“Just Can’t Kill the Beast”, End notes
[ Endnotes posted 14 Aug 2018 ]
Since this is a remix, what prompted the direction this story took in differing from the original?
Every now and again, I’m assigned a remix author whose writing style or subject choice - and sometimes both - differs so far from mine that I have to reach far and dig deep just to come up with anything I can do with one of their stories. (If I recall correctly, I believe Morphea - writing as redwinevinegar - was the first such I ever had to deal with.) When that happens, I generally wind up fastening on some tiny aspect of a story and expanding my perspective to explore that. This was such a case; SevenDeadlyFun and I simply had so little in common that I was all but on my own as far as inspiration went.
Is there any particular significance to the title?
Line from “Hotel California”, of course. Matched the general theme of the story - the ol’ green-eyed monster was one critter she’d never figured out how to slay - and continued my preference for using song title or lyrics for the title of a remix.
What is the thing I like most about this story? the thing I like least, or about which I feel most doubtful?
As has been the case with other characters and other stories, the trickiest part of this one was properly presenting a known character at this point in their personal journey. From the episode of her first appearance, it was clear that Faith had issues, but they interwove with the things that happened around her, and at this time she wasn’t yet to the point of feeling so alienated from everyone else that she would throw in her lot with the local Big Bad. That was what I was aiming to capture, and I feel that I did it decently. This gal is genuinely scary, but still short (so far) of actively homicidal.
The second-trickiest part of the task I set myself was getting her interior voice - the self-hating one, the one that increasingly spurred her toward her own destruction - enough like Faith to not attract immediate notice, but gradually just discordant enough for it to make sense when it turned out to be coming from elsewhere. I was not dissatisfied with how I handled that, but I can’t actually know I did it properly, I can only believe it. For now, that’ll have to do.
Is there anything I think I could have done better, or might do differently if I had it to do over?
With this story, no. It was a relatively short piece, but I pretty much knew from the beginning how I intended to tackle it, and as far as I could tell I hit where I was aiming.
Okay, well, a possibility might be the issue of Dawn. I’ve been somewhat less than consistent in my treatment of Dawn in stories written after she appeared in canon but set before that appearance. Sometimes I retcon her into place, sometimes I don’t bother; this time, I tried to split the difference, giving Faith memories of Dawn but not really clearly seeing ‘her room’. I liked it and don’t regret it, but I could understand someone feeling it to be a cutesy half-measure that didn’t really add to the story.
Do I have any plans to follow up on this story, or to use the character(s) or situation in a subsequent fic?
I don’t foresee making any later use of the elements of this story, but as usual there are internal links to other Backstage stories. The Silk Tulip was mentioned clear back in “ Come to My Window”, Kung’r demons in “ Notes on an Opera Program” and in “ Rough Trade”; RT also referred to ‘that Delzpiyrian business’, and Solitaire Till Dawn” likewise has a mention of Delzpiyrian rites. (Additionally, “ Long Time Passing” mentions a Lund succubus … but, even though I’ve kept meaning to move LTP to the Backstage category, so far it remains an Independent story.)
Any observations to add at the end?
It just occurred to me: this is essentially a story with four characters, and three of them never appear. Faith’s feelings about Buffy (and Joyce and Dawn to a lesser extent) are a major part of what’s going on, but she never gets around to dealing with those feelings by dealing with the people. Blithely, recklessly, even suicidally brave, there are some fights she just won’t take on.