RE意識 (au contrant) | tvxq, au.
five of - ???
3011w.
ao3
“people are going crazy over sales back home today,” kiyiya gives a wistful sigh that has changmin’s brow going up. “i’ve never been more happy to be across the ocean, seriously, it’s madness over there. black friday is crazy.”
“i can only imagine. it’s been ages since i last touched foot in the americas, so i’m kind of out of the loop about it.” changmin laughs lightly. sometime during the day kiyiya managed to ease them away from jihye and yunho, completely leaving them to fend for themselves with the twins while they made time to bond. jihye had been relieved that changmin and kiyiya get along so well, and changmin can’t help but wonder if jihye was thinking about a time ago where someone else had her affections in his presence.
“you’re not what i expected, changmin.” kiyiya admits, moving to the side for a little kid on bike and keeping his gaze forward. “the way jihye describes you… she makes you sound like some kind of god, rising out of the water.”
“sorry to disappoint, though i think I’m fairly fortunate in concerns of the gene pool.”
“oh no, you’re gorgeous. i meant that you’re not as… wild, as she made you sound. not as fierce.”
“i would use the word primal, especially considering the circumstances then.” changmin ignores the complement and narrows his eyes, not sure if he’s insulted, but snorts when his mind produces the exact memory jihye must have told him of. “she told you about the hunting trip to the northern mountains, didn’t she.”
“she did. and i mean what i said mildly; you’re definitely a warrior, shim. i see the fire in you that she loves so much.” kiyiya gives changmin a small smile, eyes growing impossible darker. “forgive me that i’m thankful for what happened, changmin, i know it’s selfish.”
changmin stops in his tracks, seizing kiyiya’s gaze intensely when he stops in turn, knowing, allowing changmin to seek what it is he wants to find. slowly, changmin stares him down, his senses sharpen, and the city around them falls away. kiyiya’s scent sharpens in his nose, and changmin is pleased about what he finds in it: the truth. changmin knows from their brief friendship that kiyiya is a proud demon, rarely one to humble himself, and yet.
noise comes back to changmin’s ears, the world around them gains color again, and he returns kiyiya’s inquiring smile with a genuine one.
“i’m thankful, too. jihye found her happiness in you, a family. i couldn’t wish for anything more. i loved her more than i should have and she loved me back.” he admits, “i’m only partly vampire, so i am unsure how it works for full bloods, or those with regular half genes, but love like that doesn’t generally last among humans. humans change far too much far too quickly, and we might have ended up making one another miserable. so i’m glad it’s you, kiyiya. i’m joyful for the both of you.”
tension falls from kiyiya’s shoulders at the admission, he nods to changmin in understanding, and they continue their previous leisurely stride.
“she speaks so highly of you. i was fearful that perhaps you would resent our mating, resent me.”
offended, changmin’s brows snap down. “how could i resent someone i’ve never had the chance to meet for myself? i love jihye. i am not in love with jihye. she’s my bestfriend. after we were separated me wanting her to be happy never stopped. why would i ever resent someone who so obviously cares for her and loves her like she deserves?”
kiyiya’s gaze softens in a way that makes his eyes glint bright with the sun, and he shakes his head. “she also told me that you are one of the most unselfish people on the entirety of the earth. now i fully understand.”
“i am very greedy,” changmin rebuts, a sliver of vulnerability running down his spine at kiyiya’s knowing look. “my greed has nothing to do with being sane. or practical, for that matter.”
kiyiya hums, gently dismissing changmin in a way that reminds him too much of jihye, and he resists the urge to roll his eyes, failing, when kiyiya turns them into a small cafe and opens his mouth,
“so, any women in your life changmin? surely there is someone.”
“only if boa counts, which, let’s be clear here, she doesn’t,” changmin deadpans as they seat themselves and accept menu’s from the waiter.
“playing the field, then?”
“uh, the field of study. i’m a japanese literature student.”
“not even any men lurking around?” kiyiya chuckles, eyes roaming down the menu.
“any number of poets and intellectuals,” changmin snorts lightly. “not unless you count yunho, though he’s been pretty deep into his work lately, that and helping crystal with something or another. i just really, really don’t have time for pursuing another right now.”
“at the very least you have yunho. he is an unsettlingly fantastic cook.”
laughing, changmin sets his menu down. “now that you’re correct about. without him i’d probably eat one of my text books or starve until i triggered my hunger. there’s something i definitely don’t miss.”
“i wish jihye shared some of those culinary skills. the last time i let that girl play in the kitchen she turned frozen lasagna into a flaming brick. to the day i have no idea how she managed that.”
that image of that has changmin covering his mouth, laughing still when the waiter reappears to take their order. he almost choked on his water, and kiyiya orders for him instead.
jihye accepts the glass of wine with a grateful hum, looking for all the world like she doesn’t know what to do with her hands. her concealment spell gone, she looks more the way changmin remembered her. different with time yet still the same, her eyes a darker gold than her brothers, wolf ears at alert atop her dark head and small, wispy markings along inner arms, a single northern star on her inner left wrist.
“kiyiya’s pretty amazing, we had an excellent time today,” changmin murmurs as he sits across from jihye, legs folded under him. jihye nods, the corner of her mouth rising a notch.
“he told me that he really likes you, that he could see what i meant when i’m continuously lamenting your existence.”
“and here i thought you’d be angry over all the times i’d ruined your dates with the neighboring wolves.” changmin laughs lightly, feeling exceptionally warm.
“i was trying to piss you off and it worked, so,”
an almost awkward silence settles over them, changmin more than sure jihye can hear the skip in his heart beat. he wants to say something but his tongue dries-this is the first time they have been alone together since jihye arrived and for all their shared past, changmin feels small with her, like a stumbling child, foolish and unaware.
“changmin?”
“mm?”
jihye makes an incredulous sound, looks back at changmin in disbelief when he arches a brow in question.
“this is ridiculous-you sound just like him!” jihye groans. “you’re even doing that damned eyebrow thing!”
“what the hell are you even talking about?” changmin laughs, at ease with the sudden change in jihye’s attitude-whiny, loud, complaining jihye is his forte. the mated, serious, soon to be mother of three is still a stranger to him.
“i’m talking about yunho. he always does that uninterested ‘mmm’ and you just did the eyebrow thing he does.” jihye points out, accusatory and the beginnings of a pout forming. “you’re totally turning into him.”
“we do spend a lot of time together,” changmin’s brow goes higher, and jihye rolls her eyes. changmin chuckles. “i live with him, jiji.”
“as long as you stay you and don’t turn into a mini version of him, then it’s fine.” jihye widens her eyes and raises her wine glass. “one is enough.”
“he’s different now, you know that. he’s really not as terrible as he used to be.”
“it was aella that changed him, a woman he fell for during his time in the south americas.” jihye starts, eyes dimming as she mentally withdraws, going somewhere else, resembling her brother as the memories come. “no one had to say a word. we all knew, despite how hard he tried not to show it. aella didn’t though, she didn’t make a single gander or guess. we expected yunho to become worse, or bitter after what happened, but no. it took centuries to get him this far, so i was insanely worried when i left him. i thought he’d revert.”
“it does make me sad for him, that he went through that,” changmin admits softly.
“having you around helps,” jihye sighs, running her hand down the length of her braid and undoing it; her hair falls like water around her, and changmin reminds himself to breathe. “even though yunho appears to be a complete loner, he’s more a creature of pack than i am, and i have children. yunho needs people to look after.”
“you calling me incapable?” changmin smiles from behind his glass of wine, aiming for a lighter mood. jihye gets more serious with every word, and changmin is not afraid to admit to himself that he is just not ready for that.
“i’m saying that you manage to get into more trouble that anyone i’ve ever known, and i know min and jin. yunho’s probably the only person in the world that can keep up with and your wild ways,” jihye snorts, easing up instantly.
mildly offended, changmin gingerly reaches over, grabs a couch pillow, and throws it at her. jihye bats it away with a roll of her eyes, then sobers once more.
“hey, min?” jihye asks quietly, leaning forward, rolling the wine glass stem between her fingers. changmin looks at her, takes in how she seems to want to curl in ok herself, and feels his teeth lengthen out of habit, preparing to ward off anything bothering her.
“what is it, jihye?”
“kiyiya wanted me to ask-i mean, it’s alright if you say no, we’d both completely understand, but, if you wanted to, we’d really love it-”
jihye stops and takes in a nervous breath, hear ears flattening down as she freezes, so still that changmin worries she’ll hurt herself trying to get the words out of her mouth.
“tell me, ai.” changmin demands softly. jihye looks at him, kind of lights up at the old nickname. she swishes her wine and leans back.
“our kids, changmin. we would love for you to be the godfather.”
changmin’s world stills, tilts dangerously once again, and then tilts another time, “i would-” his throat closes, and he swallows thickly. “that would be nice, and i would be honored.”
changmin watches the weight lift from jihye’s shoulders, is forced to set his own wine glass aside as she crosses the table in a blur and makes herself at home in his lap. sighing, changmin thumbs a tear from jihye’s cheek, and hugs her close.
“thank you,” jihye whispers, voice thin. “it means the world to me.”
quiet, changmin lets jihye sit, the hold more than familiar as she lays her head on his shoulder. nostalgia wars with present day, and changmin tries to get a handle on how things have changed, and while jihye stays, he keeps it, needing the calm for as long as he sees her.
the silence between them settles, comfortable and light and welcome. the faint tang of salt hits the back of changmin’s nose, and he pulls away from jihye, looks at her and arches an eyebrow.
“are you seriously crying on my good sweater,” he deadpans, and, with a sniffle and an indignant little sound, jihye punches him in the chest hard enough to bruise, rises from her perch on his lap and puts a hand on her hip, the other wiping her face.
“fuck you, i don’t cry.”
“mm.”
“ugh you suck,”
changmin bares his teeth, canines lengthened and on display, and grins.
“that’s right.”
jihye raises both of her hands, notches her eyebrows, and flips him off before making her way to the door. “goodnight, changmin.”
changmin leans back as the door clicks shut, takes a deep inhale through his mouth, trying to keep that calm. the air tastes like the smell of snow and nothingness, clean, and still, it feels as if a crack runs down his centre, begins to widen. an ache rings through his body. with a flourish changmin stands, heads for the stairs and takes them one by one, each step quicker than the last.
yunho says nothing when changmin opens the door to his bedroom without knocking, is quieter still when changmin slips in and closes it behind him, watches for a second as yunho turns a page in his book, and then climbs onto the bed to lay atop the comforter. yunho doesn’t utter a single sound when changmin curls against his side, or when he puts an arm around him, allowing changmin to snuggle deeper, and he is blessedly silent as changmin’s blood tainted tears start, quiet sobs muffled by the edge of yunho’s shirt.
the pages of yunho’s book rustle as he sets it down, instead curls his frame around changmin, like a wolf protecting it’s pup tends to do.
changmin finds yunho’s hand, gives it a gentle squeeze, a thank you for protecting him. a thank you for sheltering him so readily.
.[ 04 | 06 ]
.comments are ♥
3011w.
ao3
“people are going crazy over sales back home today,” kiyiya gives a wistful sigh that has changmin’s brow going up. “i’ve never been more happy to be across the ocean, seriously, it’s madness over there. black friday is crazy.”
“i can only imagine. it’s been ages since i last touched foot in the americas, so i’m kind of out of the loop about it.” changmin laughs lightly. sometime during the day kiyiya managed to ease them away from jihye and yunho, completely leaving them to fend for themselves with the twins while they made time to bond. jihye had been relieved that changmin and kiyiya get along so well, and changmin can’t help but wonder if jihye was thinking about a time ago where someone else had her affections in his presence.
“you’re not what i expected, changmin.” kiyiya admits, moving to the side for a little kid on bike and keeping his gaze forward. “the way jihye describes you… she makes you sound like some kind of god, rising out of the water.”
“sorry to disappoint, though i think I’m fairly fortunate in concerns of the gene pool.”
“oh no, you’re gorgeous. i meant that you’re not as… wild, as she made you sound. not as fierce.”
“i would use the word primal, especially considering the circumstances then.” changmin ignores the complement and narrows his eyes, not sure if he’s insulted, but snorts when his mind produces the exact memory jihye must have told him of. “she told you about the hunting trip to the northern mountains, didn’t she.”
“she did. and i mean what i said mildly; you’re definitely a warrior, shim. i see the fire in you that she loves so much.” kiyiya gives changmin a small smile, eyes growing impossible darker. “forgive me that i’m thankful for what happened, changmin, i know it’s selfish.”
changmin stops in his tracks, seizing kiyiya’s gaze intensely when he stops in turn, knowing, allowing changmin to seek what it is he wants to find. slowly, changmin stares him down, his senses sharpen, and the city around them falls away. kiyiya’s scent sharpens in his nose, and changmin is pleased about what he finds in it: the truth. changmin knows from their brief friendship that kiyiya is a proud demon, rarely one to humble himself, and yet.
noise comes back to changmin’s ears, the world around them gains color again, and he returns kiyiya’s inquiring smile with a genuine one.
“i’m thankful, too. jihye found her happiness in you, a family. i couldn’t wish for anything more. i loved her more than i should have and she loved me back.” he admits, “i’m only partly vampire, so i am unsure how it works for full bloods, or those with regular half genes, but love like that doesn’t generally last among humans. humans change far too much far too quickly, and we might have ended up making one another miserable. so i’m glad it’s you, kiyiya. i’m joyful for the both of you.”
tension falls from kiyiya’s shoulders at the admission, he nods to changmin in understanding, and they continue their previous leisurely stride.
“she speaks so highly of you. i was fearful that perhaps you would resent our mating, resent me.”
offended, changmin’s brows snap down. “how could i resent someone i’ve never had the chance to meet for myself? i love jihye. i am not in love with jihye. she’s my bestfriend. after we were separated me wanting her to be happy never stopped. why would i ever resent someone who so obviously cares for her and loves her like she deserves?”
kiyiya’s gaze softens in a way that makes his eyes glint bright with the sun, and he shakes his head. “she also told me that you are one of the most unselfish people on the entirety of the earth. now i fully understand.”
“i am very greedy,” changmin rebuts, a sliver of vulnerability running down his spine at kiyiya’s knowing look. “my greed has nothing to do with being sane. or practical, for that matter.”
kiyiya hums, gently dismissing changmin in a way that reminds him too much of jihye, and he resists the urge to roll his eyes, failing, when kiyiya turns them into a small cafe and opens his mouth,
“so, any women in your life changmin? surely there is someone.”
“only if boa counts, which, let’s be clear here, she doesn’t,” changmin deadpans as they seat themselves and accept menu’s from the waiter.
“playing the field, then?”
“uh, the field of study. i’m a japanese literature student.”
“not even any men lurking around?” kiyiya chuckles, eyes roaming down the menu.
“any number of poets and intellectuals,” changmin snorts lightly. “not unless you count yunho, though he’s been pretty deep into his work lately, that and helping crystal with something or another. i just really, really don’t have time for pursuing another right now.”
“at the very least you have yunho. he is an unsettlingly fantastic cook.”
laughing, changmin sets his menu down. “now that you’re correct about. without him i’d probably eat one of my text books or starve until i triggered my hunger. there’s something i definitely don’t miss.”
“i wish jihye shared some of those culinary skills. the last time i let that girl play in the kitchen she turned frozen lasagna into a flaming brick. to the day i have no idea how she managed that.”
that image of that has changmin covering his mouth, laughing still when the waiter reappears to take their order. he almost choked on his water, and kiyiya orders for him instead.
jihye accepts the glass of wine with a grateful hum, looking for all the world like she doesn’t know what to do with her hands. her concealment spell gone, she looks more the way changmin remembered her. different with time yet still the same, her eyes a darker gold than her brothers, wolf ears at alert atop her dark head and small, wispy markings along inner arms, a single northern star on her inner left wrist.
“kiyiya’s pretty amazing, we had an excellent time today,” changmin murmurs as he sits across from jihye, legs folded under him. jihye nods, the corner of her mouth rising a notch.
“he told me that he really likes you, that he could see what i meant when i’m continuously lamenting your existence.”
“and here i thought you’d be angry over all the times i’d ruined your dates with the neighboring wolves.” changmin laughs lightly, feeling exceptionally warm.
“i was trying to piss you off and it worked, so,”
an almost awkward silence settles over them, changmin more than sure jihye can hear the skip in his heart beat. he wants to say something but his tongue dries-this is the first time they have been alone together since jihye arrived and for all their shared past, changmin feels small with her, like a stumbling child, foolish and unaware.
“changmin?”
“mm?”
jihye makes an incredulous sound, looks back at changmin in disbelief when he arches a brow in question.
“this is ridiculous-you sound just like him!” jihye groans. “you’re even doing that damned eyebrow thing!”
“what the hell are you even talking about?” changmin laughs, at ease with the sudden change in jihye’s attitude-whiny, loud, complaining jihye is his forte. the mated, serious, soon to be mother of three is still a stranger to him.
“i’m talking about yunho. he always does that uninterested ‘mmm’ and you just did the eyebrow thing he does.” jihye points out, accusatory and the beginnings of a pout forming. “you’re totally turning into him.”
“we do spend a lot of time together,” changmin’s brow goes higher, and jihye rolls her eyes. changmin chuckles. “i live with him, jiji.”
“as long as you stay you and don’t turn into a mini version of him, then it’s fine.” jihye widens her eyes and raises her wine glass. “one is enough.”
“he’s different now, you know that. he’s really not as terrible as he used to be.”
“it was aella that changed him, a woman he fell for during his time in the south americas.” jihye starts, eyes dimming as she mentally withdraws, going somewhere else, resembling her brother as the memories come. “no one had to say a word. we all knew, despite how hard he tried not to show it. aella didn’t though, she didn’t make a single gander or guess. we expected yunho to become worse, or bitter after what happened, but no. it took centuries to get him this far, so i was insanely worried when i left him. i thought he’d revert.”
“it does make me sad for him, that he went through that,” changmin admits softly.
“having you around helps,” jihye sighs, running her hand down the length of her braid and undoing it; her hair falls like water around her, and changmin reminds himself to breathe. “even though yunho appears to be a complete loner, he’s more a creature of pack than i am, and i have children. yunho needs people to look after.”
“you calling me incapable?” changmin smiles from behind his glass of wine, aiming for a lighter mood. jihye gets more serious with every word, and changmin is not afraid to admit to himself that he is just not ready for that.
“i’m saying that you manage to get into more trouble that anyone i’ve ever known, and i know min and jin. yunho’s probably the only person in the world that can keep up with and your wild ways,” jihye snorts, easing up instantly.
mildly offended, changmin gingerly reaches over, grabs a couch pillow, and throws it at her. jihye bats it away with a roll of her eyes, then sobers once more.
“hey, min?” jihye asks quietly, leaning forward, rolling the wine glass stem between her fingers. changmin looks at her, takes in how she seems to want to curl in ok herself, and feels his teeth lengthen out of habit, preparing to ward off anything bothering her.
“what is it, jihye?”
“kiyiya wanted me to ask-i mean, it’s alright if you say no, we’d both completely understand, but, if you wanted to, we’d really love it-”
jihye stops and takes in a nervous breath, hear ears flattening down as she freezes, so still that changmin worries she’ll hurt herself trying to get the words out of her mouth.
“tell me, ai.” changmin demands softly. jihye looks at him, kind of lights up at the old nickname. she swishes her wine and leans back.
“our kids, changmin. we would love for you to be the godfather.”
changmin’s world stills, tilts dangerously once again, and then tilts another time, “i would-” his throat closes, and he swallows thickly. “that would be nice, and i would be honored.”
changmin watches the weight lift from jihye’s shoulders, is forced to set his own wine glass aside as she crosses the table in a blur and makes herself at home in his lap. sighing, changmin thumbs a tear from jihye’s cheek, and hugs her close.
“thank you,” jihye whispers, voice thin. “it means the world to me.”
quiet, changmin lets jihye sit, the hold more than familiar as she lays her head on his shoulder. nostalgia wars with present day, and changmin tries to get a handle on how things have changed, and while jihye stays, he keeps it, needing the calm for as long as he sees her.
the silence between them settles, comfortable and light and welcome. the faint tang of salt hits the back of changmin’s nose, and he pulls away from jihye, looks at her and arches an eyebrow.
“are you seriously crying on my good sweater,” he deadpans, and, with a sniffle and an indignant little sound, jihye punches him in the chest hard enough to bruise, rises from her perch on his lap and puts a hand on her hip, the other wiping her face.
“fuck you, i don’t cry.”
“mm.”
“ugh you suck,”
changmin bares his teeth, canines lengthened and on display, and grins.
“that’s right.”
jihye raises both of her hands, notches her eyebrows, and flips him off before making her way to the door. “goodnight, changmin.”
changmin leans back as the door clicks shut, takes a deep inhale through his mouth, trying to keep that calm. the air tastes like the smell of snow and nothingness, clean, and still, it feels as if a crack runs down his centre, begins to widen. an ache rings through his body. with a flourish changmin stands, heads for the stairs and takes them one by one, each step quicker than the last.
yunho says nothing when changmin opens the door to his bedroom without knocking, is quieter still when changmin slips in and closes it behind him, watches for a second as yunho turns a page in his book, and then climbs onto the bed to lay atop the comforter. yunho doesn’t utter a single sound when changmin curls against his side, or when he puts an arm around him, allowing changmin to snuggle deeper, and he is blessedly silent as changmin’s blood tainted tears start, quiet sobs muffled by the edge of yunho’s shirt.
the pages of yunho’s book rustle as he sets it down, instead curls his frame around changmin, like a wolf protecting it’s pup tends to do.
changmin finds yunho’s hand, gives it a gentle squeeze, a thank you for protecting him. a thank you for sheltering him so readily.
.[ 04 | 06 ]
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