truth be told I miss you, and truth be told I'm lying

[a_helpinghand]

Memo to me: Don't go around telling modern people your name is Pylades and you're here because an angry Titan sent you - you won't get laid.

...

I'm going to go smoke something and press my head against a cold glass. If anyone wants me, you can try texting but I'm just going to ignore you.

That could have gone significantly better... I want

Comments

[meaningnothing]

Aww, my poor darling.

[a_helpinghand]

Comfort me~?

[meaningnothing]

Gladly, just don't let your hands travel too much. ♥ Your aunty is not a slut.

ghjbfh. threadjack sorry. just feeeeel the 'orly?'

[afathershands]

[mademestranger]

... Why did you do that?

[a_helpinghand]

I honestly don't know.

[mademestranger]

How much have you had to drink?

[a_helpinghand]

Five glasses of port, but that was after the encounter with a six foot, Swedish blonde with breasts the size of watermelons that I managed to confuse within a few minutes of talking. Of course, the confusion wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't told her out right that I preferred brunettes who had penchant for playing with knives and talking dirty and playing rough to foreign whores.

I'm miserable.

[Filter: Hermione] This event is going to cause soooooo much trouble XDDD

[a_helpinghand]

Our hate sex could cause metaphorical earthquakes in deprived countries.

[Filter: Hermione] I love it too. It's like such sadistic drug adlaksjdl I'M ADDICTED

[a_helpinghand]

On several occasions. I've never been able to help myself, though.

Don't you think I'm at least sexy in a bad boy kind of way?

[onono]

Pylades, you are looking in all of the wrong places if you want to get laid.

[a_helpinghand]

I wasn't looking for the easiest lay, but it was the right place to look.

[onono]

What do I know?

[Filter: Clytemnestra] *facepalms over Pylades*

[a_helpinghand]

I suppose you know a lot. I've imagined a woman like you has quite a bit of experience over the years. Oh gods, do I imagine.

[bloodyhonour]

No, taht really isn't the way to get laid.

[a_helpinghand]

If not getting laid brings guys like you around, then I don't mind as much.

[bloodyhonour]

...And now I'm not sure if you're pelased by my presence or insulted.