Somewhere in This City is a Road I Know

Mar 09, 2010 19:14

Title: Somewhere in This City is a Road I Know
Author: abandonedmem
Fandom: Chuck
Pairing: Chuck/Sarah
Spoilers: Slight spoilers for 3.09
Summary: When he closes his eyes he can see them sitting on their front porch in some distant landscape, far away from the lies and covers, too distant and secluded for the CIA to find them or even care.

When he closes his eyes he can see them sitting on their front porch in some distant landscape, far away from the lies and covers, too distant and secluded for the CIA to find them or even care.

When he closes his eyes he goes with her. They board the train in Prague hand in hand and she smiles at him in a way she never has before.

He doesn’t have to flash. She doesn’t have to lie. They don’t go on late night missions or pretend to be a couple. In the mornings they wake up next to each other, she drags him along on hikes; he reads her his favorite sci-fi novels.

She even tells him one night that her real name is Sam, but it doesn’t matter because Sarah Walker is who she is, who she wants to be.

It’s a simple life, but it’s real. And that’s all he ever really wanted.

-

When he opens his eyes he is sitting behind the Nerd Herd desk at the Buy More. Casey motions for him to follow and he comes up with some lie to tell Jeff and Lester about his disappearance. The watch he wears so Casey and Sarah can track him feels heavier each day.

When he opens his eyes he remembers that he left her. He can still taste the disappointment from her lips and still feels the slight shake of her hands as he handed his ticket back to her. She had been so desperate to make him realize that this was his last shot at a normal life, but he was blinded by his newfound sense of duty to listen to her.

If he doesn’t flash he gets benched. She says he can talk to her about it, but he’s not sure he’s ready for that. The late night missions are easier now that Morgan knows. He doesn’t have to make up excuses for coming home at random hours of the night. He studies spy tactics and defense moves instead of playing Call of Duty. Sarah doesn’t offer to buy him frozen yogurt.

He learns one day that her name is Sam. He’s listening to a conversation she’s having with Shaw and he can’t believe what he’s hearing. This girl, Sam, seems nice and genuine and fragile. He just doesn’t want Sarah to go away.

But that’s his life now. Sarah could be gone in an instant and so could he.

-

When he closes his eyes he can hear the rain fall on the roof of their cabin. They’re huddled by the fire reading a postcard from Ellie and Awesome that he’s not sure how Sarah got, but he doesn’t care. Leaving his sister behind was hard, but even if they can’t be close to each other at least they’re both happy.

Sarah sets up a picnic for them by the lake every Sunday afternoon. Eventually he learns how to fish and she’s so proud when he shows up, fish in hand, for the first time.
Years pass until they see a familiar face. His father tracked them down one warm July morning with a way to get the intersect out of his head. He says it’s safe for them to come home. This little house is their home and he’s reluctant to leave, but deep down he knows he wants to raise his family around the people he loves. They can find another cabin by another lake and he can build another swing. As long as she was with him the rest didn’t matter.

-

When he opens his eyes he can see the look in hers. The look that tells him that, when her eyes are closed, maybe she sees the cabin and the lake and the swing too.

Sarah gently helps him to bed when he gets hurt on a mission. Eventually he passes out from the medicine, but before he does he swears he sees her smile like she used to.

He knows he was only trying to save some part of himself in Prague and in doing so he lost her. Between trying to bury the pain and make things right, they went into some type of holding pattern, afraid of saying or doing anything to mess things up more.

Weeks pass before they make any real progress. His dad shows up one day to take the intersect out, but the new technology is too complicated, not that he really wanted to get rid of it anyway. It was an undeniable part of him now. But he tells her he’s sorry anyway, knowing part of her wanted it out of him. She smiles at him in a way she never has before and tells him, intersect or not, all she ever wanted was him. They have a lot to work through, but it’s a start.

They get some much needed vacation time and go to some distant landscape, far away from anything resembling a lie or a cover, too distant and secluded for the CIA to ruin it. In the mornings they wake up next to each other, she drags him along on hikes; he reads her his favorite sci-fi novels.

He can imagine them living there and is reluctant to leave, but he knows that their relationship is strong enough to survive anything. The missions and all the unknowns their lives presented were scary, but as long as she was with him none of it mattered. They’d get through it together.

chuck, fic

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