大失敗劇! ヒョギ誕生日だってばよ!!
rating: g
pairings: none
wc: 614
so i've started doing writing prompts with my friends on ask.fm. the prompt was "spectacularly shitty movies" and the title is a play on 大活劇! 雪姫忍法帖だってばよ!! which is the name of the first naruto movie. everything about this is stupid.
it's bad.
as idols, they've learned to put up with a lot, to handle humiliation and second-hand embarrassment and all forms of awkward, uncomfortable situations in a professional manner.
but it's really, really bad.
hakyeon checks his phone for what must be the fiftieth time, only to be continuously disappointed by a twitter feed that refuses to update with any distractions. beside him, hongbin has his head buried in his hands, watching through the gaps in his fingers much like one watches a horrific accident that they'd rather not see, but can't bring themselves to look away from. jaehwan seems to have mentally checked out to another plane entirely, having been staring at the same spot on the wall without blinking for the last ten minutes, and even taekwoon, who could sit statuesque through the apocalypse, is struggling to keep his discomfort from seeping through into his expression. wonshik, for his part, is just trying his best not to claw his own face off.
"ore no nindou! dattebayo!" sanghyuk shouts at the tv, clapping excitedly. behind him, everyone writhes on the couch. it's sanghyuk's birthday and he wanted to watch the naruto movie. more specifically, he wanted to watch every naruto movie.
they're currently three-fourths of the way through the first one.
wonshik is the first to break, slapping hongbin's thigh over and over in a convulsive fit until the visual shoves his head, knocking it into jaehwan's and jarring him from his trance. he rubs his cheek and, realizing the movie is still going, looks helplessly at wonshik, who looks at hongbin, who looks at hakyeon (they skip over taekwoon, because none of them are cruel enough to force the vocalist to break a child's heart). hakyeon, through a combination of silent delegation and bullying conveyed via raised eyebrows and bared teeth, pushes the unsavory duty back on wonshik, who groans before tentatively addressing the maknae.
"uh... hyukkie?"
sanghyuk doesn't hear him, enamored by the glow of the legendary rainbow chakras. wonshik clears his throat and tries again.
"sanghyuk-ah."
sanghyuk turns, the cheap metal of his leaf-nin headband shining almost as brightly as his big, hopeful eyes, and wonshik feels like the lowest scum on the planet.
"i, uh... i know it's your birthday, and i know you really wanted to watch this with us, but, you know... we're, um... hyungs are pretty tired? so, i dunno, maybe we could, like... not. right now."
sanghyuk blinks. "huh? what are you saying?"
wonshik shoots hakyeon a last, desperate look, but the leader swipes his thumb mercilessly across his neck. wonshik's sigh is deeper than the han river. he forces himself to look sanghyuk in the eye.
"hyukkie, it's an awful movie."
"YOUR FACE IS AN AWFUL MOVIE!!" sanghyuk screams back instantly. wonshik yelps and clings to hongbin, who's gone into artwork mode, presumably out of self-preservation -- sanghyuk rarely gets angry, much less explodes over anything, and even taekwoon is staring at him with wide eyes.
no one says a word as sanghyuk races from the living room to his bedroom with a loud sniffle, slamming the door behind him, only to open it a few seconds later to throw wonshik's futon and blanket in a haphazard pile out into the hall. he closes it violently again, and they hear the click of the lock followed by muffled sobs that sound suspiciously like jutsu names.
hakyeon releases the breath they were all holding, shaking his head before launching into damage control.
"leo, go make ramyun. ken, you and kongie get manager-hyung's keys and go buy the biggest plush toy we can afford. i'll try and talk to him in a bit. ravi-goon," he turns to the despondent rapper, clapping a grateful hand on his shoulder. "way to take one for the team."
pairings: none
wc: 614
so i've started doing writing prompts with my friends on ask.fm. the prompt was "spectacularly shitty movies" and the title is a play on 大活劇! 雪姫忍法帖だってばよ!! which is the name of the first naruto movie. everything about this is stupid.
it's bad.
as idols, they've learned to put up with a lot, to handle humiliation and second-hand embarrassment and all forms of awkward, uncomfortable situations in a professional manner.
but it's really, really bad.
hakyeon checks his phone for what must be the fiftieth time, only to be continuously disappointed by a twitter feed that refuses to update with any distractions. beside him, hongbin has his head buried in his hands, watching through the gaps in his fingers much like one watches a horrific accident that they'd rather not see, but can't bring themselves to look away from. jaehwan seems to have mentally checked out to another plane entirely, having been staring at the same spot on the wall without blinking for the last ten minutes, and even taekwoon, who could sit statuesque through the apocalypse, is struggling to keep his discomfort from seeping through into his expression. wonshik, for his part, is just trying his best not to claw his own face off.
"ore no nindou! dattebayo!" sanghyuk shouts at the tv, clapping excitedly. behind him, everyone writhes on the couch. it's sanghyuk's birthday and he wanted to watch the naruto movie. more specifically, he wanted to watch every naruto movie.
they're currently three-fourths of the way through the first one.
wonshik is the first to break, slapping hongbin's thigh over and over in a convulsive fit until the visual shoves his head, knocking it into jaehwan's and jarring him from his trance. he rubs his cheek and, realizing the movie is still going, looks helplessly at wonshik, who looks at hongbin, who looks at hakyeon (they skip over taekwoon, because none of them are cruel enough to force the vocalist to break a child's heart). hakyeon, through a combination of silent delegation and bullying conveyed via raised eyebrows and bared teeth, pushes the unsavory duty back on wonshik, who groans before tentatively addressing the maknae.
"uh... hyukkie?"
sanghyuk doesn't hear him, enamored by the glow of the legendary rainbow chakras. wonshik clears his throat and tries again.
"sanghyuk-ah."
sanghyuk turns, the cheap metal of his leaf-nin headband shining almost as brightly as his big, hopeful eyes, and wonshik feels like the lowest scum on the planet.
"i, uh... i know it's your birthday, and i know you really wanted to watch this with us, but, you know... we're, um... hyungs are pretty tired? so, i dunno, maybe we could, like... not. right now."
sanghyuk blinks. "huh? what are you saying?"
wonshik shoots hakyeon a last, desperate look, but the leader swipes his thumb mercilessly across his neck. wonshik's sigh is deeper than the han river. he forces himself to look sanghyuk in the eye.
"hyukkie, it's an awful movie."
"YOUR FACE IS AN AWFUL MOVIE!!" sanghyuk screams back instantly. wonshik yelps and clings to hongbin, who's gone into artwork mode, presumably out of self-preservation -- sanghyuk rarely gets angry, much less explodes over anything, and even taekwoon is staring at him with wide eyes.
no one says a word as sanghyuk races from the living room to his bedroom with a loud sniffle, slamming the door behind him, only to open it a few seconds later to throw wonshik's futon and blanket in a haphazard pile out into the hall. he closes it violently again, and they hear the click of the lock followed by muffled sobs that sound suspiciously like jutsu names.
hakyeon releases the breath they were all holding, shaking his head before launching into damage control.
"leo, go make ramyun. ken, you and kongie get manager-hyung's keys and go buy the biggest plush toy we can afford. i'll try and talk to him in a bit. ravi-goon," he turns to the despondent rapper, clapping a grateful hand on his shoulder. "way to take one for the team."