all for my wife...

Dec 14, 2005 16:02

emily has been harping on me lately about the lack of
entries i have been making, so i decided that maybe she's
right and that i'll make a new one for the first time in like AGES!

as of late, joe and i broke up. i can't say this is the hardest thing
i've ever been through, because to be frank, that'd be lying. he's been
acting like a real jerk lately, despite my attempts at creating some sort
of a friendship. ryan has seemed to take a nose dive off the face of the earth,
so no telling what's happening there. i decided to let casey know i liked him the
other day, because from the way he's been acting toward me lately, he was a typical
guy and led me on to think he liked me. it wasn't until AFTER i made a fool of myself
and admitted to him that i liked him that he laid the "you're reaaaally cool and i like you
a lot, just not LIKE THAT" line on me. boo for boys! pretty sure emily and i decided we're part
of the boys suck club. any more members ready for the taking? planning on going to the choir concert
tonight, so i'm pretty excited about that. mrs. astle asked me to hand out programs, but i don't
really see why i should do anything for her when she's pretty much trying to ruin my senior year.
i still don't get how a teacher can tell me for 3 years how great i am at singing and how i'm her
strongest and loudest soprano and how much she's missed me this term, only to tell me a week before
new schedules come out that i'm going to be in the shitty choir and i've basically got no choice about it, because she needs "leaders". fuck her! seriously. i don't usually talk like that, especially to authority figures such as that, but she's really starting to push my buttons. i tried to talk some sense into the woman, as did like a million other choir members that desperately want me to be in first block, but she's got her head to far up her ass to realize what she's missing out on. pretty much went into the choir room with jennifer yesterday at brunch and gave her the low down of her either letting me be in 1st block or me not being in choir at all, because i've got gov/econ 2nd block next term and she's NOT going to screw up my whole schedule. i repeat NOT! in other, more possitive news... emily and i have been getting really close lately, or so it seems. i'm really happy that for once in my life i am lashing out and making some new friends, outside of my normal "clique". hopefully erika and i can begin to get closer as well, because i think she's a simply amazing girl. i made emily this thing in photography for xmas and she seemed to really like it, so that makes me thrilled. everyone who saw it today had a lot of possitive comments (besides the obvious ones like "oh, that's emily".. uh duh!) i went to michaels and got a frame for it, so it looks really nice. hoping she's not just faking that she likes it, because i worked really hard on it.
wow, pretty sure i almost just had a heart attack... i accidentally hit the back button after all of this typing and i thought it deleted all of this entry so far, EEK!
anyways, i'm really regretting not joining winterguard. i wanted to more badly than most of you probably think, but i was nervous about doing it alone, since jennifer cant due to work.
emily sent me a text last night from practice saying they all missed me, which honestly made my eyes water and i was close to breaking down in tears.
i feel really guilty for deciding not to, but i chickened out, like i usually do about things i want.
i'm hoping maybe they'll give me another chance to join as long as i pay my money.
can you imagine that, though? amber shores in winterguard?! eek, never thought i'd see myself type that.
well, my wife (emily) just left me to go to quiznos, so i think i may go grab a bite to eat myself before i'm off to the choir concert to listen to jesse sing and emily dance and twirl the night away.
she's seriously SO talented.
makes me even MORE scared about winterguard, cuz' i know i could never look that good up there.
boo for people who are perfect, like her.
i hope anyone who reads this knows i heart them!
i know i haven't been telling people that enough, but i really do.
take care and be safe, all.
have a wonderful rest of the week.
<3 amber. (ambah to those who are special to me). -wink-.
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