(Untitled)

[a_lucid_dream]

I've been thinking about my preferences in those around me, and specifically men I'd get closer to. Is it selfish or just smart to refuse to get involved with a former or present substance abuser

Comments

[killracists]

it's not selfish to choose to avoid dating addicts if you're a parent. addicts have a stronger propensity to become abusers

[a_lucid_dream]

those are my instinctive thoughts, too. when i got involved with aidan's dad, i didn't realize how bad his problem was until i already cared too much about him, and then i felt the need to stay to help and he begged for my help, too. there's not much you can do but stay clean for them and be supportive.

although the relationship was ruined because he couldn't stay sober, because of me he realized the extent of his problem and has since made an amazing amount of progress. the difference between before he met me and by the end of our relationship is significant.

so if i would have refused to get involved with him from the start because i had heard that he was an alcoholic, a lot less would have been learned for both of us even through all of the shit.

but going through it already, i almost feel like i've done my part in trying to help someone and will probably never go through it again.

[antipop]

I think you need to not judge them on if they use drugs, but SOLELY on how it affects their behavior and treatment towards you and those who you care about. I'm a bonafied pot-head who indulges in hallucinogens and other drugs here and there, and it doesn't affect my daily functionality in any visibly negative way. I maintain decent grades and good friendships and more, and the drugs are just a balancer, a part of my life which I enjoy, but it doesn't take over my entire life. If the person is a heroin/crack addict, or some really hard drug, then that may be a different story. It depends on so many variables. But don't pre-judge.

[a_lucid_dream]

i absolutely agree. i'm a total pot head, but it doesn't adversely affect the people around me or any area of my life. the only thing about that is, all other drugs besides pot are physically addictive. so if someone is using a substance consistently, you can expect them to be addicted. also, its not just pot smokers who are immune because of the lack of physical addiction. i have ruled out potential partners because they smoke too much pot and it does affect other areas of their life.

i also smoke a pack a day, and that is an addiction that affects my health and people around me when i smoke. i wouldn't be offended if someone ruled me out because of it.

[ninjamcninja]

i'm an addict.

[a_lucid_dream]

I'm a dick. I'm addicted. to you.

[ninjamcninja]

i was thinking about going there but i didn't. i'm glad to see you'll sink lower than i.

[a_lucid_dream]

HA

and that's all i have to say about that.