Case 59//Harry Dresden//Accidental Video

[harry_b_dresden]

[Harry's berry is sitting on a table in the new cafeteria when the feed turns on, catching the tall man bent awkwardly down to talk into the little speaker where the guests can request food]

-yeah. Yeah, a Burger King cheeseburger. And fries.
....
No, it doesn't have to be a king cow, I don't think cows have a government. It's just a fast food place,

Comments

[and_another_war]

Wait wait wait, they have... Holy crap.

[harry_b_dresden]

I know, right? I can hardly believe it.

[and_another_war]

That is one of the best things that's happened here, seriously.

[harry_b_dresden]

Well, you know, broken clocks, how often they're right, that sort of thing.

[He gestures with a wonderfully golden fry, which he then shortens with a satisfying crunch]

they must have stolen the robots from somewhere. No way the consortium could make something that good.

[Video]

[oneslickedison]

... Please tell me they can do steak pouvre. Or just steak. Possibly with a potato.

[A pause.] Do they have potatoes or something like it?

Re: [Video]

[harry_b_dresden]

It's a little microphone box, I have no idea what's in it. [He looks at his fries]

They've got fries, I assume they've got potatoes.

Re: [Video]

[oneslickedison]

... Microphone box? What are you talking about, Harry?

[Howard tilted his head in confusion.] You mean, like an intercom?

Re: [Video]

[harry_b_dresden]

Something like that, you're the technology guy, you figure it out.

[He laughs, munching on a couple fries at once]

Me? I'm just happy with the simple stuff.

[stubborn_throes]

And just when I was begininning to doubt the usefulness of these mechanical attendants, they display the ability to emulate 20th century fast food.

It's pretty impressive.

[harry_b_dresden]

I know, I never thought I'd say thank god for these damn animated trash cans.

Tell me. [He munches thoughtfully on a fry] Does it hurt, being that sarcastic all the time? How do you do that?

[stubborn_throes]

It tends to cause damage to the lower back and spine when used fervently outside of isolated incidents.

I had to wear a back-brace for four years in middle-school.

You insensitive bastard.

[harry_b_dresden]

Exactly what I'm talking about. See, ordinarily I'd be all contrite about this, but I know you're just doing this to yank my chain.

[He munches on a fry]

You're too skinny, kid. get down here and eat some real food.

[the_daybreak]

I didn't know they could do burgers.

[harry_b_dresden]

Apparently it's all in the way you ask.

[the_daybreak]

Well, good. Maybe we can get some ice cream.

action // pretend this is not late

[empyreanistic]

[Hey Harry. You know how there was a door to the cafeteria?

You know how, instead of a door now, there is a pile of flailing blonde limbs, a loud back, and a crumpled heap of scrap metal? Yeah. That just happened. Good luck finding Alfred (hint: it's the source of the overjoyed shouting covered in bits of rubble, kneeling at the base of the food-bot]

Re: action // pretend this is not late

[harry_b_dresden]

[There is a pause for precisely a microsecond, then more burger]

Figured you'd turn up, it was just a question of when and how much property damage.

[He grins] make sure you ask for extra ketchup, they're stingy.

[empyreanistic]

[Alfred almost cries with joy when the replicator complies. He doesn't talk for approximately thirty more seconds during which burger carnage occurs. Then he inhales the fries and promptly orders 6 more]