| First Faetality | Video
[The ‘berry beeps ten times as Kenzi frantically tries to use it to dial a number. She activates what she thinks is speaker phone and holds the device just below her mouth. When she speaks, it’s in an urgent but hushed tone]
Bo? ... Bo?! It’s Kenzi, obs! Either I’ve been abducted by aliens or the men in white coats tapped my phone, heard all those CRAZY freakin’ things I’ve been saying and they finally caught up with me. This better be your voicemail because this is NOT my phone and I am NOT in anywhere I recognize and I am SERIOUSLY FREAKING OUT! [She starts taking quick and shallow breaths] Oh god. I think I’m getting asthma again. You can totally get asthma, right? Because you never answered me that one time and oh em gee... Bo. Seriously.
[And then it hits her.] ... Holy shit balls, I bet it was Lauren, THAT BITCH! She totally ratted me out or is like... holding me for ransom so you’ll come in and bang her! That is totally what’s happening. Okay, so if you get a chance, come save me with your nookie-powered super ... powers. K, love you, bye!
... This phone is bananas! How do I even turn it off?! WHY WOULD THEY GIVE ME A PHO-- [Click.]
Bo? ... Bo?! It’s Kenzi, obs! Either I’ve been abducted by aliens or the men in white coats tapped my phone, heard all those CRAZY freakin’ things I’ve been saying and they finally caught up with me. This better be your voicemail because this is NOT my phone and I am NOT in anywhere I recognize and I am SERIOUSLY FREAKING OUT! [She starts taking quick and shallow breaths] Oh god. I think I’m getting asthma again. You can totally get asthma, right? Because you never answered me that one time and oh em gee... Bo. Seriously.
[And then it hits her.] ... Holy shit balls, I bet it was Lauren, THAT BITCH! She totally ratted me out or is like... holding me for ransom so you’ll come in and bang her! That is totally what’s happening. Okay, so if you get a chance, come save me with your nookie-powered super ... powers. K, love you, bye!
... This phone is bananas! How do I even turn it off?! WHY WOULD THEY GIVE ME A PHO-- [Click.]