered a little, and the sense of power enthralled her. As much as they had wanted to, they had not gone that far in their love. After years of flirting and longing, lying awake at night wondering if feelings were mutual, they had had an emotional confrontation several months prior. Since then, they had been secretly seeing each other. It was hard to keep Arthur and her own desires at bay, but there had been other ways to find temporary satisfaction.
Arthur kissed her deeply, digging his fingers into her hair, then groaned into her neck. “Morgana. Do you enjoy torturing me?”
“Yes, actually.”
“This is utter cruelty.” He kissed her again, until she pulled back and pressed a finger to his lips.
“Then we must talk to your father, and make arrangements for a wedding. If I can be promised that, then I can promise you something else. It will be worth the wait, my love.” There were times when the frustration of not giving in made her literally ache. On the other hand, there was a sense of safety in the status quo - no one knew about their relationship, except probably Merlin and Gwen. Neither one of them was worried that Uther would reject the suggestion of their jointure - what reason could he have for refusing them? Morgana was like a daughter to him, and it was something many people assumed would happen anyway. Still, Morgana didn’t feel the need to rush things. She had a happy, exciting future to look forward to, but the present wasn’t too bad either. Sneaking around the castle, stealing kisses in darkened corners, brought its share of thrills.
Arthur apparently had other ideas. “Tonight,” he breathed. “Let’s do it tonight. I would do it right now, except Father is meeting with his council.”
She laughed at the idea of Arthur stumbling into the council meeting, in an urgent need to sate his desires. “Slow down. Are you sure? I want you to want to marry me, not just... the benefits of marriage.”
He touched his nose to hers, and the tender gesture made her heart flip. “Morgana, there is no one for you but me. This has always been our destiny. Why wait?”
Butterflies of excitement churned in Morgana’s stomach. Maybe things would be moving forward faster than she thought. “All right. After dinner, then?” She ran her finger along his jaw until his eyes met hers, and smiled. “We can do it tonight.”
She felt Arthur relax beneath her. “Excellent. I’ll send word to Father that we are requesting an audience with him tonight.”
They settled into silence for a few more minutes, Morgana resting her chin on Arthur’s shoulder and enjoying the feel of his heartbeat against hers. She felt warm and safe and loved, and it was so new and so delicious. If only it were possible to just stay like this for hours!
“I really must be going,” he said with a reluctant grumble, covering her hand with his. “Maybe you can spend all day doing nothing, but I’ve got important things to do.”
“Yes, whacking away at a straw-man with your sword is vital to the future of this kingdom,” she laughed.
Arthur wagged a finger at her as he rolled off the bed. “If some evil sorcerer conjures up an army of straw-men to invade Camelot, you’ll be sorry for teasing me so.” He kissed her once, twice, then was gone.
Morgana threw herself back on her bed with a deep sigh. Eyes half closed, she drifted into a daydream that left a satisfied smile on her face.
“My Lady, are you feeling alright?”
At the sound of her maid’s voice, Morgana sat up suddenly. Gwen must have slipped into the room as soon as Arthur had gone out. She smoothed her rumpled dress and tussled hair, trying to appear unconcerned. “I’m fine, Gwen, I just fell asleep for a bit.”
Gwen pursed her lips, a twinkle in her eye. “Ah, you must have been having a sweet dream, then.”
Morgana raised an eyebrow, reclining on her elbows. “What ever makes you say that?”
“It’s just that you’re... you’re glowing.”
She didn’t reply, but felt her cheeks burning slightly. As much time as she spent with Gwen, she supposed her maid couldn’t miss the signs of what was developing.
“It’s nice, you know,” Gwen went on. “It’s nice that Arthur makes you so happy that your dreams are pleasant, for a change.”
Indeed, the distraction of being with Arthur had made a difference in Morgana’s nightmares. She didn’t have them as often, and they weren’t nearly as terrifying. They were odd, for sure, but not the kind that made her afraid to go back to sleep. The lingering fear of what exactly these dreams meant for her was always in her mind, however. Her hope was that the future of Camelot, with Arthur as King, would be brighter and more tolerant than the present. She would be proud to call him her husband.
She twisted the tassels of a pillow around her fingers thoughtfully, beaming, unable to hold back her secret any longer. “If all goes well, Gwen,” she confessed with a twinkle in her eye, “there will soon be a wedding to plan.”
* ~ * ~ *
Arthur was removing each piece of armor one at a time and stacking them on top of Merlin’s spindly, outstretched arms. The afternoon training session had seemed to drag on forever. By now, the sun was setting low in the sky and most everyone was headed to dinner.
“Ridiculous,” he grumbled. “Did you see the clumsy way Delwin was handling his sword? It was as though he was hurling about a rock. He must have passed the knighthood test with magic. My aim was better than that when I was two years old.”
“I wish your aim was as good when it came to your chamber pot,” Merlin quipped. “It would certainly make my job a lot easier.”
Arthur rolled his eyes. “Stop your whining. You don’t hear me crying like a girl about all of my duties, do you?”
“If you had to scrub your own chamber pot, I wager there would be some tears shed.”
Arthur had to grin at his servant’s quick wit. After years of being shadowed by silent, submissive men, he often enjoyed sparring verbally with Merlin. It kept him on his toes, just as a proper prince should be.
“Besides,” Merlin went on, struggling under the weight of the armor as they walked back to the castle, “when you and the Lady Morgana get married, you’ll have to clean up your act. None of this bachelor filth.”
“I’m not filthy,” Arthur protested. “Besides, what ever makes you think I’ll be marrying Morgana?”
“I know you think I’m as sharp as a cannon ball, Arthur, but I do have eyes. I can see what you two mean to each other.” Merlin paused, studying his master. “And the blush on your cheeks is telling me I’m right.”
Arthur punched his arm, slightly playfully and slightly not. “Merlin, stop babbling. I sometimes wonder about you. Just go take all this-”, he deposited the final piece of armor in Merlin’s arms, “and get it clean. But on second thought, prepare my dinner first, I’m positively starving.” He began to talk away, considering stopping by Morgana’s chambers so they could go over their plan for talking to his father, when Merlin called to him.
“Arthur!”
“Merlin, enough talk. I said--.”
“No, I know, it’s just that I forgot to tell you. A servant brought a message for you during training. The King wishes for you to dine with him this evening,” he said. “He requests that you and Morgana join him for an important discussion.”
Arthur could have rebuked him for nearly forgetting to tell him, but instead he just nodded, and Merlin scurried off. What could this be about? It could be any matter of things, he realized, most likely not as important as his father made it out to be. He even suspected that his father sometimes grew lonely, and invited them to meals as often as he could with various excuses.
Therefore, Arthur was unworried when he walked to dinner that evening, until Morgana snatched his hand in the hallway.
“Morgana!” he cried in surprise. He hadn’t even noticed her standing there in the corner of the hall, apparently waiting for him. “You simply can’t keep your hands off me, can you?”
“Oh, stop it. Do you know what this is about?” she hissed impatiently, being careful not to attract the attention of the guards nearby. One never knew who was listening, or who to trust, in the royal court.
“No, do you?”
“No!” She shook her head. “But, what if it’s because he knows… about us? He’ll be furious.”
“I hardly think he’ll be furious. But if he is, he’ll get over it. Besides, how could he know? We haven’t told anyone.” He looked at her pointedly. “Have we?”
Morgana bit her lip, the way she always did when she was worried. It was one of the many things Arthur found cute. “No, of course I haven’t told anyone. It just that, Gwen, I think she has noticed… it would be hard not to notice, I suppose.”
“Merlin has made some comments,” he admitted. “So he probably knows. But they wouldn’t tell Father, and even if he did know, I still don’t think he’d be angry.”
“Well, he’ll be furious that we left it a secret and didn’t ask his permission to...”, she paused, as if trying to find the right words to describe their relationship. What exactly were they doing? “...Court each other.”
Arthur touched her cheek. “Oh, is that what we are doing, my Lady? Come, let’s have some dinner, and find out what Father has up his sleeve.”
Once entering the room and taking a seat at the table, their worries vanished. Uther appeared totally at ease, greeting them as he always did and with no mention of anything important. Arthur shot Morgana a look that clearly said, “I told you so,” which she returned with her trademark glare.
Arthur ate his food and talked very little, watching Morgana across the table. It was so hard to be casual around her anymore. She looked extra beautiful tonight. Sometimes he wanted to kick himself for not noticing it sooner, for not having these feelings earlier. What a waste of time! They had gone about their lives as two people who were definitely not siblings but closer than mere friends. Then all of a sudden, just a few months ago, their mutual confessions had spilled out. Within moments, they had shared their first kiss. Well, it wasn’t technically their first kiss, as they had exchanged multiple awkward pecks throughout their teenage years. But this kiss had been heated and passionate, and surely the best Arthur had ever had. Occasionally during the meal, he felt Morgana’s foot tap his leg, and they exchanged meaningful glances. He suspected that if she continued her teasing ways, he would simply die of frustration and Camelot would be left without an heir. It was all the more reason to have this conversation with his father tonight.
It was after the main course dishes had been cleared away by the servants that Arthur decided to get to the bottom of this. Once that was over, he and Morgana could make their own announcement. “So, what is this matter you wish to discuss, Father?” he asked. “Anything important that we need to discuss?”
“It truly is a matter of utmost importance this time,” Uther said. Seeing the stricken look on both young people’s faces, he hastily added, “but it’s nothing bad, nothing to worry about. It’s good news.”
Morgana raised an eyebrow curiously and set down her wine goblet. “What is this good news, then? Don’t keep us in suspense.”
Uther smiled. “I’ve received an offer of marriage for you, Morgana. King Tormod of Gleanntan has asked for your hand.”
Arthur felt the words like a punch to his gut.
* ~ * ~ *
Morgana’s blood had run cold. A million words of despair lodged themselves in her throat in one giant lump. Everything around her seemed to be whirling, making it hard to focus. The flickering of the candles suddenly seemed too harsh, and her gown felt too tight, constricting her every breath.
“King Tormod is a most excellent ruler-”, Uther explained.
“I know who he is,” she cut him off, seething. “He is a decrepit old man.” She had heard gossip and whispers about the hunched-over ruler of the kingdom of Gleanntan, a far journey northeast of Camelot. Apparently, although one of the wealthiest rulers, he was bony and shriveled, no longer the statuesque king he once was. Her stomach turned at the thought of having to be his wife.
“Yes, he is an old man,” Uther conceded. “But one who is kind and generous and loved by his people. This marriage will form a bond of unity between Gleanntan and Camelot. He has lost three wives and still needs an heir.”
“I am no brood mare. Is that all I am to you? An animal you can sell for breeding stock?” Bristling, she could feel Arthur’s eyes on her, but didn’t dare look at him for fear of losing what little was left of her composure.
“Of course not. But begetting heirs is a fact of life for any kingdom.” Uther paused, pulling out a velvet-lined box from under the table. “See, he sent this as a token of his affection for you.”
He opened the lid and pushed it across the table to Morgana. The ruby was certainly stunning: a large round pendant surrounded by shimmering diamonds of the highest quality and workmanship. It hung from a chain of pure, smooth gold. These were jewels fit for a queen, not just any courtier. And yet, she had no interest in the bauble.
“Send word that I refuse his offer.” She turned up her nose and shoved the box back across the table. “And his jewels.”
Uther shifted awkwardly in his seat. “Morgana, you fail to understand the situation. We’ve come to an agreement on the terms of your dowry. Tormod and I have already sealed the pact. The marriage will happen.”
Morgana stood up from her seat, hot tears of fury beginning to fill her eyes despite her efforts to hold them back. “How could you do this without my consent?”
“Just calm down.” Uther waved his hand casually, as if she were nothing more than a pesky horsefly.
His manner was still so relaxed, it only made her angrier, and she continued to push. “How dare you. You swore to my father you would take care of me! Or does that promise you made to him not even matter anymore?”
His patience gone at the mention of his oldest friend, Uther stood up and banged his fist on the table. “Taking care of you is exactly what I am doing. I have arranged a most advantageous marriage for you, in a deal that will bring prosperity to both our realms. You should be grateful and honored. Your father most certainly would be pleased.” His face reddening, he went on. “You fail to realize what an honor this is, Morgana. You’ll be treated with the utmost respect. Getting to be queen is an honor that even a highborn lady like yourself can rarely dream of.”
Yet she had already dreamed of herself as a future queen, just not to this particular king. She glanced at Arthur, who had his hands folded in his lap and was staring at the table. Why was he saying nothing, and leaving her to fight with Uther on her own?
“I’d rather wear rags and beg in the streets than surrender myself to the control of any man,” she spat bitterly.
“I’ve told you, the marriage has already been arranged.” Uther sat back down and sighed. “There is no backing out of it, Morgana. To do so would surely cause Tormod a great offense, to the point where he could declare war on Camelot. How could you wish that on the people of this kingdom?”
She was silenced instantly. Of course Uther would use that against her - her sense of compassion. Obviously she didn’t want to bring war to Camelot and its innocent people. This harsh reality, the feel of her own future slipping between her fingers, took her breath away.
Uther continued speaking, and she heard him as if she were underwater. “Tormod’s chief ambassador is coming in three days to meet you... to inspect you, to get to know you a bit. He will stay here for a few days, then go back to Gleanntan to prepare for your arrival there. Arthur and several of his knights will accompany you on the journey.”
“When will I leave?” she asked, still standing but her knees were quaking, her voice barely a whisper.
“In two weeks’ time.”
Two weeks? Two weeks until her life would change forever.
“I would rather the executioner chop off my head. I will never forgive you for this.” Fighting the sobs that threatened to erupt from her throat, Morgana pushed back her chair and fled.
--
Chapters 2 & 3 - http://a-boleyn1230.livejournal.com/137774.html
Chapter 4 - http://a-boleyn1230.livejournal.com/138216.html#cutid1