[028] 24 December 1997.
CHARMED PRIVATE TO ERNIE MACMILLAN, SUSAN BONES, AND ZACHARIAS SMITH.
How am I supposed to -- I don't know if I should even be telling the rest of you this, just in case Justin's mother only wanted -- We really ought to --
Ernie, Susan, and Zacharias -- I tried calling Justin and his parents earlier today like I said I would a little while earlier. I got his mother thank God someone picked up at the other end, I was so afraid that maybe Death Eaters had -- and, oh, I really don't know how to say this, but Justin wasn't there, of course, she said she hadn't seen him since August just like the rest of us hadn't heard from him since then and they have no idea where he is right now exactly and he hasn't got in touch with his parents at all since, not even for Christmas, and I think -- oh, I really don't know, I think I got really upset and couldn't really hear what she was saying sometimes, and I think she was going to cry and I guess I know what it's like not to have someone in your family around, but I don't know what it's like for a mother and not to know if -- and I just felt so awful for her and his father and everything -- she said he'd told them not to get in touch with him for their own safety, and I guess they haven't, but maybe they have and he's just not answering, right?
Oh, that's all really awful, isn't it? I can't imagine what it must be like for her exactly why do so many of us have to go through this without someone in the family we love and --, but I think there was some good news too, or at least it's relatively good when you think about what else could have happened -- he's alive, or at the very worst, he was several weeks ago, but I'd really rather think that he's still here and he's just being careful right now. His mother said that he took some money out of his bank account three weeks ago and he seems to have been doing that once a month since he disappeared and he always does it somewhere different -- and that last time was in Nantes, but I've never heard of it before. It sounds French, doesn't it? Do you think maybe he ran away to France once everything started going terribly wrong, and oh, even if it's not Azkaban, and I know that's where they must be taking them because Dad said he'd heard about it when he went to his --, I'm really worried about him. I mean, he's bright enough, I think, but I can't help thinking he must be having a hard time looking after himself right now, and does he even know any French? They do speak some English in France, don't they? Oh, I hope he isn't going hungry, and I wish I could send him some socks or food or something, although I guess he's got enough money not to have to worry about those sorts of things. I wish I could take care of him and make sure he's all right, he must be so scared right now and --
Oh God, I'm being stupid and wasting everyone's time writing all of that rubbish. I'm so sorry about making so much of it about me when it's really about him and his parents and how awful all of this must be for them right now. Do you think I should tell the others? Is it safe? I know Justin's mother trusted me enough to tell me all of that and I don't want to betray that trust. Do you think maybe we should visit the Finch-Fletchleys some time too? They must be very lonely right now, and it's Christmas after all, and I know I can't do anything to make things better for them right now, but I wouldn't want them to feel too lonely what we went through last year without Mum, I wouldn't want anyone else to --, but then again, perhaps they just want to be left alone right now, especially if we can't completely understand what they myst be going through? I really don't know and I wish I was clever enough to know what to do about all of this, but I really don't know.
I didn't even remember it was my birthday today after the phone call until I got Anthony's card, and oh, usually, it would be Justin calling me today to say 'Happy birthday' rather than me having to telephone his parents to find out if he's even still alive. Oh, I'm being stupid -- why am I being so selfish and writing about myself again when this is supposed to be about Justin? How can I be so awful?
/ PRIVATE