“Subject to Change”, 4/5
Fourth segment.
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4. He finally got to be a champion …
It was his own fault, standard Xander dumb-assery. Even though he’d chosen not to give the Gem of Amarra to Angel, he still wanted to keep it safe in case it was ever needed. The problem was, he didn’t really have all that much in the way of safe storage for mystical artifacts, so he wound up carrying the thing with him. Mostly in his pants pocket, but after the third time he nearly put the pants in the laundry with the ring inside, he stuck it in a small leather pouch instead, put the pouch on a chain, and wore it around his neck. Wore it all the time, removing it only when he showered and then donning it again the moment he was done toweling off.
So, yeah, for months he kept magically-charged jewelry just one remove from next to his skin - in fairness, the thing really was supposed to be for vampires only, the manual hadn’t so much as hinted at anything else - and it never occurred to him that there might possibly be repercussions from that. Not until they hit.
Angel had chanced across a gang of street kids, apparently run by a tough young black man and his much-younger sister, who took it on themselves to rumble with vampires. Enforcing a hard-fought peace on their own patch of turf, proud and determined and not too inclined to follow anyone else’s advice (much less, in the leader’s words, “some middle-class white dude that’s dead”), and almost certainly badly overmatched in the long run. Convincing them of that, though … So Xander stayed to try and work some diplomacy, while Angel went hunting for the nest that hid the vampires who had been plaguing these streets.
Charles Gunn was a hard sell, but Xander’s approach didn’t set him bristling the way Angel’s had, even if Gunn didn’t seem particularly impressed by the arguments. His sister Alonna was a more receptive audience, though, and Xander homed in on that. Got to talking with her about how they were set up: food supplies, places to sleep, whether or not they had access to medical care for combat injuries or even normal ailments that could be a serious hassle for people who didn’t have any money to spare. His own experience in fighting the same fight (well, something similar, anyway) gave him credibility, and his ‘female’ status was another avenue where Alonna could relate to him. She had Willow’s selflessness and caring, along with a straightforward practicality and spirit that were entirely her own, which in turn made him feel a particular kinship with her, and before long they had settled into a long discussion about logistics and organization and team structure and - eventually - some goal that went beyond immediate survival.
So he was still there when Gunn looked up suddenly and commanded his sister, “Get everybody out.”
“What?” Alonna asked, before Xander could say it himself. “What is it?”
Whether he had heard something or was following instincts finer-honed than anything Xander had seen in an unaugmented human, Gunn was already moving. “Out, out into the daylight.” He grabbed up a sword, and that was when a smoke grenade came in through a low window, followed by another from a different side. “Do it now!” Gunn ordered, charging to meet whatever was trying to come in, and after an instant’s indecision Xander went after him. Alonna was already shouting directions, the other kids in the ‘abandoned’ building were responding quickly, this was their scene and they had it worked out, he wasn’t needed for any evacuation but he might be able to lend Gunn a hand in a fight -
The smoke confused him, though, he lost Gunn and then he lost track of just where he was, so he gave it up and headed for daylight. Made it in time to see Alonna skin up over the railing around the basement stairs, coughing herself from the smoke, and a beige van screech to a halt next to her as she dropped to the pavement in the alley. Heavily swaddled figures darted out to grab her - gloves, thick leather coats, gas masks, those were vampires wearing enough layers to protect them from the sun! - and she screamed as they dragged her into the van. Xander sprinted desperately, getting to the van just as it started the surge of acceleration that would carry it beyond his reach: hopeless even to try for the doors, so he swung the light axe he was carrying and burst the front tire on the passenger’s side, using the follow-through to extend and slice across the rear tire as well. The ruined tires grabbed on the pavement and the van plowed into the wall on that side, and the raiders came boiling out and at him.
No time for thought so it was all training and reaction, he smashed the axe not at the vital areas he normally targeted but at the face of the nearest charging vampire, breaking the glass lens on the gas-mask, and the leech shrieked and fell to its knees, throwing up one arm to protect its exposed eye from the torturing sun. Xander could have taken that one easily in the moment of distraction but the next one was coming right at him, Xander started a swing but the one on the ground clutched at his knee, delaying him for an instant, so instead he stabbed with the steel spike at the head of the axe and ripped upward (couldn’t stake a vamp with metal but it hurt like a mother!), rancid blood splashed his chest and down the neck of his shirt, soaking the leather pouch on the chain and his chest was on fire!, then the vampire smashed him down, down to the pavement, and as Xander lay there, helpless, the thing raised a thick boot to crush his skull like a dried gourd, should have done it different should have done it different -
- breaking the lens on the gas-mask, and the vampire shrieked and fell to its knees and Xander threw himself from the path of the next one coming at him, doing a reverse-loop with the axe to strike the head from the one who was already down. His recovery almost wasn’t quick enough, the second one was nearly on him again and this time he aimed the spike at crotch instead of belly, driving and twisting, this shriek was like a banshee being gutted, and Xander chopped at the thing’s head with the axe, again and again, slashing the fabric of the gas-mask until the sun seared through a dozen gashes. He pushed the vamp away with his foot as it squalled and writhed, made it to the van and jerked open the back door, just in time to see the one that had stayed inside tear out Alonna’s throat with its teeth, no no this is wrong NO, don’t allow this can’t allow this -
- chopped at the vamp’s head with the axe, laying open the fabric of the gas-mask with three strategic cuts, then dodged its blind lunge as he drove for the back of the van. He already had the axe raised as he jerked the door open, and threw even before his eyes had picked out the target. The axe cut into the jaw of the last vampire, almost hit Alonna instead but didn’t, Xander grabbed her ankle and yanked her outside, but it was too sudden and her position was wrong and as she came clear she dropped straight down, her head striking the pavement of the alley with a sound like a green watermelon being split open FUCKFUCKFUCK -
- grabbed her ankle and yanked her outside, twisting to catch one shoulder as she came clear, they went down together in an ungainly heap and his elbow cracked against the pavement with a lightning-bolt of agony, the last vampire was leaning out of the van to snatch at them, rage and bloodlust stronger for the moment than the sunlight that crisped the skin from its face, and Gunn’s sword went through the open mouth and all the way out the back of the skull with a force that embedded the blade in the metal of the side-panel.
After that, something of a jumble, but eventually it got sorted out. Once Gunn was sure his sister was all right, he looked to where Xander stood holding his elbow, white-faced (it hurt oh Christ it hurt, he’d broken it, compression fracture for sure), and said, “Girl, that was the goddamnedest thing I ever saw in my life.” He shook his head in wonder. “I was runnin’ all-out, still knew I couldn’t make it in time, but you went through those bloodsuckers like Red fuckin’ Sonja in Levi’s and plaid. And the thing with the tires … they teach that in some freak-ass ninja school? I mean, that was tight.” He drew a long breath. “Okay. You still wanta talk, I’m here to listen, ’cause I owe you big-time.” Then he cut his eyes to where Alonna was being checked for injuries, and leaned toward Xander to add in a lower voice, “Just don’t try to make no moves on my sister, okay? She don’t swing that way.”
“Not a lesbian,” Xander gritted out. “Jesus, why does everybody think that? Just ’cause I don’t dress out in vampire-hunter chic like Cordy would -” Then he bent over suddenly to throw up.
Hey, he was doing good not to pass out here.
* * *
Xander didn’t tell Angel or Cordelia or Wesley what had happened to him during the frantic melee, selling his performance as the result of total desperation and stunning luck … and, with what they already knew of him, they bought it. He was right about the compression fracture, but it wasn’t as bad as it might have been, and after carrying the arm in a sling for a week, he was able to begin coaxing it back into normal function.
He had, however, pulled off the leather pouch containing the Gem of Amarra the first chance he got, and stuck it in the bottom of his sock drawer. What he’d done, the zone he’d gone into during those awful moments … there was no way he could be grateful enough for the miracle that had come when it had, but that didn’t mean he liked it very much. The ability to replay a few crucial seconds, re-do something that had gone wrong, clearly could be a near-priceless advantage in the kind of crises they faced all the time. Only, he could remember how it felt. Even above the fear and adrenaline and driving need, there had been the distant sensation of being … disconnected … of tuning into and being gradually subsumed by a larger force. Xander thought of the way the Slayer still threatened to take over all there was of Buffy; of the headaches that came with Cordy’s visions, and the way they seemed to be getting worse even though she tried to hide it; of the changes he’d seen in Willow as she got deeper into the magicks for which she was showing such a sudden, unexpected skill; even of the way Oz had found it necessary to re-order so much of his life to deal with the three nights of the full moon. Xander had built up a lot of frustration at being the only member of two different teams who had no special abilities of any kind, not even a Watcher’s knowledge of the supernatural … but he’d also had the opportunity to see what some of those extraordinary attributes could cost, and he didn’t feel easy at the prospect of losing who he was, just to gain an edge in a fight.
He wasn’t being a coward, he decided. It wasn’t fear if you decided you’d rather take this risk instead of that risk, especially when that risk was more likely to keep you alive. It was just, that risk showed too much potential to take him places he didn’t want to go, and when all was said and done, he’d take his chances as he was.
Win or lose, live or die, he’d do it as Xander.
(… and decided to pass).
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