(no subject)
In an assignment on what keeps me awake at night, I did not know what I should write.
So I ask myself
Should I mention stress from school?
Or how I don’t know what I’ll do once this year is done.
Maybe my fear of being alone.
Would that be too embarrassing, or too open; what’s a Victoria without secrets right?
So many questions run through my mind
Maybe it will be too generic, my fears aren’t anything special.
Maybe I can make it really good… somehow
Comedic or metaphorical or… something.
Am I creative enough? Is there enough time?
Because not knowing what I can allow myself to write has kept me up until the middle of the night.
The questions keep me awake.
I’ve waited too long - How did I do that?
How can I lay allowing myself to get closer to the place in sleep with no worries.
Where I don’t feel lonely, afraid, or ashamed.
A place with only answers.
Where I know what I want to do with my life.
What I want to write.
Then I wonder why some part of me fighting against the comfort of the night.
Still no answer.
Author's Notes
This was as the first line suggest an English assignment, senior year, where we had to write about dragons that kept us up. I forgot about it, then woke up at 2AM the morning it was due, slightly worried, and since that's what was keeping me awake I decided to run with it, I wrote in maybe twenty minutes, and didn't have time to grammar check and edit it. Still haven't, it's not perfect, it could be decent with some revision but I don't think I'll get around to it.
So I ask myself
Should I mention stress from school?
Or how I don’t know what I’ll do once this year is done.
Maybe my fear of being alone.
Would that be too embarrassing, or too open; what’s a Victoria without secrets right?
So many questions run through my mind
Maybe it will be too generic, my fears aren’t anything special.
Maybe I can make it really good… somehow
Comedic or metaphorical or… something.
Am I creative enough? Is there enough time?
Because not knowing what I can allow myself to write has kept me up until the middle of the night.
The questions keep me awake.
I’ve waited too long - How did I do that?
How can I lay allowing myself to get closer to the place in sleep with no worries.
Where I don’t feel lonely, afraid, or ashamed.
A place with only answers.
Where I know what I want to do with my life.
What I want to write.
Then I wonder why some part of me fighting against the comfort of the night.
Still no answer.
Author's Notes
This was as the first line suggest an English assignment, senior year, where we had to write about dragons that kept us up. I forgot about it, then woke up at 2AM the morning it was due, slightly worried, and since that's what was keeping me awake I decided to run with it, I wrote in maybe twenty minutes, and didn't have time to grammar check and edit it. Still haven't, it's not perfect, it could be decent with some revision but I don't think I'll get around to it.