Lame ass poem yet again (god, I need to learn to right them again)

[a_crimson_tear]

Drift by me and I'll merely step away

Comments

ok this is the part..

[kissoffire]

..where i critique your writing.
and i cant'...dammit.
i mean speechlessness is all i have.
except im not totally sure what the hell a 'figmented breath' is. maybe fermented. but yeah you have poetic license to say whatever the hell you want so dont let me stop you from making sense.
but damn. if i told you i have tears begging to escape my eyes..would you believe me?

Re: ok this is the part..

[a_crimson_tear]

Shut up, you're 10x better at poetry than me and you know it. I realized later that "figment" cant be used in past tense, lol, it was really early in the morning, so my grammar skills decided to shit on my head

Re: ok this is the part..

[a_crimson_tear]

Oh yeah, and "your" in the the last line should have been "you're" yay grammar!

hmm

[kissoffire]

shud dup.
oh hey read my shit and tell me your thoughts.
its less poetic than it is desparate..but still i think you might appreciate my last few posts. might.

poem or something like it

[evilpinataco]

swallow is a good song...um the poem was interesting too makes me wonder why your grades suck

Re: poem or something like it

[a_crimson_tear]

lack
of
work
turned
in

Re: poem or something like it

[l3tsplaydr3ssup]

u 'tard.....do ur work and turn it in

Re: poem or something like it

[a_crimson_tear]

but then i wouldnt be a tard =/

[anonymous]

Pretty! Im glad you finally decided to let so many people read your poems, and I agree with Dan, you're a fucking awesome writer :)