“Subject to Change”, End notes
[ Endnotes posted 23 Sep 2019 ]
Since this is a remix, what prompted the direction this story took in differing from the original?
At some point I saw a blurb for a story where Xander, not Buffy, left town over the post-Acathla summer and wound up joining Gunn’s crew in Los Angeles. That idea mixed with another notion I’d had on my own - of what effect the Gem of Amarra might have on a non-vampire - and found itself simmering in the back of my mind. Those two together, once combined with the basic foundation of nothorse’s chosen-for-remix story, moved me toward L.A. for my recasting of Xander rebelling against his female side, and the result was what you see.
Is there any particular significance to the title?
Strictly serviceable. It broke my preferred pattern of using song title/lyrics as the title of a remix, but aside from that it does the job.
What is the thing I like most about this story? the thing I like least, or about which I feel most doubtful?
The entire story was enjoyable for me, so I’d have trouble picking out a favorite (though I did enjoy Xander’s non-sex with Cordelia, and his brief stint as an action hero[ine]). Mainly I just liked the story itself, and the episodic structure let me get where I was going in a way that pleased and entertained me.
And there wasn’t a least-liked/doubtful part at all. All the parts seemed to do what they were meant to do. This wasn’t my best story by a long shot, but it always seemed nicely balanced to me.
Is there anything I think I could have done better, or might do differently if I had it to do over?
Honestly, no. What came out was what came naturally to me, the way the story felt like it had to be. Doing otherwise wouldn’t have been telling the story more effectively, it would have been telling a different story.
Was there a different direction I could have taken the story, and what would have been some of the advantages of the not-taken path?
Oh, there’s most definitely a different direction I could have taken it, but it would have required a larger story and maybe some serious darkness in the process. This one ended with Xander-in-a-female-body realizing that at some point ‘she’ had actually become female-Xander, and had the realization brought about through a surprise reaction from - and to - Wesley. Can you imagine the internal dynamics that could have been opened up if girl-Xander had discovered herself having that kind of response to/from Angel? That would have been … volcanic. And very messily conflicted.
Any observations to add at the end?
This story, while not aiming for straight comedy, was fun for me: fun to write, fun to re-read, fun to experience. Sometimes that’s all you need.