Final installment.
Part 6 here Part VII
They were most of the way back to the apartment before Wesley spoke. Are you dreadfully upset, my dear?
Harmony sighed tragically. No, just really disappointed. Not only I didnt get to kill her, I didnt even see her go. She shook her head. That just sucks. And believe me, I know.
He patted her hand. You can perhaps take consolation from the knowledge that you played a significant role in her demise. The struggle initiated by your assault thinned their ranks, so that when it came time to battle in earnest, she found herself overextended; and, of course, you engaged her a second time and effectively immobilized her at the end
oh, my word!
What? Harmony looked to him. Whats the matter?
The gem, he told her. We forgot to return the gem to Mr. Giles for safekeeping. I didnt wish to raise the subject while Mrs. Madison was present alarming woman, really and by the time that extraordinary conversation was ended, it had quite slipped my mind.
Oh, Harmony said, and shrugged. Well, its no big deal. Whos going to look for your Gem of Armani on my toe, under these cheap ugly shoes?
Harm, he said patiently, the entire point of reserving a mystical artifact for use in emergencies is to return it to protective storage once the emergency has passed. He checked the street signs, obviously looking for a place to turn around. We must go back immediately.
Wes. She touched his arm. We just wasted the Civil Servant of Doom and a dozen of his top soldiers. Dont you think the forces of evil would really rather just take the rest of the night off? I know I would. She smiled at him. Besides, whats the rush? You know what weve never done together?
Not offhand, no. Youve been rather dismayingly adventuresome. He looked to her in sudden alarm. I say, youre not suggesting
well, bondage, or some such?
She giggled at the thought. Ooh, kinky. No, I was thinking how nice it would be if we just went down to the beach and sat on the sand and watched the sun come up together.
Mm. Yes. Yes, that would be pleasant, wouldnt it? And safe, so long as you wear the Gem. He glanced to her with something that was more sadness than fondness. Shall we swing by the flat and pick up a thermos for you?
Sure. She leaned against him, nestling in as he put his arm around her. And swimsuits. Sunrise wont be for awhile yet, and while were waiting we can play lifeguard and grateful swimmer
Ah, Wesley said. Yes. Yes, quite. He pressed his foot down on the accelerator, and the Volvo surged forward.
* * *
They had been sitting in the van for close to ten minutes, neither of them saying a word. There was no awkwardness in the silence, but at the same time it lacked the easy companionship that had been second nature to them for so long. Finally Buffy said, So.
Oz nodded. Yeah.
You were right, Buffy said. The effect Xander had on us all, the pressure from Witchmoms push to get out of the trophy
you were right, we were being moved around by stuff we never saw.
Looks like, Oz agreed.
I just feel sick, she said. All this time
was any of it true?
I pretty much go with Giles on that one, he told her quietly. We may have had outside stuff nudging us toward each other, but the things we did when we were together, that was us. Clear down the line.
She sat, unspeaking, unmoving, digesting the thought. Why did you come after me? she asked at last. Two years ago, I mean.
Because I couldnt stand to be around Willow. The words were as dry and soft as ever, and no remnants of old pain showed in his face. She really did try, after we were able to talk again, but I could see it wasnt gonna work between us. Even if it wasnt her fault, something had gotten broken and it wasnt ever gonna heal right. And you were alone, and hurting, and you needed somebody, and there was nothing left to keep me here.
So I was a pity case.
An economical shake of his head. You were someone I cared about.
Buffy looked to him with reluctant hope. You werent in love with me?
Not for the first year. The faint, ironic smile had crept back. All that time I was propping you up? I was leaning on you, too. We got each other over the worst of it, and never tried to make it any more than that. More came later.
She was nodding. Yeah. No fireworks, but it was real. Even if nothing else was real, that was. She took a deep, shaky breath that was very near to being a sob. Oz, I dont know what to do. Im afraid to try and hold you, afraid I dont have the right. But I cant stand the thought of letting you go.
Then dont, he said, and reached for her. The kiss was light but not hesitant, their lips barely touching, and his arms went around her with an undemanding gentleness unlike anything she had ever felt from Angel or Xander.
No fireworks. No blistering flame of passion. Only an even, steady glow that would warm them for a lifetime.
* * *
He had parked down the block, and when he came up the sidewalk he could see her waiting on the porch. Lights spilled from the curtained windows, and happy music, and voices pitched with that giddiness that follows surviving a battle to the death. As he went up the front steps he could hear one voice raised for attention:
and then she walks up to him, calm as you please, and says, Mister Rayne, I dont believe Ive had the pleasure. And hes starting in on how actually they met back during the Band Candy thing in 98, when she fires a front kick straight into his crotch. Lifted him up on his toes, let me tell you. And then hes down on the grass curled into this little whimpering ball, and she says, I know weve met. I said I hadnt had the pleasure. Now I have.
Laughter rocked the windows, other voices clamoring for details or offering them. Xander looked to her, shaking his head. Man. Sorry I missed that one.
She sighed. If you want to know the truth, it didnt feel nearly as good as I thought it would.
Maybe. But it sounds like it was fun to watch. He paused. So, howd it go?
You were right, she told him. The Mayor had another dozen or so waiting outside, I suppose for some kind of signal. We tried to move in quietly, so we could hit them when they started to join the others, but they spotted us and we had to open fire.
No harm, he said. Thanks for backing us up.
Thanks for keeping me in the loop. I was pretty sure something was happening when Buffy left so suddenly, but she still thinks she can protect me from the truth.
Like youre protecting her, he pointed out.
I suppose thats true. She sat on the porch railing, and after a moment he did the same, a few feet away. Tell me, she said, was this just some personal grudge match, or was it one of those things where the earth was about to open up and swallow the whole city?
Little of both. But its all taken care of. He nodded toward the window. Theyre all in a good mood, so I take it nobody got hurt too bad?
No, that paintgun idea of yours worked like a charm. Well be getting some more of those. And youll have to show us how you fill the paintballs with holy water, so we can make our own ammunition.
He grinned at her, pleased. That good, huh? Ive been wanting to try it out, but the nights have been quiet lately. Not that thats a bad thing, he added hastily. As for the paintballs, I got the idea from those inkjet-cartridge refill kits. I just use a hypodermic with a heavy-gauge needle to suck out the paint, and another one to put in holy water. Little dab of epoxy to seal the puncture, and its, Go ahead, Lestat, make my day.
She nodded understanding. It made a big difference. None of the vampires could get close to us
and luckily, there was only one conventional demon in the bunch. A Kosch’tscho, I think.
Whoa! He leaned forward. Didnt think of that. What happened?
It was scary for a minute there. She shook her head. When we realized the holy water wasnt affecting it, Larry and Roger tried to wrestle it down. Roger almost got his shoulder dislocated, and Larry will need a few stitches for claw marks, though his jacket stopped most of it. Then Loryn came roaring back in that big Suburban of hers, blaring the horn, and when they dived out of the way she hit the thing head-on.
Cool, Xander said. Didnt hear that, we musta been pretty busy about then. Demon pizza?
No, but after that he didnt want to fight us anymore. He took off, we let him go. The important thing was to keep them out of the library, and we accomplished that.
In serious kick-ass style, sounds like. Xander gave her a lopsided smile, and added very casually, You know, our new principal may have been trying to make an impression. I think he kinda has a thing for you.
You may be right, she said, and sighed again. Roger is a good man, and hes very earnest about the work were doing here. Ill do my best to go easy on his feelings.
Okay, he said. The silence stretched out, and after a minute he stood up. Well, Ill let you
Xander, she said. Were we looking at the end of the world?
Uh
He sat down again. Why do you ask?
I could see there was something Buffy wanted to tell me, but she couldnt think of how to start. The last time she acted that way
I just want to know.
Well
He shrugged uneasily. For awhile it looked like we might be. Turned out it was a false alarm.
Would you have told me about it?
He shook his head. Buffy would have. Once she was back, it wasnt my place.
I see. She folded her hands on her lap. Youve been straight with me on everything else, so I suppose I can believe you on that.
Straight, he said, his voice going bleak. Yeah.
Xander. She spoke with that no-nonsense firmness that meant, Pay attention, boy, this one isnt up for debate. You had sex with my daughter, and then you cheated on her with her best friend. Im not about to excuse that, and if Id known all the details at the time I probably would have strangled you. But I only know them now because you told me yourself
Right, he interrupted. After shed already been gone nine months. I let you blame yourself when it was my fault all along
Xander, shut up. She fixed him with a practiced glare. You didnt have to tell me at all. And youve never tried to make excuses; just the opposite, youve made sure nobody forgets anything you did. Well, thats been going on long enough. Her eyes softened, and she went on more quietly. You brought me into the world Buffy always shut me out of, and you showed me a way I could actually make a difference. Youve made sure your people dont know anything about this, and neither do mine. Youve had this whole silent penance thing going, wallowing in guilt for all you did wrong and hiding the good youve done since. And I kept letting you do it, because I blamed you, too.
His mouth twisted. No more than I deserved.
Maybe. I wont argue the point, because Im telling you: it stops now. She stood suddenly. The world almost ended. Do you know what that means? It means that anything we might have wanted to do, but didnt, there wouldnt be another chance. It means that anything we felt, but didnt say, would never be said. Dying is one thing, but knowing you never lived the way you wanted, never told people how important they were to you
Yeah. He looked at his hands. Yeah, I was kinda feeling some of the same stuff. But I didnt think that
Youre good at not-thinking. She smiled at him. You practically have a patent on it. Youre young enough to learn better, eventually, but until you do, Ill think for both of us.
He sat with his eyes down, afraid to speak. Finally he looked up, and said slowly, I kinda have a history of taking things the wrong way, so Ive gotta ask: does this mean ?
It means, she said, that I dont want us to meet secretly anymore. The rest of it, well work out as we go.
Thats
He stopped, swallowed. Thats good. Thats great. He stood from the railing. Tomorrow?
She nodded. Tomorrows fine.
Okay. He gestured toward the door. I guess you can get back to partyin down with the Secret Slayer Auxiliary.
Not right away, she said. I used it as an excuse to come out, once you called me back, but I really do need to wait until my head stops pounding.
Another one of those pull-the-hatchet-out-of-my-skull migraines? He studied her with a frown. You ought to see a doctor about that.
Its a fact of life, Xander: middle-aged women get migraines. She smiled. And young women. And young men. Its an equal opportunity beast. Dont worry, once it goes down a little, a stiff drink or two will take care of the rest.
Well
He shuffled from one foot to the other. Okay. Tomorrow.
Yes, she said. Tomorrow. Good night, Xander.
Good night
He stopped, looking to her uncertainly. She nodded, her eyes on his, and he drew a steadying breath. Good night, Joyce. And he turned and went down the front steps, his chest suddenly tight.
Tomorrow.
* * *
Getting onto the Interstate fast was good when you were trying to make a quick departure, but only if you didnt flip the sodding car, which he almost did when the woman said, Youre a slick one, Ill give you that. Almost made it out of range before I caught your track.
Bugger me! Ethan wrenched the wheel back into line, shot an incredulous glance at the new presence in the passenger seat. He hadnt seen her appear, it was as if shed been there all along and he just hadnt noticed, which was simply bloody impossible. What the bleeding hell ?
We havent been introduced, she continued coolly. Im Catherine Madison, and youre my ride and my bankroll until I say otherwise.
He bit back the pungent retort that had leapt to his lips, took an extra second to steady himself, and said, I see. To what do I owe the honor?
She smiled in a way he found not at all reassuring. Two things. You were available, and you were headed in a direction I didnt mind going. She considered, and added, Three things, actually: youre the kind of worthless weasel I could burn down to charcoal briquettes without a second thought.
Ah. Yes, I do have that effect on some people. He took another look at her. Might I inquire what it is in Los Angeles that interests you?
She shrugged. Anything. Everything. You name it, I want it. Ive been in solitary for close to four years, and Im ready to just roll in fun and frolic. Another of those disquieting smiles. Hope you have deep pockets.
Ethan had spent decades sizing up people, automatically assessing their potential for exploitation or threat. Every ounce of his experience told him this Madison woman wasnt running any kind of bluff: she had both the power and the willingness to do as she had said. Why he had let Ripper talk him into coming back to this miserable hamlet was a mystery; youd think hed bloody learn
Ive got enough boodle to carry us a bit, he said, but not if youre bent on painting the town. Been in a bit of a dry spell, you see, plus there was a costly attempt to reconcile chaos theory and the laws of chance at the gaming tables
He stopped suddenly, his pulse quickening. I say, if youre looking for sensual diversion, were headed in the wrong direction. For sheer spectacle and variety, one can hardly do better than Las Vegas, over in your state of Nevada. And if the womans abilities should happen to include a facility at reading cards or influencing dice
Her eyes were cold. Im hearing something I dont much like: its the sound of someone who just struck an angle. I know your rep, Rayne. Do you have any idea what Ill do to you if you try to screw me over?
Ethan kept his smile, though it might have stiffened somewhat. You have the advantage of me, dear lady; Ive not been at all informed of your reputation. Would I be far afield, however, in postulating something in the range between instant death and protracted torment?
Again the smile. Not bad. If youve got as much sense as you have insight, you might even keep on living.
He was recovering both from the first shock of her appearance and from the first bristling reaction to her cavalier commandeering of his person. His history of calculated self-preservation was well-known and well-founded, but the fact was that a truly dedicated coward wouldnt be in this business at all. There was power here, and opportunity, and this Catherine Madison showed a casual unconcern for traditional proprieties that might fit in well with various scenarios hed been contemplating.
Besides which, dangerous or no, she was a rather handsome woman. Actually, the danger added a certain delicious frisson to the situation
With all his considerable charm and a genuine measure of good humor, he said, I am your servant, madame. In fact, I believe this association might prove to be of benefit to us both.
She shook her head and turned in the seat to look at the highway ahead. He paid it no mind, he was feeling the excitement that always came with the start of a new game, the appearance of a wealth of new possibilities.
Tell me, he said, have you ever given any thought to the pursuit of chaos
?
- end -
Note: The poem Oz quotes in Part I is
The Definition of Love, by Andrew Marvell
[ A supplementary drabble for this story can be seen
HERE. ]
And there you are. Don’t hesitate to offer commentary.
End Notes