more racial things

[a_f_r_i_k_a_n_a]

i'm beginning to feel alienated from light-skinned black people, especially females.  so often when female black beauty is being described, discussed and displayed (lol michael eric dyson moment), it's light-skinned black women. with features that, if i had to classify, are more european than african or anything else, with hair that is straight to

Comments

[sweetwhispers]

I really do understand what you are saying...and in my efforts to relate, I hate being categorized and always referred to as "you fine yella" or "you pretty bright" or "you redbone" or "lightskin" etc etc...because even though my father is caucasion, I identify as black and I wish we black women were more unified as a whole and then not separated by our skin tones/features. I also hate references to darker black women as "you are pretty, for a dark skinned girl." LIKE WTF? Black women are beautiful, period. In all the tones, shapes, and features God has given us.

Media is trying, little by little, to change what they portray as beautiful black...but as a whole I definitely understand your p.o.v. and medias role does influence how people relate to beauty and its still very strongly leaned to the lighter complexion women, with the "good" *dies* hair.

i dunno.

[_loquacious]

I feel you Isis. in some respects I feel the same way. I rarely go out of my way to compliment a light skinned woman or anything. Its not that I dont find them beautiful (I do) I just feel there is enough out there in the media and mainstream society telling these women that they are desirable and wanted. the brown/darker skinned woman gets told she's okay but if she looked more european she'd be more acceptable. I smile at pretty chocolate lil girls on the street, I compliment them every chance I get because I know what its like to feel marginalized by the lighter skinned women. I wish I didnt have to do that.

like when a guy hits me up online and his page (myspace, blackplanet, whatever) has a picture of some pretty light skinned female (lauren london, alicia keys, beyonce) I'm like well why do you want to talk to me? I'm as far apart, visually, from these women as you can get.

[sweetwhispers]

that sucks that you guys feel that way and that you feel you have to go out of your way to NOT compliment someone who is of lighter complexion, as if it is their fault that they are.

i can't relate to HOW you feel, but I can understand WHY you feel that. but at the same time, hating within your own community just keeps the cycle going.

[_loquacious]

I kno sis, its not your fault you were born vanilla and I was born chocolate. I dont hate or even dislike any one because they are lighter. I just know as a chocolate girl in a not so chocolate friendly world it is very hard for me to identify with the things I see in ads, on the TV, mainstream culture. I know as a little girl its even harder. I've gotten that 'pretty for a dark skin girl comment' before. I've been called everything but a child of god in regards to my complexion and since I've been natural it hasn't gotten easier. I just had a dark skinned man tell me last week that I can't be walkin around with my hair lookin 'like that'. A mess.

have you ever read Don't Play In the Sun by Marita Golden? Its a great read and she even touches on some stories of lighter skinned men and women who have been affected by the color complex.

[a_f_r_i_k_a_n_a]

well, although i fully respect _loquacious comments, i compliment people often in general, and i would never not compliment a light-skinned, white, etc person on their beauty just b/c i thought they probably had heard it enough before. i feel so moved to think "wow you are really pretty", i will say it

[forwhataim]

well I know some mixed women (people) who identify as black might take issue with this but only one of the women you named is black. the rest are the definition of "mulatas"

as a light skinned nappyheaded chick who will not be told who I am I'm not gonna take offense to your feelings. I hope others wouldn't either. if they're black then they know we all go through some things living in this skin.