[Fic] "Office Duties" (3/4)
Title: Office Duties (3/4)
Author: a_lifestyle
Fandom: Naruto (Kakashi/Sakura)
Rating: R (Language, lulz.)
Words: 5,486
Summary:
So, I'm very sorry, but I tried to pack everything into one last chapter as planned, but it was just too hefty so...I'm a big fat liar, and this will be in four parts instead of three. Please forgive me! I've decided to make it up with a smutty one-shot I've been playing around with for a few days. That'll be up soon, too, as well as the last part of Office Duties (I promise, it's the last part, for reals). Enjoy!
Office Duties
Part Three
As an apology, Sakura agreed to buy Genma a drink, and they left directly for the pub after her shift at the hospital, in spite of the complaints of her current state (bloody scrubs, sexy). As they sat down, Sakura noted that she had shown up to the bar nearly every night since Naruto had taken office; the shots were going down smoothly, and beer was strangely starting to taste like water.
“Genma, I think I’m an alcoholic,” she mused, taking a seat at the corner table that was usually reserved for her and her ex-sensei.
“Well,” he said, motioning to the bartender. “Whether you are or not can be easily determined over a drink. You up for sake tonight?”
“What’s the occasion?” she asked, mentally balancing her bank account.
“Oh, well, this dear friend of yours is leaving on a terribly dangerous mission tomorrow, leaving you, my sweet damsel, to do nothing but sit and await my return.”
“The stress is just unbearable.” She thanked the bartender when their sake arrived. “Kakashi seems to think you’ll be sitting around with your thumbs up your asses.”
Genma poured a round for he and the Hokage’s assistant, who sat slumped over the table, head resting in her hands. He lifted his glass in the air, and she raised an eyebrow.
“To what should we toast tonight, sweetheart?” he asked.
She snorted. “To Mr. Ukki.”
It was Genma’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “Kakashi’s plant?”
“No. My plant now. I hijacked it when Kakashi almost killed it. It’s a freaking cactus, Genma. Thought to be totally un-killable.”
“Kakashi’s got some talent.”
“But, the way it is, Mr. Ukki’s the only thing in my life that doesn’t make me want to throw myself out a window. A very, very high window.”
“Fair enough. I get to make a toast, too.”
“Well, if you’re just gonna go ahead and make the rules now, too-“
“To Rika-san.”
Sakura slammed her head down on the table. “I have gone almost three whole hours without hearing that name, and you just have to go and-“
“It’s karma, Sakura. If you talk or think ill of someone, throw a toast in their name and you won’t be horribly punished later on.”
“I think whoever’s in charge of dishing out the karma has started early.” She stared at his blissfully moronic expression and sighed heavily, lifting her glass. “Fine. To Rika. May your jugs always be bouncy and your head stay attached to your body, for your own sake.”
“Ah. That’s the spirit.” They drank, the sake warming her belly. Genma slammed his glass down and began to pour them another round. His head began to feel a bit fuzzy-admitting quietly to himself that he was getting older-and he felt a pang of sympathy for the beautiful girl in front of him with the health of a woman twice her age. No shinobi expected this chosen life to be a cakewalk, but it had been particularly hard on Sakura who had to battle extraordinarily high expectations since the day she was teamed with the Uchiha and the Nine-Tails.
“Cheer up, sunshine. It’s the weekend, and you won’t have to be anywhere near the tower til’ Monday.”
Sakura smiled. He was certainly making a valiant effort. “Thanks, Genma. Whether you’re being nice because you empathize with my pain or because I’m picking up the tab, I thank you nonetheless for your attempts to make me not want to stab myself in the face with a scalpel.”
He grinned, and they clinked glasses once again. “My pleasure.” He brought the glass to his lips, and his smile suddenly fell, his eyes widening as Kakashi and Rika entered the pub, taking a seat at the far end of the bar.
“Ah, shit.”
Sakura’s head tilted back with her drink. She opened her eyes, head upside-down, and nearly dropped her glass.
Oh. Oh. Of course. Her eyes shot back to Genma, pleading.
“Why, Genma? I am a good, good person-”
He patted her shoulder as he poured her another. Quickly. “I know, I know-“
“All I wanted was to just come here with you, my good friend, and have a couple drinks and not think about anything to do with work, ever. Or at least until Monday.”
“I know, I know-“
“And look who’s here. And who she’s with. I don’t even know who to be mad at, Dumb or Dumber.”
“Who is who?”
“I can’t even decide.”
“Ah, point taken. Well, I wouldn’t read too much into it-“
“There’s nothing to interpret; it’s pretty obvious, isn’t it?” She threw back another glass and held it out for Genma to refill, which he did, like his life depended on it. Because it did. “Kakashi’s macking it on Rika, who he knows is, like, the bane of my existence, and therefore wants to punish me for something, and wow, this sake is tasty.”
Genma bit his bottom lip as Sakura began to reach for the entire bottle and glanced over at the couple in the opposite corner in deep conversation interspersed with Rika’s laughter. “It’s probably nothing. Business.”
Sakura coughed. “Business. Are you serious?”
“Yeah, I guess that was a pretty lame excuse, sorry.”
“Ugh. Whatever.” Sakura peeked over her shoulder at Kakashi, who hadn’t taken down his mask, but his eye crinkled in a way that made Sakura’s face hot-and not in the drunk, obliviously happy way. She leaned forward, resting her head on the edge of the table. “Tell me when they start making out so I can make my exit.”
“Kakashi’s not like that-“
“Like hell he’s not. One time, we were on a mission and said we ‘had to split up’ because the mission required several lookout points. Naruto left his post to take a piss and Kakashi was screwing some maid at the inn we were staying at. In our bathroom. We were twelve, Genma. Twelve.”
Genma took in a long breath. Why he couldn’t just have a nice drink with a pretty girl was beyond him. Especially when said pretty girl was face down on the table and most likely feeling a bit shitty about herself. Genma had been around a number of women in his lifetime, and learned that nothing simultaneously induced panic and perplexity quite like a depressed, drunk girl.
Not to mention, if he (accidentally, or not) managed to piss of this particular girl, he would immediately get a fist of a thousand furies to the face.
He waited for several minutes for her to engage with him in conversation again, but her face remained on the table. Although, he did notice a visible twitch whenever Rika’s laughter rang throughout the pub.
“I think now is a fantastic time to leave,” Genma said carefully, after twenty minutes or so had passed.
“That would be a good idea, I think,” Sakura mumbled to the table. Without taking her forehead off the surface, she dug her hands into her purse and slid some money underneath the empty sake bottle.
“Come on, let’s ninja out of here,” Genma said, holding out his arms.
“No, I can do this myself,” Sakura assured him as she planted her hand on the table for leverage.
Only, she misjudged the location of the table, and flew into the floor.
“Damniiiit,” she cursed, side of her cheek resting on the wood. At least it was cool.
“Oh, boy,” Genma sighed, leaning over and offering his hand. The bartender, alerted by the rather noisy commotion, peered over the bar.
“Ninjas…” he muttered, shaking his head and resuming his work.
“The hell’s it to you, old man?!” Genma shot back, perturbed.
“Genma, why’dja go and move the goddamn table all the way over there?” Sakura whined, still immobile. She sniffled, then sneezed. “God, this floor is filthy.”
“For the love of Lucy, get up, then!” Genma cried desperately, gesticulating wildly.
“I would, but I don’t want to touch the floor!”
“If you haven’t noticed, babe, you are lying on it.”
“This is all your fault. Somehow, this is all your fault.”
“When I said I could drink you under the table, I didn’t mean for you take it literally-“
“Oh, just wait, Shiranui. If I ever figure out where my bones went, I swear to god-“
“Need a hand?” came a familiar voice.
Sakura peered through the eye not on the floor. An outstretched hand of a silver-haired shinobi hovered in her sight, and she grumbled, turning her head the other way.
“Hello, Kakashi,” Sakura greeted the wall. “Fancy meeting you here. Genma and I were just leaving.”
“Sakura-san!” Rika chimed in, to Sakura’s utter delight. “Do you want some water? I hear drinking lots of water prevents hangovers-“
“I’m not drunk!” Sakura insisted, and she rolled over, sitting up and slamming her head on the underside of the table.
“Owww,” she moaned, flopping back on the floor.
“All right, Sakura,” Kakashi leaned in and hoisted her up to a standing position. Sakura breathed in his shirt, and happened upon a moment of clarity as to where she was, what exactly was going on, and whom precisely she was with.
Her face became hot and she pushed Kakashi away from her. She backed into the table, leaning on it as she attempted to be casual, holding her head high.
“Thank you,” she mumbled, almost inaudible, smiling with her teeth. She looked up through her bangs that currently sagged in front of her eyes and saw Kakashi staring at her; his head tilted a bit, arms out in case she bowled over again. Rika stood behind him, hand on his shoulder, peering down at Sakura with concern.
They both looked so…concerned.
Her anger flared again, suddenly. She wasn’t going to be the desperate one. This was all so stupid. Kakashi was the pathetic one. It was beyond her why he’d ditch her and bring Rika to the bar instead, and it infuriated her to a level she didn’t understand. Which, in turn, made her more angry that she didn’t understand herself in the first place. She was just fine, thank you very much! She smoothed out her skirt and inhaled sharply, quickly adverting her eyes away from the two dolts in front of her.
“Let’s go, Genma,” Sakura said, grabbing his hand and leading him out the door.
Genma threw Kakashi one last “what the fuck?” look before being dragged out of the bar. Kakashi’s eyebrows furrowed.
“I hope Sakura-san is okay,” Rika said, once they had watched the two exit.
“She’ll be fine,” Kakashi said. “I’ve seen her worse.” He stood fully and lightly pressed her lower back. “I’ll walk you home.”
Rika giggled. “My parents live right across the street.”
“Chivalry wasn’t dead, last time I checked.”
Kakashi paid the tab (twice in a week-maybe he was becoming a pushover) and walked out of the bar with Rika beside him. The cool air felt nice on his face, but his mask stayed on.
Twenty yards down the street, they arrived at a modest apartment, marked 107, the “7” barely hanging on by a single screw.
“Well, thanks for everything, Kakashi-san,” Rika said, smiling. “We’ll see you back soon, and with a full, detailed mission report, right?”
“Footnotes and everything, “ Kakashi smirked. He nodded. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight!” She quietly entered and closed the door behind her, careful not to wake her parents.
Kakashi stepped down from the small stair and walked out onto the street. His thoughts strayed from that night to the next morning. He needed to shower, pack, leave food out for Pakkun (that freeloader), clean the bathroom-
His heart stopped when he heard a shriek in the distance. He squinted ahead to see two figures in the distance. One was on the ground, ass in the air, the other flailing about wildly.
Chuckling to himself, he made note to also leave two aspirin and a bottle of water by Sakura’s window sill before they left Konoha.
Meanwhile, the side of Sakura’s face had met the ground once more, and Genma picked her up easily, throwing her over her shoulder.
“Can do it all by yourself, huh?” he jabbed.
“Did anyone else see that besides you?” she asked the back of Genma’s jounin vest.
“Nope, I’m just lucky enough to be the only witness.”
“Okay, good, because that just took everything out of me not to fly ass over elbows in front of them. Again.”
Genma laughed lightly. “Hang on.”
Flying over rooftops (to Sakura’s stomach’s horror), he carried her the short distance to her apartment, landing by her bedroom window with ease. He laid her out on the bed and began to take her shoes off.
“How th’fuck did you get those strappy things off so fast?” Sakura mumbled, already half asleep.
“Practice.” He laid her socks next to her shoes at the foot of the bed, pulling a coversheet over her.
“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” Sakura asked.
“I haven’t decided.” He leaned in to fluff the pillow behind her head. From this angle, the moonlight glazed her hair in silver tones and covered her face in a pale sheet, and for a moment she wasn’t the brat that had hung around Kakashi for the past dozen years. He recognized this as he took a moment to watch sleep overtake her deceivingly fragile frame.
“If you even lay one finger on me, I’ll have Kakashi pee in your canteen.”
“A man can’t get a break, can he?” He laughed and walked towards the window. He stopped with a hand came down on his.
“Thanks, Genma. Please don’t tell me about any of this tomorrow. Or, ever.”
A smile couldn’t help but tug the corners of his mouth. “Goodnight, Pinky.”
Her face screwed up at the abhorred nickname, but she was too tired to move an inch. Genma waited until she was good and drooling before leaving, closing the window latch carefully.
----------
A week later, Friday had arrived once more, and Sakura was quickly finishing things up at the office so that she could meet up with Kakashi for a drink. Since he had returned from his mission (two days, thumbs up asses, check, check), Sakura’s schedule had been so hectic that it was the only time that week she could manage to see him. Between emergency surgeries and the extra work that had come up when Naruto had come down with the flu (seriously-the Nine Tails. With the flu. What the hell.), Sakura had called out of her late evening shift at the hospital and she was home free.
She was about to punch her time card when she realized that she hadn’t checked the mail that day. Pushing her bangs out of her face, she descended the stairs to the mailroom one last time to collect today’s correspondence.
Things had been just as peachy as they always had been with Rika, so when Sakura entered the mailroom to see the blonde wobbling in her heels with an armful of mail, her right eye began that all-too-familiar twitch.
“Hi, Rika,” Sakura managed through her teeth.
Startled, Rika jumped, losing her grip on the piles of letters.
“Oh, good afternoon, Sakura-san-oohhh!!!”
The mail slid through her arms and fell to the floor, a few stray letters floating to the ground in its wake. Sakura inhaled. Deeply. She stooped to begin picking it all up, Rika apologizing fast and furiously behind her, stuffing letters into her cleavage (ugh) and pockets frantically.
“Oh, god, I’m so sorry!” Rika yelped, scooping up a small package in her arms.
“It’s fine,” Sakura snipped. God, her back ached.
“I just remembered that we hadn’t gotten the mail today after Naruto-sama’s lunch, because he got so sick suddenly-“
“Uh-huh…” Sakura mumbled, half-listening. Or, not at all, really. She picked up a familiar letter in a yellow envelope, its address she had carefully printed with blue ink scratched out with dark ink, the word “Return to Sender,” in all capitals.
Hm. She opened the letter, general “uh-huh”ing at Rika’s constant chatter ensuing.
“And then I told Naruto-sama that there was no way it could have been the onigiri, because both you and I had had at least two each and we weren’t sick at all…”
As Rika continued gathering the rest of the mail, Sakura opened the letter, a small post-it note inside with perfect block lettering on which read:
Haruno-san: While I appreciate thank yous in many forms, I’m afraid this one in particular was ill-directed. Nice clip, though. -Ibiki.
Sakura peered into the envelope to find a letter, attached with a single pink paper clip.
That’s weird. If Ibiki received Gaara-sama’s letter, then-
Oh.
“Rika,” Sakura said slowly, the pieces coming together. Unfortunately.
She stopped her frantic movements to address Sakura. “Yes, Sakura-san?”
“Rika, do you remember when I asked you to send this letter?”
Sakura held it up between two fingers. Rika squinted, then nodded enthusiastically.
“Yes! I remember! It was a letter to the Kazekage!”
Sakura closed her eyes. “And do you remember the other letter I asked you to send on that same day? It was kind of hefty-but similar envelope?”
Rika’s eyes crossed in her efforts to remember-or maybe she was just looking at her bangs, either way-then cocked her head to the side.
“It was to Morino Ibiki,” Sakura continued, through gritted teeth. “I asked you to label it, ‘Confidential.’ As in, it’s secret. As in, it contains information for Morino Ibiki’s eyes only and if it got into someone else’s hands, my ass would be on the line?”
She paused, and then her eyes lit up in sudden realization. “I remember.”
Sakura held up the letter once more. “Pink paper clip. Gaara-sama. Confidential letter. Ibiki-san. That’s what I said, right?”
Rika nodded slowly, coming to terms with the fact that she most likely made a very large error that was causing Sakura’s body to convulse rather intensely. And probably not out of glee.
“Well. I just got a letter returned to me. The letter for Gaara-sama. But it wasn’t returned to me from Suna. Could you take a wild guess and tell me who received the letter with the pink. Paper. Clip!?”
The blonde winced. “…um…Morino-san?” she squeaked.
“That’s right, Rika. Very smart of you. And now, could you venture a guess as to the location of the extremely confidential files that needed to be send to Morino-san?”
Tears began to well in Rika’s eyes. “To Suna?”
Sakura’s hands began to shake. “Right again, Rika. Information about Konoha’s classified interrogation techniques are on their way, if not already there, to the leader of Suna. Although we are in peaceful times, can you see how this would be a problem?”
“Sakura-san, it was a mistake-“ Rika began.
Sakura laughed, throwing the letter on the ground. “Obviously. It was a big fucking mistake, Rika. And you know who’s going to get nailed for it?” Sakura pointed to her chest. “Me. It’s going to be my fault for something my subordinate did. You didn’t think about the implications of this mistake, did you?”
“But-but, Sakura-san, like you said, the envelopes were very similar, and I did my best to make sure that they were separate-“
Sakura slammed her hand on the mailroom table, letters flying everywhere. “Tell me you’re joking.”
She took one look at Rika’s teary, unwavering guilty expression and knew it was anything but.
“I’m so, so sorry, Sakura-san-“ Rika began, voice trembling.
“Stop,” Sakura said firmly, lips pressing together into a thin line. She slumped over, her anger boiling and making her whole body hot, her temples pulsating. “Just. Just don’t say anything.”
“Please, Sakura-san, I didn’t mean-“
“I’m sure you didn’t mean anything. You never mean anything. You aren’t ever anything, I know, I know!” She was furious, and blood shot to her head, a headache bulleting through her brain. “Rika, it’s been two months, and you just can’t make mistakes like this! I don’t know if we can keep you here anymore; it’s just not working out.”
The two stood there, staring at each other, the mail lying in a disorganized pile between them. Sakura expected Rika to either burst into tears or run away, or hopefully a combination of both; she did not expect Rika to slap her across the face.
“Ow!” Sakura cried, taking a step back. She was too surprised to move, standing still while the tall girl loomed over her.
“Sakura-san,” Rika began, her voice wavering slightly, gaining confidence as she continued. “I have done everything in my power to do whatever you and Naruto-sama ask, because that is my new job. I just ran my parent’s takoyaki stand because that’s all I could really do. My parents couldn’t afford fancy universities, or any university. When they found out I was working for the Hokage, they were so proud of me. That never happened before. I want this job more than anything. You’ve never seen me do anything wrong before, and I don’t know why you would fire anyone after only one mistake. It was a big, big mistake, and I am so sorry, I really, really am.”
Sakura stared. Her mind flipped through the past two months, and she had to admit, even though Rika annoyed the shit out of her, and her boobs were always on display, and she did slam Sakura’s head into the door by accident, she had never actually done anything wrong. Her paperwork was a little sloppy, but always thorough, she was never late, and she even knew how Sakura liked her coffee.
“And I know,” Rika continued. “I know you hate me. I don’t know why you hate me, but I knew that you always did.”
“Well, um, hate is a very strong word, Rika-” Sakura started.
“Kakashi-san told me himself that you despise me,” she said quickliy.
“…oh.” God damn that old man, Sakura thought. She made a mental note to accidently slam his balls into a table or something of equivalent discomfort next time she saw him.
“It’s okay though,” Rika said. “That’s why I asked Kakashi-san to talk to me that night you-you, um…”
“…made out with the floor?” Sakura finished.
“Yeah.” Rika broke the stare, and bent her head, looking down at her hands that fiddled with the chipping polish of her nails. “Naruto-sama said that you and Kakashi were very close, and I thought that the one person who could help me figure out a way for you to like me was him. I had tried just about everything I could think of.” Tears started to run down her face.
Sakura’s face fell. This wasn’t the way she thought things would happen; Rika was crying, and she felt like absolute shit about it.
“I’m so sorry, Sakura-san!,” Rika continued through quiet sobs. “And I’m sorry I just hit you, I’m so, so sorry! I just love this job, and you’re firing me just because I’m not as smart, or as pretty as you, and you hate me, and it’s not right! It’s not right at all!”
Well. That “not as pretty bit” was news to Sakura. She took her hand from her face and stepped towards Rika, putting her hand on her shoulder. “Listen. I obviously made a mistake, too. And our two mistakes just cancelled each other out, and now there’s none. Nothing. Let’s just forget anything happened. Okay?”
Rika nodded and blew her nose into a bill from the power company (they overcharge, anyway). “Okay.”
“I’ll call Gaara-sama in the morning and explain things, and Ibiki will hopefully be generous and not draw and quarter me. Problem solved.” Sakura took a deep breath and attempted a smile, which somewhat resembled a pained expression. It was the effort that counted, right? “You’re not fired, Rika.”
Rika beamed and wiped her eyes, smudging eyeliner on her brow. “Really?”
“Yes, really.”
Rika clotheslined Sakura with a hug and she began jumping up and down simultaneously, jostling mail everywhichwhere. “Thank you so much, Sakura-san!”
“No problem,” Sakura wheezed. “The choke-hold’s a little much, though, Rika.”
Rika let go and grinned sheepishly. “Sorry. And, um, again…I’m sorry about the slap.”
“It’s all right. I’m a ninja; I should’ve avoided that.”
“I was a little surprised, I have to admit.”
They shared a small laugh, and Sakura sighed, overlooking the pile of mail. “Let’s get the mail up to the office. And then, I need a drink.”
Rika smiled and reached into her purse. “Actually, remember when I said I asked Kakashi-san about getting you on my good side?” She pulled a bottle of barrel-aged sake from her purse. The good kind. The kind that Sakura could slam down and feel like a superhero for the night.
“This is my favorite!” Sakura said, holding the bottle in disbelief.
“He said that even if you still hated me, at least you’d be drunk enough to forget for a little while.”
Sakura cradled the bottle like a baby (a beautiful, potent baby). “He knows me well.”
----------
One bottle of superhero power-enducing sake later, Sakura and Rika sat on the floor of the Hokage’s office, shoes off and laughing at a joke, most likely forgetting why it was funny or who told it in the first place. Rika leaned in close to Sakura suddenly.
“I know we’re friends and everything now, but please don’t make out with me,” Sakura said, suppressing giggles. “My last dry spell ended in a tumble with Ino, and she’s definitely the jealous type.”
Rika laughed in a barking kind of way that was actually pretty endearing. “Sakura-san, I need to confess something to you!”
“Listen, just a minute ago, you said I was pretty and smart, and I don’t know if my fragile heart can handle all this adoration-“
“Sakura-san, I’m serious!” She leaned in to whisper in Sakura’s ear, in spite of the fact that they were the only two left in the building except the Hokage himself (who was most likely laid out in bed with his stomach pooching out and a half-eaten bowl of ramen on the nightstand). “I think I have feelings for Naruto-sama.”
Sakura’s cheeks blew up, her mouth closed tight and eyes wide open, a vain attempt to hold in her laughter. She quickly glanced over at Rika to make sure she wasn’t joking and then burst into uncontrollable giggles.
“Naruto?!” Sakura said incredulously. “Are you serious?”
Rika’s face fell into a rather pathetic and desperate expression.
“…sorry,” Sakura mumbled, clearing her throat and maintaining her composure. Or trying to. “Well, uh, does he know that you like him…like that?”
Rika shook her head. “I’ve tried giving him…signals, but it doesn’t seem to be working very well.”
“Uh, well…what kind of ‘signals’ are you sending? He’s not the most, uh, receptive person, you know.”
“Well…how do you get a someone’s attention?”
“Um. ‘Hey!’ and general wild flailing usually work.”
“You know what I mean! There’s, like, certain things you do when you wanna flirt with someone.”
Sakura sighed and looked at Rika blankly. “Rika, my usual company is a ramen-obsessed Hokage, a horny, orally-fixated old man, and an anti-social, one-eyed, no-faced porn reader. And people wonder why I’m single.”
Rika laughed, and quickly covered her mouth. “I’m sorry, that was mean of me.”
“No offense taken. Anyway, the most effective way to get Naruto to understand that you have feelings for him is to tell him directly. He’s, um…distracted pretty often, and may not realize unless you just let him know yourself. Believe me, he’ll probably be thrilled.”
Rika nodded slowly in understanding. “Okay. I think I could do that.” She suddenly sat back down against the wall and started snickering.
Sakura raised an eyebrow. “To what, may I ask, are you sniggering at, Rika-san?”
The blonde twirled her hair around her finger. “Oh, I was just wondering when you were going to confess your feelings to Kakashi-san.”
Sakura bolted off the floor and spun to face Rika in horror (which was all a very impressive move, when the floor and ceiling and walls melted together in her eyeballs). “What the hell did he say to you?”
Rika shrieked in delight. “So you do have feelings for him! I was just guessing.”
Sakura’s mouth opened and closed. “I have no such feelings. I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t care about any of this! This is why I don’t have any girl friends; it’s all talk about boys and giggling and naked pillow fights and-“
“Well, maybe you’d like to know what Kakashi-san thinks of you?” Rika baited.
Sakura was hooked. She stopped talking, stopped waving her arms around. She pursed her lips and crouched down in front of Rika. “Go on,” she said slowly.
Rika smiled, her eyes practically glittering. “Well, you know how I asked him to help me be likeable to you?”
“Apparently, all it takes is a bottle of sake to get the ball rolling-“
“Shh! Sakura-san, he said that he thought that you may have felt a little…um…” she looked away suddently. “Threatened. By me.”
Sakura’s face fell. “Cold, Kakashi. Very cold.”
“But! I said that couldn’t possibly be true. And he said, and I quote, ‘Sakura doesn’t know how beautiful she actually is.’”
She pushed her pink hair out of her face, and gave Rika a look. “You’re not fucking with me, right?”
“No, Sakura-san.”
“So, you think that Kakashi has feelings for me? Signals, and everything?”
“Yes. I’ve been good at this my whole life.”
“How old are you, Rika?”
“Seventeen.”
“…Right.” Sakura sat down and contemplated this new information. There was a possibility that Kakashi cared about her in…in this way that included romantic lovey-dovey things that Ino had talked to her about at some point but she had neglected to care about when there were so many new poisons to create antidotes for. She supposed the thought of Kakashi and her in this way didn’t make her feel sick or strange, and that was a plus.
But what it also meant was that Kakashi had failed to mention to her that he felt this way. They had made a pact as mission partners that they would be direct and disclose everything to each other, and this definitely fell under the “things-Sakura-needs-to-know” category. Which meant, essentially, Kakashi had failed to uphold the pact, and purposely made her out to be a floundering idiot, what, with his offhand remarks that made her blush like a moron and his annoying unexpected hug from behind that made her heart beat through her chest. He was making her look like an idiot! On purpose!
Sakura was ticked. “That ass is going to be in trouble next time I see him.”
“Well,” Rika said, backing away. “That’s usually not the reaction when someone realizes that the person that they really care about feels the same way-“
“He’s making me out to be a fool, and what’s worse, he’s getting away with it.” Sakura stood and her head spun deliciously.
“I don’t think that-“
“No! This is just the kind of thing that he would do!” She crossed her arms and looked towards the ceiling contemplatively. “That conniving son of a-“
“Ah, Sakura-san-“
“No! You don’t know him like I do, Rika. He is very smart-too smart-and he’s just toying with me. I know it! And he’s just waiting until I get into a precarious situation and start babbling things that don’t make any sense and I turn into some kind of lovestruck school girl.”
“So…you should really give him a piece of your mind.” There was a gleam in her eye that Sakura missed as she paced the room in a frenzy of thought and anger.
“Yes! Yes I should. This is ridiculous. Who does he think he is?”
“I don’t know, Sakura-san.”
“Of all people, I should know about this.”
“Definitely.”
Sakura stopped pacing and looked at Rika. “Are you just agreeing with me for the sake of agreeing with me?”
Rika put her hands up in defense. “No, no! Actually-weren’t you supposed to meet Kakashi-san for a drink?”
Sakura’s hand flew up to her face. “Shit, you’re right. Oh, man, he’s gonna get it!” She marched over to her desk and pulled on the cardigan that hung on the back of her desk chair.
“That’s right,” Rika encouraged, pumping her fist in the air.
Sakura left in a huff, mumbling things along the lines as “That jerk doesn’t even know what’s coming” and “That pretty face of his’ll need to stay covered as soon as I’m done with him.”
The door slammed behind her, and Rika sighed, a small smile on her lips.
That was easy enough.
tbc
Author: a_lifestyle
Fandom: Naruto (Kakashi/Sakura)
Rating: R (Language, lulz.)
Words: 5,486
Summary:
So, I'm very sorry, but I tried to pack everything into one last chapter as planned, but it was just too hefty so...I'm a big fat liar, and this will be in four parts instead of three. Please forgive me! I've decided to make it up with a smutty one-shot I've been playing around with for a few days. That'll be up soon, too, as well as the last part of Office Duties (I promise, it's the last part, for reals). Enjoy!
Office Duties
Part Three
As an apology, Sakura agreed to buy Genma a drink, and they left directly for the pub after her shift at the hospital, in spite of the complaints of her current state (bloody scrubs, sexy). As they sat down, Sakura noted that she had shown up to the bar nearly every night since Naruto had taken office; the shots were going down smoothly, and beer was strangely starting to taste like water.
“Genma, I think I’m an alcoholic,” she mused, taking a seat at the corner table that was usually reserved for her and her ex-sensei.
“Well,” he said, motioning to the bartender. “Whether you are or not can be easily determined over a drink. You up for sake tonight?”
“What’s the occasion?” she asked, mentally balancing her bank account.
“Oh, well, this dear friend of yours is leaving on a terribly dangerous mission tomorrow, leaving you, my sweet damsel, to do nothing but sit and await my return.”
“The stress is just unbearable.” She thanked the bartender when their sake arrived. “Kakashi seems to think you’ll be sitting around with your thumbs up your asses.”
Genma poured a round for he and the Hokage’s assistant, who sat slumped over the table, head resting in her hands. He lifted his glass in the air, and she raised an eyebrow.
“To what should we toast tonight, sweetheart?” he asked.
She snorted. “To Mr. Ukki.”
It was Genma’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “Kakashi’s plant?”
“No. My plant now. I hijacked it when Kakashi almost killed it. It’s a freaking cactus, Genma. Thought to be totally un-killable.”
“Kakashi’s got some talent.”
“But, the way it is, Mr. Ukki’s the only thing in my life that doesn’t make me want to throw myself out a window. A very, very high window.”
“Fair enough. I get to make a toast, too.”
“Well, if you’re just gonna go ahead and make the rules now, too-“
“To Rika-san.”
Sakura slammed her head down on the table. “I have gone almost three whole hours without hearing that name, and you just have to go and-“
“It’s karma, Sakura. If you talk or think ill of someone, throw a toast in their name and you won’t be horribly punished later on.”
“I think whoever’s in charge of dishing out the karma has started early.” She stared at his blissfully moronic expression and sighed heavily, lifting her glass. “Fine. To Rika. May your jugs always be bouncy and your head stay attached to your body, for your own sake.”
“Ah. That’s the spirit.” They drank, the sake warming her belly. Genma slammed his glass down and began to pour them another round. His head began to feel a bit fuzzy-admitting quietly to himself that he was getting older-and he felt a pang of sympathy for the beautiful girl in front of him with the health of a woman twice her age. No shinobi expected this chosen life to be a cakewalk, but it had been particularly hard on Sakura who had to battle extraordinarily high expectations since the day she was teamed with the Uchiha and the Nine-Tails.
“Cheer up, sunshine. It’s the weekend, and you won’t have to be anywhere near the tower til’ Monday.”
Sakura smiled. He was certainly making a valiant effort. “Thanks, Genma. Whether you’re being nice because you empathize with my pain or because I’m picking up the tab, I thank you nonetheless for your attempts to make me not want to stab myself in the face with a scalpel.”
He grinned, and they clinked glasses once again. “My pleasure.” He brought the glass to his lips, and his smile suddenly fell, his eyes widening as Kakashi and Rika entered the pub, taking a seat at the far end of the bar.
“Ah, shit.”
Sakura’s head tilted back with her drink. She opened her eyes, head upside-down, and nearly dropped her glass.
Oh. Oh. Of course. Her eyes shot back to Genma, pleading.
“Why, Genma? I am a good, good person-”
He patted her shoulder as he poured her another. Quickly. “I know, I know-“
“All I wanted was to just come here with you, my good friend, and have a couple drinks and not think about anything to do with work, ever. Or at least until Monday.”
“I know, I know-“
“And look who’s here. And who she’s with. I don’t even know who to be mad at, Dumb or Dumber.”
“Who is who?”
“I can’t even decide.”
“Ah, point taken. Well, I wouldn’t read too much into it-“
“There’s nothing to interpret; it’s pretty obvious, isn’t it?” She threw back another glass and held it out for Genma to refill, which he did, like his life depended on it. Because it did. “Kakashi’s macking it on Rika, who he knows is, like, the bane of my existence, and therefore wants to punish me for something, and wow, this sake is tasty.”
Genma bit his bottom lip as Sakura began to reach for the entire bottle and glanced over at the couple in the opposite corner in deep conversation interspersed with Rika’s laughter. “It’s probably nothing. Business.”
Sakura coughed. “Business. Are you serious?”
“Yeah, I guess that was a pretty lame excuse, sorry.”
“Ugh. Whatever.” Sakura peeked over her shoulder at Kakashi, who hadn’t taken down his mask, but his eye crinkled in a way that made Sakura’s face hot-and not in the drunk, obliviously happy way. She leaned forward, resting her head on the edge of the table. “Tell me when they start making out so I can make my exit.”
“Kakashi’s not like that-“
“Like hell he’s not. One time, we were on a mission and said we ‘had to split up’ because the mission required several lookout points. Naruto left his post to take a piss and Kakashi was screwing some maid at the inn we were staying at. In our bathroom. We were twelve, Genma. Twelve.”
Genma took in a long breath. Why he couldn’t just have a nice drink with a pretty girl was beyond him. Especially when said pretty girl was face down on the table and most likely feeling a bit shitty about herself. Genma had been around a number of women in his lifetime, and learned that nothing simultaneously induced panic and perplexity quite like a depressed, drunk girl.
Not to mention, if he (accidentally, or not) managed to piss of this particular girl, he would immediately get a fist of a thousand furies to the face.
He waited for several minutes for her to engage with him in conversation again, but her face remained on the table. Although, he did notice a visible twitch whenever Rika’s laughter rang throughout the pub.
“I think now is a fantastic time to leave,” Genma said carefully, after twenty minutes or so had passed.
“That would be a good idea, I think,” Sakura mumbled to the table. Without taking her forehead off the surface, she dug her hands into her purse and slid some money underneath the empty sake bottle.
“Come on, let’s ninja out of here,” Genma said, holding out his arms.
“No, I can do this myself,” Sakura assured him as she planted her hand on the table for leverage.
Only, she misjudged the location of the table, and flew into the floor.
“Damniiiit,” she cursed, side of her cheek resting on the wood. At least it was cool.
“Oh, boy,” Genma sighed, leaning over and offering his hand. The bartender, alerted by the rather noisy commotion, peered over the bar.
“Ninjas…” he muttered, shaking his head and resuming his work.
“The hell’s it to you, old man?!” Genma shot back, perturbed.
“Genma, why’dja go and move the goddamn table all the way over there?” Sakura whined, still immobile. She sniffled, then sneezed. “God, this floor is filthy.”
“For the love of Lucy, get up, then!” Genma cried desperately, gesticulating wildly.
“I would, but I don’t want to touch the floor!”
“If you haven’t noticed, babe, you are lying on it.”
“This is all your fault. Somehow, this is all your fault.”
“When I said I could drink you under the table, I didn’t mean for you take it literally-“
“Oh, just wait, Shiranui. If I ever figure out where my bones went, I swear to god-“
“Need a hand?” came a familiar voice.
Sakura peered through the eye not on the floor. An outstretched hand of a silver-haired shinobi hovered in her sight, and she grumbled, turning her head the other way.
“Hello, Kakashi,” Sakura greeted the wall. “Fancy meeting you here. Genma and I were just leaving.”
“Sakura-san!” Rika chimed in, to Sakura’s utter delight. “Do you want some water? I hear drinking lots of water prevents hangovers-“
“I’m not drunk!” Sakura insisted, and she rolled over, sitting up and slamming her head on the underside of the table.
“Owww,” she moaned, flopping back on the floor.
“All right, Sakura,” Kakashi leaned in and hoisted her up to a standing position. Sakura breathed in his shirt, and happened upon a moment of clarity as to where she was, what exactly was going on, and whom precisely she was with.
Her face became hot and she pushed Kakashi away from her. She backed into the table, leaning on it as she attempted to be casual, holding her head high.
“Thank you,” she mumbled, almost inaudible, smiling with her teeth. She looked up through her bangs that currently sagged in front of her eyes and saw Kakashi staring at her; his head tilted a bit, arms out in case she bowled over again. Rika stood behind him, hand on his shoulder, peering down at Sakura with concern.
They both looked so…concerned.
Her anger flared again, suddenly. She wasn’t going to be the desperate one. This was all so stupid. Kakashi was the pathetic one. It was beyond her why he’d ditch her and bring Rika to the bar instead, and it infuriated her to a level she didn’t understand. Which, in turn, made her more angry that she didn’t understand herself in the first place. She was just fine, thank you very much! She smoothed out her skirt and inhaled sharply, quickly adverting her eyes away from the two dolts in front of her.
“Let’s go, Genma,” Sakura said, grabbing his hand and leading him out the door.
Genma threw Kakashi one last “what the fuck?” look before being dragged out of the bar. Kakashi’s eyebrows furrowed.
“I hope Sakura-san is okay,” Rika said, once they had watched the two exit.
“She’ll be fine,” Kakashi said. “I’ve seen her worse.” He stood fully and lightly pressed her lower back. “I’ll walk you home.”
Rika giggled. “My parents live right across the street.”
“Chivalry wasn’t dead, last time I checked.”
Kakashi paid the tab (twice in a week-maybe he was becoming a pushover) and walked out of the bar with Rika beside him. The cool air felt nice on his face, but his mask stayed on.
Twenty yards down the street, they arrived at a modest apartment, marked 107, the “7” barely hanging on by a single screw.
“Well, thanks for everything, Kakashi-san,” Rika said, smiling. “We’ll see you back soon, and with a full, detailed mission report, right?”
“Footnotes and everything, “ Kakashi smirked. He nodded. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight!” She quietly entered and closed the door behind her, careful not to wake her parents.
Kakashi stepped down from the small stair and walked out onto the street. His thoughts strayed from that night to the next morning. He needed to shower, pack, leave food out for Pakkun (that freeloader), clean the bathroom-
His heart stopped when he heard a shriek in the distance. He squinted ahead to see two figures in the distance. One was on the ground, ass in the air, the other flailing about wildly.
Chuckling to himself, he made note to also leave two aspirin and a bottle of water by Sakura’s window sill before they left Konoha.
Meanwhile, the side of Sakura’s face had met the ground once more, and Genma picked her up easily, throwing her over her shoulder.
“Can do it all by yourself, huh?” he jabbed.
“Did anyone else see that besides you?” she asked the back of Genma’s jounin vest.
“Nope, I’m just lucky enough to be the only witness.”
“Okay, good, because that just took everything out of me not to fly ass over elbows in front of them. Again.”
Genma laughed lightly. “Hang on.”
Flying over rooftops (to Sakura’s stomach’s horror), he carried her the short distance to her apartment, landing by her bedroom window with ease. He laid her out on the bed and began to take her shoes off.
“How th’fuck did you get those strappy things off so fast?” Sakura mumbled, already half asleep.
“Practice.” He laid her socks next to her shoes at the foot of the bed, pulling a coversheet over her.
“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” Sakura asked.
“I haven’t decided.” He leaned in to fluff the pillow behind her head. From this angle, the moonlight glazed her hair in silver tones and covered her face in a pale sheet, and for a moment she wasn’t the brat that had hung around Kakashi for the past dozen years. He recognized this as he took a moment to watch sleep overtake her deceivingly fragile frame.
“If you even lay one finger on me, I’ll have Kakashi pee in your canteen.”
“A man can’t get a break, can he?” He laughed and walked towards the window. He stopped with a hand came down on his.
“Thanks, Genma. Please don’t tell me about any of this tomorrow. Or, ever.”
A smile couldn’t help but tug the corners of his mouth. “Goodnight, Pinky.”
Her face screwed up at the abhorred nickname, but she was too tired to move an inch. Genma waited until she was good and drooling before leaving, closing the window latch carefully.
----------
A week later, Friday had arrived once more, and Sakura was quickly finishing things up at the office so that she could meet up with Kakashi for a drink. Since he had returned from his mission (two days, thumbs up asses, check, check), Sakura’s schedule had been so hectic that it was the only time that week she could manage to see him. Between emergency surgeries and the extra work that had come up when Naruto had come down with the flu (seriously-the Nine Tails. With the flu. What the hell.), Sakura had called out of her late evening shift at the hospital and she was home free.
She was about to punch her time card when she realized that she hadn’t checked the mail that day. Pushing her bangs out of her face, she descended the stairs to the mailroom one last time to collect today’s correspondence.
Things had been just as peachy as they always had been with Rika, so when Sakura entered the mailroom to see the blonde wobbling in her heels with an armful of mail, her right eye began that all-too-familiar twitch.
“Hi, Rika,” Sakura managed through her teeth.
Startled, Rika jumped, losing her grip on the piles of letters.
“Oh, good afternoon, Sakura-san-oohhh!!!”
The mail slid through her arms and fell to the floor, a few stray letters floating to the ground in its wake. Sakura inhaled. Deeply. She stooped to begin picking it all up, Rika apologizing fast and furiously behind her, stuffing letters into her cleavage (ugh) and pockets frantically.
“Oh, god, I’m so sorry!” Rika yelped, scooping up a small package in her arms.
“It’s fine,” Sakura snipped. God, her back ached.
“I just remembered that we hadn’t gotten the mail today after Naruto-sama’s lunch, because he got so sick suddenly-“
“Uh-huh…” Sakura mumbled, half-listening. Or, not at all, really. She picked up a familiar letter in a yellow envelope, its address she had carefully printed with blue ink scratched out with dark ink, the word “Return to Sender,” in all capitals.
Hm. She opened the letter, general “uh-huh”ing at Rika’s constant chatter ensuing.
“And then I told Naruto-sama that there was no way it could have been the onigiri, because both you and I had had at least two each and we weren’t sick at all…”
As Rika continued gathering the rest of the mail, Sakura opened the letter, a small post-it note inside with perfect block lettering on which read:
Haruno-san: While I appreciate thank yous in many forms, I’m afraid this one in particular was ill-directed. Nice clip, though. -Ibiki.
Sakura peered into the envelope to find a letter, attached with a single pink paper clip.
That’s weird. If Ibiki received Gaara-sama’s letter, then-
Oh.
“Rika,” Sakura said slowly, the pieces coming together. Unfortunately.
She stopped her frantic movements to address Sakura. “Yes, Sakura-san?”
“Rika, do you remember when I asked you to send this letter?”
Sakura held it up between two fingers. Rika squinted, then nodded enthusiastically.
“Yes! I remember! It was a letter to the Kazekage!”
Sakura closed her eyes. “And do you remember the other letter I asked you to send on that same day? It was kind of hefty-but similar envelope?”
Rika’s eyes crossed in her efforts to remember-or maybe she was just looking at her bangs, either way-then cocked her head to the side.
“It was to Morino Ibiki,” Sakura continued, through gritted teeth. “I asked you to label it, ‘Confidential.’ As in, it’s secret. As in, it contains information for Morino Ibiki’s eyes only and if it got into someone else’s hands, my ass would be on the line?”
She paused, and then her eyes lit up in sudden realization. “I remember.”
Sakura held up the letter once more. “Pink paper clip. Gaara-sama. Confidential letter. Ibiki-san. That’s what I said, right?”
Rika nodded slowly, coming to terms with the fact that she most likely made a very large error that was causing Sakura’s body to convulse rather intensely. And probably not out of glee.
“Well. I just got a letter returned to me. The letter for Gaara-sama. But it wasn’t returned to me from Suna. Could you take a wild guess and tell me who received the letter with the pink. Paper. Clip!?”
The blonde winced. “…um…Morino-san?” she squeaked.
“That’s right, Rika. Very smart of you. And now, could you venture a guess as to the location of the extremely confidential files that needed to be send to Morino-san?”
Tears began to well in Rika’s eyes. “To Suna?”
Sakura’s hands began to shake. “Right again, Rika. Information about Konoha’s classified interrogation techniques are on their way, if not already there, to the leader of Suna. Although we are in peaceful times, can you see how this would be a problem?”
“Sakura-san, it was a mistake-“ Rika began.
Sakura laughed, throwing the letter on the ground. “Obviously. It was a big fucking mistake, Rika. And you know who’s going to get nailed for it?” Sakura pointed to her chest. “Me. It’s going to be my fault for something my subordinate did. You didn’t think about the implications of this mistake, did you?”
“But-but, Sakura-san, like you said, the envelopes were very similar, and I did my best to make sure that they were separate-“
Sakura slammed her hand on the mailroom table, letters flying everywhere. “Tell me you’re joking.”
She took one look at Rika’s teary, unwavering guilty expression and knew it was anything but.
“I’m so, so sorry, Sakura-san-“ Rika began, voice trembling.
“Stop,” Sakura said firmly, lips pressing together into a thin line. She slumped over, her anger boiling and making her whole body hot, her temples pulsating. “Just. Just don’t say anything.”
“Please, Sakura-san, I didn’t mean-“
“I’m sure you didn’t mean anything. You never mean anything. You aren’t ever anything, I know, I know!” She was furious, and blood shot to her head, a headache bulleting through her brain. “Rika, it’s been two months, and you just can’t make mistakes like this! I don’t know if we can keep you here anymore; it’s just not working out.”
The two stood there, staring at each other, the mail lying in a disorganized pile between them. Sakura expected Rika to either burst into tears or run away, or hopefully a combination of both; she did not expect Rika to slap her across the face.
“Ow!” Sakura cried, taking a step back. She was too surprised to move, standing still while the tall girl loomed over her.
“Sakura-san,” Rika began, her voice wavering slightly, gaining confidence as she continued. “I have done everything in my power to do whatever you and Naruto-sama ask, because that is my new job. I just ran my parent’s takoyaki stand because that’s all I could really do. My parents couldn’t afford fancy universities, or any university. When they found out I was working for the Hokage, they were so proud of me. That never happened before. I want this job more than anything. You’ve never seen me do anything wrong before, and I don’t know why you would fire anyone after only one mistake. It was a big, big mistake, and I am so sorry, I really, really am.”
Sakura stared. Her mind flipped through the past two months, and she had to admit, even though Rika annoyed the shit out of her, and her boobs were always on display, and she did slam Sakura’s head into the door by accident, she had never actually done anything wrong. Her paperwork was a little sloppy, but always thorough, she was never late, and she even knew how Sakura liked her coffee.
“And I know,” Rika continued. “I know you hate me. I don’t know why you hate me, but I knew that you always did.”
“Well, um, hate is a very strong word, Rika-” Sakura started.
“Kakashi-san told me himself that you despise me,” she said quickliy.
“…oh.” God damn that old man, Sakura thought. She made a mental note to accidently slam his balls into a table or something of equivalent discomfort next time she saw him.
“It’s okay though,” Rika said. “That’s why I asked Kakashi-san to talk to me that night you-you, um…”
“…made out with the floor?” Sakura finished.
“Yeah.” Rika broke the stare, and bent her head, looking down at her hands that fiddled with the chipping polish of her nails. “Naruto-sama said that you and Kakashi were very close, and I thought that the one person who could help me figure out a way for you to like me was him. I had tried just about everything I could think of.” Tears started to run down her face.
Sakura’s face fell. This wasn’t the way she thought things would happen; Rika was crying, and she felt like absolute shit about it.
“I’m so sorry, Sakura-san!,” Rika continued through quiet sobs. “And I’m sorry I just hit you, I’m so, so sorry! I just love this job, and you’re firing me just because I’m not as smart, or as pretty as you, and you hate me, and it’s not right! It’s not right at all!”
Well. That “not as pretty bit” was news to Sakura. She took her hand from her face and stepped towards Rika, putting her hand on her shoulder. “Listen. I obviously made a mistake, too. And our two mistakes just cancelled each other out, and now there’s none. Nothing. Let’s just forget anything happened. Okay?”
Rika nodded and blew her nose into a bill from the power company (they overcharge, anyway). “Okay.”
“I’ll call Gaara-sama in the morning and explain things, and Ibiki will hopefully be generous and not draw and quarter me. Problem solved.” Sakura took a deep breath and attempted a smile, which somewhat resembled a pained expression. It was the effort that counted, right? “You’re not fired, Rika.”
Rika beamed and wiped her eyes, smudging eyeliner on her brow. “Really?”
“Yes, really.”
Rika clotheslined Sakura with a hug and she began jumping up and down simultaneously, jostling mail everywhichwhere. “Thank you so much, Sakura-san!”
“No problem,” Sakura wheezed. “The choke-hold’s a little much, though, Rika.”
Rika let go and grinned sheepishly. “Sorry. And, um, again…I’m sorry about the slap.”
“It’s all right. I’m a ninja; I should’ve avoided that.”
“I was a little surprised, I have to admit.”
They shared a small laugh, and Sakura sighed, overlooking the pile of mail. “Let’s get the mail up to the office. And then, I need a drink.”
Rika smiled and reached into her purse. “Actually, remember when I said I asked Kakashi-san about getting you on my good side?” She pulled a bottle of barrel-aged sake from her purse. The good kind. The kind that Sakura could slam down and feel like a superhero for the night.
“This is my favorite!” Sakura said, holding the bottle in disbelief.
“He said that even if you still hated me, at least you’d be drunk enough to forget for a little while.”
Sakura cradled the bottle like a baby (a beautiful, potent baby). “He knows me well.”
----------
One bottle of superhero power-enducing sake later, Sakura and Rika sat on the floor of the Hokage’s office, shoes off and laughing at a joke, most likely forgetting why it was funny or who told it in the first place. Rika leaned in close to Sakura suddenly.
“I know we’re friends and everything now, but please don’t make out with me,” Sakura said, suppressing giggles. “My last dry spell ended in a tumble with Ino, and she’s definitely the jealous type.”
Rika laughed in a barking kind of way that was actually pretty endearing. “Sakura-san, I need to confess something to you!”
“Listen, just a minute ago, you said I was pretty and smart, and I don’t know if my fragile heart can handle all this adoration-“
“Sakura-san, I’m serious!” She leaned in to whisper in Sakura’s ear, in spite of the fact that they were the only two left in the building except the Hokage himself (who was most likely laid out in bed with his stomach pooching out and a half-eaten bowl of ramen on the nightstand). “I think I have feelings for Naruto-sama.”
Sakura’s cheeks blew up, her mouth closed tight and eyes wide open, a vain attempt to hold in her laughter. She quickly glanced over at Rika to make sure she wasn’t joking and then burst into uncontrollable giggles.
“Naruto?!” Sakura said incredulously. “Are you serious?”
Rika’s face fell into a rather pathetic and desperate expression.
“…sorry,” Sakura mumbled, clearing her throat and maintaining her composure. Or trying to. “Well, uh, does he know that you like him…like that?”
Rika shook her head. “I’ve tried giving him…signals, but it doesn’t seem to be working very well.”
“Uh, well…what kind of ‘signals’ are you sending? He’s not the most, uh, receptive person, you know.”
“Well…how do you get a someone’s attention?”
“Um. ‘Hey!’ and general wild flailing usually work.”
“You know what I mean! There’s, like, certain things you do when you wanna flirt with someone.”
Sakura sighed and looked at Rika blankly. “Rika, my usual company is a ramen-obsessed Hokage, a horny, orally-fixated old man, and an anti-social, one-eyed, no-faced porn reader. And people wonder why I’m single.”
Rika laughed, and quickly covered her mouth. “I’m sorry, that was mean of me.”
“No offense taken. Anyway, the most effective way to get Naruto to understand that you have feelings for him is to tell him directly. He’s, um…distracted pretty often, and may not realize unless you just let him know yourself. Believe me, he’ll probably be thrilled.”
Rika nodded slowly in understanding. “Okay. I think I could do that.” She suddenly sat back down against the wall and started snickering.
Sakura raised an eyebrow. “To what, may I ask, are you sniggering at, Rika-san?”
The blonde twirled her hair around her finger. “Oh, I was just wondering when you were going to confess your feelings to Kakashi-san.”
Sakura bolted off the floor and spun to face Rika in horror (which was all a very impressive move, when the floor and ceiling and walls melted together in her eyeballs). “What the hell did he say to you?”
Rika shrieked in delight. “So you do have feelings for him! I was just guessing.”
Sakura’s mouth opened and closed. “I have no such feelings. I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t care about any of this! This is why I don’t have any girl friends; it’s all talk about boys and giggling and naked pillow fights and-“
“Well, maybe you’d like to know what Kakashi-san thinks of you?” Rika baited.
Sakura was hooked. She stopped talking, stopped waving her arms around. She pursed her lips and crouched down in front of Rika. “Go on,” she said slowly.
Rika smiled, her eyes practically glittering. “Well, you know how I asked him to help me be likeable to you?”
“Apparently, all it takes is a bottle of sake to get the ball rolling-“
“Shh! Sakura-san, he said that he thought that you may have felt a little…um…” she looked away suddently. “Threatened. By me.”
Sakura’s face fell. “Cold, Kakashi. Very cold.”
“But! I said that couldn’t possibly be true. And he said, and I quote, ‘Sakura doesn’t know how beautiful she actually is.’”
She pushed her pink hair out of her face, and gave Rika a look. “You’re not fucking with me, right?”
“No, Sakura-san.”
“So, you think that Kakashi has feelings for me? Signals, and everything?”
“Yes. I’ve been good at this my whole life.”
“How old are you, Rika?”
“Seventeen.”
“…Right.” Sakura sat down and contemplated this new information. There was a possibility that Kakashi cared about her in…in this way that included romantic lovey-dovey things that Ino had talked to her about at some point but she had neglected to care about when there were so many new poisons to create antidotes for. She supposed the thought of Kakashi and her in this way didn’t make her feel sick or strange, and that was a plus.
But what it also meant was that Kakashi had failed to mention to her that he felt this way. They had made a pact as mission partners that they would be direct and disclose everything to each other, and this definitely fell under the “things-Sakura-needs-to-know” category. Which meant, essentially, Kakashi had failed to uphold the pact, and purposely made her out to be a floundering idiot, what, with his offhand remarks that made her blush like a moron and his annoying unexpected hug from behind that made her heart beat through her chest. He was making her look like an idiot! On purpose!
Sakura was ticked. “That ass is going to be in trouble next time I see him.”
“Well,” Rika said, backing away. “That’s usually not the reaction when someone realizes that the person that they really care about feels the same way-“
“He’s making me out to be a fool, and what’s worse, he’s getting away with it.” Sakura stood and her head spun deliciously.
“I don’t think that-“
“No! This is just the kind of thing that he would do!” She crossed her arms and looked towards the ceiling contemplatively. “That conniving son of a-“
“Ah, Sakura-san-“
“No! You don’t know him like I do, Rika. He is very smart-too smart-and he’s just toying with me. I know it! And he’s just waiting until I get into a precarious situation and start babbling things that don’t make any sense and I turn into some kind of lovestruck school girl.”
“So…you should really give him a piece of your mind.” There was a gleam in her eye that Sakura missed as she paced the room in a frenzy of thought and anger.
“Yes! Yes I should. This is ridiculous. Who does he think he is?”
“I don’t know, Sakura-san.”
“Of all people, I should know about this.”
“Definitely.”
Sakura stopped pacing and looked at Rika. “Are you just agreeing with me for the sake of agreeing with me?”
Rika put her hands up in defense. “No, no! Actually-weren’t you supposed to meet Kakashi-san for a drink?”
Sakura’s hand flew up to her face. “Shit, you’re right. Oh, man, he’s gonna get it!” She marched over to her desk and pulled on the cardigan that hung on the back of her desk chair.
“That’s right,” Rika encouraged, pumping her fist in the air.
Sakura left in a huff, mumbling things along the lines as “That jerk doesn’t even know what’s coming” and “That pretty face of his’ll need to stay covered as soon as I’m done with him.”
The door slammed behind her, and Rika sighed, a small smile on her lips.
That was easy enough.
tbc