More Ridiculous Chatter Than Is Strictly Necessary, Or Even Advisable
This is what happens when you allow me to operate the computer in a state of exhaustion. Yes, you.
1. How tall are you barefoot?
five feet six and a half inches
2. Have you ever been unfaithful in a relationship?
no
3. Do you own a gun?
Guns are bad. If I owned a gun, I would destroy it so that it could not shoot anymore. I would melt it into some sort of interesting or useful but entirely nonviolent thing.
4. If you had a mental disorder, what would it be?
That's an odd question. Is it like asking what color crayon I would be, or what sort of kitchen implement, or breed of dog? Because those questions are silly. They are about something that will never happen. More to the point, they are silly because they presume some sort of algorithm or rule by which one may determine what sort of people turn into what sort of crayons or kitchen implements or breeds of dogs, which doesn't exist because of the impossibility of such transformations. So any speculation about what one would become is completely meaningless. The questions make more sense if you say what sort of such and such you would RATHER be, because then you can give reasoning, such as that you would want to be an ugly yellow-green crayon so you never got used, or a wooden spoon because they are so very durable and pretty.
5. How many letters are in your crush's name?
100.
6. What do you think of hot dogs?
I try not to think of hot dogs.
7. What's your favorite Christmas song?
We Three Kings of Orient Are. That's probably not the actual name of the song, but it's the first line. Come to think of it, the title is probably just We Three Kings.
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Tea. Black tea, hot, in a thin white porcelain mug with a handle and a saucer, from a big vat in a cafeteria or other institutional setting.
9. Do you do push-ups?
Not with any regularity or enthusiasm.
10. Have you ever done ecstasy?
no
11. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
Mine or other women's?
(I hope you all got the Clue reference, otherwise you'll be confused.)
I'll leave Abbie's answer, because I enjoy Clue quotes.
12. Do you like the rain?
I don't think "like" is emphatic enough. I adore the rain. That's a little better.
15. Do you have A.D.D.?
no
16. Full initials?
ELS
17. Name 4 thoughts at this exact moment.
- That stupid song is stuck in my head. Why did they have to play it over and over again? Go away, stupid song.
- Sit still for a minute, fly, so I can watch you.
- It would be good if I decide to read tonight.
- The cat snores very loudly.
18. Name the last 3 things you have bought in the past week.
(I'm going to ignore the fact that there are several things about that sentence which bother me.)
- Iced tea at Subway on the way back from Loring Park, where all of the drinking fountains have mysteriously disappeared...
- Light rail ticket
- Movie ticket
19. Name five drinks you regularly drink.
- Water
- Milk
- Cranberry juice diluted with water
- Other sorts of juice, if they happen to be in the house
- Tea -- iced in the summertime, and hot in the winter
20. What time did you wake up today?
8:45
21. Can you spell?
Yes. I can't help but spell, if I want to write, which oftentimes I do.
22. Current worry?
Damn; I got sunburned again. I'm going to die of melanoma.
23. Current hate?
I try not to hate things, and have a general feeling of ambivalence toward the world at the moment anyway, because of the hour. Again with the needing to sleep. But the mosquito bite on my right ankle itches.
24. Favorite place to be?
Where I find contentedness. Or: Carnegie Library in Pittsburgh, my closet, cold and rocky seashores, and various other locations.
25. Least favorite place to be?
Mortal peril.
26. Where would you like to go?
Almost everywhere I haven't been, excluding the above.
27. Do you own slippers?
no
28. Where do you think you'll be in 10 yrs?
Neptune.
29. Do you burn or tan?
First I burn, then sometimes it turns into a tan.
30. Yellow or Blue?
Green.
31. Would you like to be a pirate?
No. The violence and looting don't appeal to me.
32. Last time your phone rang?
Nine something-or-other. A few hours ago.
33. What songs do you sing in the shower?
I don't sing in the shower; sometimes I hum aimlessly. I sing when I am dry.
34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?
A thief who had entered the house during the day and become stranded, and was just waiting for everyone to go to sleep so he could come out of hiding, kill us and escape.
35. What's in your pockets right now?
Lint.
36. Last thing that made you laugh?
I can't remember. Isn't that curious?
37. Best bed sheets you had as a child?
I had no particular affinity for any set of bed sheets.
38. Worst injury you've ever had?
Never anything serious enough to warrant an ER visit. I have scars from falling off my bike, cutting my leg on the metal underside of my bed and sticking my hand between the prongs of a hot marshmallow roaster.
39. What is your GPA?
Three point nine something.
40. How many TV's do you have in your house?
Three. This is unfortunate, as one is really plenty.
41. Who is your loudest friend?
I've never held a decibel meter up to anyone.
42. Who is your most quiet friend?
Really, now...do YOU know anyone who goes around measuring the auditory output of all their friends and relations? Because I certainly don't.
43. Does someone have a crush on you?
Why is there always this question? I grow weary of constructing evasive answers to make more entertaining the fact that I do not wish to speculate in such a setting as this.
44. Do you wish on stars?
no
45. What are your favorite books?
I don't know if I can answer this. Every time I try to answer such a question, I become plagued with the fear that I have forgotten to list something of utmost importance, and have therefore produced and broadcasted a misleading array of titles by which one might attempt to gain information about my personality and come to false and possibly distastrous conclusions. Have you forgotten the question yet?
46. What song did you last hear?
The Outsiders, by REM and a rapper named Q-Tip. I like that someone wishes to be known by the same name as is assigned to that humble, cotton-covered instrument of cleanliness.
48. What song do you want played at your funeral?
Last time I considered this, it was Don't Be Shy, and If You Want to Sing Out, Sing Out. (Both of these are by Cat Stevens. If I've ever given you anything with music on it, you've probably heard them.) However, this was several years ago, and I expect my thoughts on the matter have changed. I'll have to inspect them sometime, and perhaps will form a revised opinion.
49. What were you doing 12AM last night?
Thinking.
50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
It's raining pretty hard. I like that. It's going to make bike riding later unpleasant, though. Maybe it should stop in awhile.
1. How tall are you barefoot?
five feet six and a half inches
2. Have you ever been unfaithful in a relationship?
no
3. Do you own a gun?
Guns are bad. If I owned a gun, I would destroy it so that it could not shoot anymore. I would melt it into some sort of interesting or useful but entirely nonviolent thing.
4. If you had a mental disorder, what would it be?
That's an odd question. Is it like asking what color crayon I would be, or what sort of kitchen implement, or breed of dog? Because those questions are silly. They are about something that will never happen. More to the point, they are silly because they presume some sort of algorithm or rule by which one may determine what sort of people turn into what sort of crayons or kitchen implements or breeds of dogs, which doesn't exist because of the impossibility of such transformations. So any speculation about what one would become is completely meaningless. The questions make more sense if you say what sort of such and such you would RATHER be, because then you can give reasoning, such as that you would want to be an ugly yellow-green crayon so you never got used, or a wooden spoon because they are so very durable and pretty.
5. How many letters are in your crush's name?
100.
6. What do you think of hot dogs?
I try not to think of hot dogs.
7. What's your favorite Christmas song?
We Three Kings of Orient Are. That's probably not the actual name of the song, but it's the first line. Come to think of it, the title is probably just We Three Kings.
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Tea. Black tea, hot, in a thin white porcelain mug with a handle and a saucer, from a big vat in a cafeteria or other institutional setting.
9. Do you do push-ups?
Not with any regularity or enthusiasm.
10. Have you ever done ecstasy?
no
11. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
Mine or other women's?
(I hope you all got the Clue reference, otherwise you'll be confused.)
I'll leave Abbie's answer, because I enjoy Clue quotes.
12. Do you like the rain?
I don't think "like" is emphatic enough. I adore the rain. That's a little better.
15. Do you have A.D.D.?
no
16. Full initials?
ELS
17. Name 4 thoughts at this exact moment.
- That stupid song is stuck in my head. Why did they have to play it over and over again? Go away, stupid song.
- Sit still for a minute, fly, so I can watch you.
- It would be good if I decide to read tonight.
- The cat snores very loudly.
18. Name the last 3 things you have bought in the past week.
(I'm going to ignore the fact that there are several things about that sentence which bother me.)
- Iced tea at Subway on the way back from Loring Park, where all of the drinking fountains have mysteriously disappeared...
- Light rail ticket
- Movie ticket
19. Name five drinks you regularly drink.
- Water
- Milk
- Cranberry juice diluted with water
- Other sorts of juice, if they happen to be in the house
- Tea -- iced in the summertime, and hot in the winter
20. What time did you wake up today?
8:45
21. Can you spell?
Yes. I can't help but spell, if I want to write, which oftentimes I do.
22. Current worry?
Damn; I got sunburned again. I'm going to die of melanoma.
23. Current hate?
I try not to hate things, and have a general feeling of ambivalence toward the world at the moment anyway, because of the hour. Again with the needing to sleep. But the mosquito bite on my right ankle itches.
24. Favorite place to be?
Where I find contentedness. Or: Carnegie Library in Pittsburgh, my closet, cold and rocky seashores, and various other locations.
25. Least favorite place to be?
Mortal peril.
26. Where would you like to go?
Almost everywhere I haven't been, excluding the above.
27. Do you own slippers?
no
28. Where do you think you'll be in 10 yrs?
Neptune.
29. Do you burn or tan?
First I burn, then sometimes it turns into a tan.
30. Yellow or Blue?
Green.
31. Would you like to be a pirate?
No. The violence and looting don't appeal to me.
32. Last time your phone rang?
Nine something-or-other. A few hours ago.
33. What songs do you sing in the shower?
I don't sing in the shower; sometimes I hum aimlessly. I sing when I am dry.
34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?
A thief who had entered the house during the day and become stranded, and was just waiting for everyone to go to sleep so he could come out of hiding, kill us and escape.
35. What's in your pockets right now?
Lint.
36. Last thing that made you laugh?
I can't remember. Isn't that curious?
37. Best bed sheets you had as a child?
I had no particular affinity for any set of bed sheets.
38. Worst injury you've ever had?
Never anything serious enough to warrant an ER visit. I have scars from falling off my bike, cutting my leg on the metal underside of my bed and sticking my hand between the prongs of a hot marshmallow roaster.
39. What is your GPA?
Three point nine something.
40. How many TV's do you have in your house?
Three. This is unfortunate, as one is really plenty.
41. Who is your loudest friend?
I've never held a decibel meter up to anyone.
42. Who is your most quiet friend?
Really, now...do YOU know anyone who goes around measuring the auditory output of all their friends and relations? Because I certainly don't.
43. Does someone have a crush on you?
Why is there always this question? I grow weary of constructing evasive answers to make more entertaining the fact that I do not wish to speculate in such a setting as this.
44. Do you wish on stars?
no
45. What are your favorite books?
I don't know if I can answer this. Every time I try to answer such a question, I become plagued with the fear that I have forgotten to list something of utmost importance, and have therefore produced and broadcasted a misleading array of titles by which one might attempt to gain information about my personality and come to false and possibly distastrous conclusions. Have you forgotten the question yet?
46. What song did you last hear?
The Outsiders, by REM and a rapper named Q-Tip. I like that someone wishes to be known by the same name as is assigned to that humble, cotton-covered instrument of cleanliness.
48. What song do you want played at your funeral?
Last time I considered this, it was Don't Be Shy, and If You Want to Sing Out, Sing Out. (Both of these are by Cat Stevens. If I've ever given you anything with music on it, you've probably heard them.) However, this was several years ago, and I expect my thoughts on the matter have changed. I'll have to inspect them sometime, and perhaps will form a revised opinion.
49. What were you doing 12AM last night?
Thinking.
50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
It's raining pretty hard. I like that. It's going to make bike riding later unpleasant, though. Maybe it should stop in awhile.