Comfort in the Caves

[a_mere_child]

It took three and a half hours to get the displaced residents of White Forest settled in at Druid Cave. They haven't moved the Borealis yet; it's getting dark and there's enough snow falling to conceal the boat effectively for the night. Also, though Alyx would never willingly admit it, she's just too damn tired to think about moving the damn boat

Comments

[a_mere_child]

"Yes, please," says Alyx. "I've never had rabbit befo--"

It comes on in a sudden rush; horror, longing, desperate hope reaching out to her from hundreds of miles away...

Her fork drops from her fingers and clatters against the plate.

"Gordon?"

[a_mere_child]

A wry smile. "No offense, ma'am, but I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks so."

[remindmeof_me]

"None taken," says Kate, unperturbed. "Boy's got a mind like a pit bull. Soon as he gits hold of an idea he likes he clamps down on it and you ain't gonna git him to let go without one hell of a pry bar. Least he was like that last I saw of him, I dunno 'bout now."

[a_mere_child]

"He's trying to singlehandedly revive the Marine Corps."

Does that answer your question?

[remindmeof_me]

"Damn." Kate sips her coffee. "That's... remind me come tomorrow morning I got to go find Canada Joe and tell him he ain't the craziest man I know any more, okay?"

[a_mere_child]

"...wait. Canada Joe is an actual person?"

[remindmeof_me]

Kate blows a sigh over the surface of her cup. "'Fraid so. Joe Fitzsimmons. White water rafter par excellence. Man came down here from Ontario right the year before Black Mesa so's he could invest in the campgrounds down by the riverbend- wanted to get in on the rapids races we used to have every year. Did a good job with the place, but he wound up tryin' to shoot the rapids along with everyone else, 'n let's just say his skull didn't really like him a whole lot no more after they fished him out of the water. He ain't been quite right in the head since. Keeps tryin' to git the town council to petition Ottawa for a Mountie detachment, and that's on the good days."

[a_mere_child]

"...I think he has your son beat," says Alyx after a moment's boggling. "Corporal Shephard might be setting his hopes a little high, but he's not delusional."

[remindmeof_me]

Kate makes a noncommittal noise. "Been a good twenty years since I saw him last," she allows. "Might be he's stubborn enough to do it'n I'm just coloring it with my own memories. I dunno. It's tough enough makin' sure this place'n these folks hold together, and that's just workin' off a structure that's already there. Starting from scratch, workin' up from just me... I dunno that I could do that."

[a_mere_child]

Alyx falls silent, staring down at her plate again, not really sure what to say.

[remindmeof_me]

There's a sigh from the other side of the table. Kate says, "Alyx? You mind if I call you that?"

[a_mere_child]

"Hm?" Alyx looks up. "Yeah, it's fine..."

[remindmeof_me]

"All right, then." Kate sets her cup aside. "I might be talkin' out my hat here, but I do believe I've seen the look you're wearin' before on more faces'n I care to think about. You'n yours got socked in the teeth today, and now you're somewhere you don't know, talkin' to someone you don't know, feelin' like you ought to be doin' something, only you don't know what. And you might normally be stubborn as my idiot son, but you got a part of you just don't want to deal with things no more'n maybe it's sayin' you're in over your head, why don't you just give up. Only you can't, 'cause it ain't just you that you got to keep your head up for. Am I right?"

[a_mere_child]

( "I need the bad stuff to not happen for a while," Ellen murmurs. "I don't- I don't even- the- I don't even need... need good stuff. I just... no more bad stuff. Not for a while. Please?" )

Alyx nods, looking down again so Kate won't see the tears welling up.

[remindmeof_me]

"Then you need to take a real deep breath," says Kate, "and let it out, and understand that that's okay. Your people're just as human as you are. You havin' to stop'n rest'n fall back on someone else once in a while ain't weakness. It's understanding what your people're goin' through. Means you ain't gonna ask more of them than they can bear up under, because you know how bad it gets. You just take your time'n pull yourself together, instead of running yourself into the ground. It'll be better for them, 'n it'll be better for you. And there ain't nothing wrong with it. Nothing at all."

[a_mere_child]

Alyx takes a deep breath and exhales a long, shuddering sigh.

"I just feel so useless..."