“Tip of My Tongue”, End notes
[ Endnotes posted 18 Jul 2015 ]
Where did the idea for the story come from?
I can’t really trace back to the tiny germ of thought that brought out this story, but at least part of the original inspiration came from the continuing negative depiction of Hank Summers in fanfiction (and later canon, but that’s one of the problems). In the beginning canon, Hank was a concerned and caring father, wanting his daughter’s welfare and happiness - and aware that there was a distance between them that he didn’t understand - and on good terms with his ex-wife, at least to the extent that they could share concern about Buffy without it instantly turning into snarling war. (His one negative showing in early canon - the “Nightmares” episode, where he told Buffy she was a disappointment and there was no point in him wasting any more time on her - was clearly by context a didn’t-really-happen deal.) Then, suddenly, we’re in Season 5 and he’s in Spain with his secretary - having a clichéd mid-life affair, by explicit reference - and out of nowhere he’s a contemptible slacker with no feeling for anything other than his own desires …
Yeah. I love Joss Whedon’s work, but I have a few problems with some of his attitudes. (For instance, his personal atheism meant that there was never any approving depiction of religion or a religious person in the Buffyverse; the closest we ever got was the fearless, disapproving nun in the A:tS episode “I’ve Got You Under My Skin”.) Was there ever a positive parental figure, other than Joyce Summers (who got her own share of ‘clueless parent’ jokes)? Was there ever a positive father figure at all?
Yes, I had issues of my own; “Tip of My Tongue” was written during the period when my wife and I were divorced, and I was doing my best to stay involved in my kids’ lives. Still, I think I would have been annoyed by the overall vibe even if there hadn’t been a personal aspect to it for me. (In “the Still, Small Voice” I got to address both Whedon’s bad-father obsession and his anti-religion prejudice, with my positive portrayal of Father Nolan and the less-than-utterly-villainous depiction of Tara’s father.)
Is there any particular significance to the title?
Only in the sense that there was something Hank knew but couldn’t quite remember, in that it skittered away from his awareness whenever he tried to look at it directly. I like titles that sound good, and so wind up using quite a few familiar turns of phrase. This was one.
Is this one of my favorite stories? why or why not?
I enjoyed it when I first turned it out, and still do, but it was never a favorite; it simply had its place among the other stories I’d written. (At this point, all but a few of my Buffyfic were for my Backstage Series, so they tended to slot together to form a composite narrative.) It met my goals in 1) being original in itself, 2) showing character and telling a tale effectively, and 3) adding an increment of built-up meaning to my Backstage ’verse, but it was never intended to be a major effort in its own right.
What is the thing I like most about this story? the thing I like least, or about which I feel most doubtful?
I most like my depiction here of Hank’s personality: a decent, good-hearted man with clear flaws. (Even taking account that Drusilla must have been working a bit of psychic thrall on him, it’s hard to watch the two of them together without the word “schmuck” coming to mind.) And, yes, I shaped the whole story to the ending, the forewarning that the unnamed cabal wouldn’t be able to keep Hank down forever and probably wouldn’t like the result when he ‘woke up’.
As for “like least”, there isn’t anything. This was the story I meant to tell, and it went the way I wanted it to.
Is there anything I think I could have done better, or might do differently if I had it to do over?
Even looking back after several years, I don’t see any place where I wish I’d done something different, or feel that I clearly could have done better. This story might not have been one of my more ambitious efforts, but I believe I hit my mark here.
Do I have any plans to follow up on this story, or to use the character(s) or situation in a subsequent fic?
It’s a Backstage story, so of course there are/will be connections. For instance, the conspiracy around Hank was originally launched by Lee Mercer due to Lilah Morgan’s manipulations, as she formulated in “ Notes on an Opera Program”. Drusilla’s musings to Hank include backward reference to 1) her vision of Joyce incinerating Angelus in “ All Ye Who Enter” before she took steps to prevent that from happening, and 2) Buffy’s having “her father’s [Giles’s] eyes”, as laid out in “ Morning’s Echo” and likewise alluded to in “… Than Meets the Eye”. Finally, in “ An Eye to the Future” there was mention of Hank in his unending psychic prison, and a message/prompt delivered to him that would eventually free him from it.* And he will, oh yes he will, make at least one more appearance in my future writings …
[ *Which deliverance seems to have taken place, according to Merle the demon informant, in “ Jack Be Nimble”, 2019. ]
Any observations to add at the end?
Though the reference is too glancing to qualify this story as a crossover, the Masquerade program was a brief 1983-84 TV series. I liked the idea, even if it never caught on, and its mention here is a small tribute.