New Applicant
BASICS:
Name: I can't tell you because my father could find all my posts that way. Let's just say I'm Tara. But here, I'll give you a hint as to what my real name is. My email address is shana.haydock@gmail.com
Gender/Sex/Affiliation: female, resplendently so
Age: almost seventeen. My birthday is on September 10.
Location: Hyderabad, India
INQUISITIONS:
What attracted you to this community? Well, I typed in "mental illness" while searching for communities, and this popped up in the list. I'm not sure how much this community deals with mental illness - but I'm hoping it'll accept me no matter how many mental illnesses I have, at the very least... Also, I kind of like rating communities, though I've been rejected a number of times and I hate that. But this rating community seems different, like a place where at least your looks aren't judged.. to say the least.
What is the highest level of school completed? I finished eleventh grade in May, and now I'm in twelfth grade.
What are some of your major interests/hobbies? I write, the way a crow keeps trying to dig into a pot for water, even though the mouth of the pot is too small for the crow to reach in and get the water. (If that didn't make any sense to you, well, I was just drawing on one of Aesop's Fables. I think it's Aesop's Fables, anyway.)
What about the human psyche most appeals to you, and why? The way it's so indeterminate. It's hard to put any definite word to the human psyche, I mean to say it's hard to describe the human psyche. Every word you use is controversial and subject to a million questions. I love that humans are complex creatures. Some people love simplicity, but I love complexity.
Type of music most enjoyed: Slow, rollicking tunes, with fuckable voices.
Books/authors: Pages for You by Sylvia Brownrigg, the Jessica Darling series by Megan McCafferty, The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy and Harry Potter
Something special or beautiful about your brain: It's hard to answer this question because lately I've been feeling so low about myself. But
Are you an artist or writer? If yes, please post some of your work. Both. I'll write part of a poem right here, a new poem. I'm in a poem mood anyway.
truth be told,
you knew all along.
darling, you knew
stale black kohl couldn't last.
lingering telltale fur and the way you smiled
when you said you'd be back,
you'd always be back.
yes, I know you now
love's quit on me, but that's okay
because yodelling smiles couldn't have drowned out
the music.
poor you. poor baby. hurry up, child,
we've got a long way to go and only a moment
to waste.
intensely brown-fingernailed, therapy
wouldn't have cured you.
but this will.
oh yes it will, like the way I wanted you to fuck me
behind the bushes at the hotel.
statements of rouge, magical depth,
queering out the refraction of
pencils in water.
trying too hard, ultimately there's only plastic blood
purple eyeshadow smearing out the lies,
and finally, I'm gone, baby,
gone gone gone gone gone.
And here's the best painting I've ever made:
What color was George Washington's white horse? white, I presume, though I know so little of American history I wouldn't be surprised if it was actually some other colour.
OPINIONS:
Organized religion: I respect believers' intentions, but I also tend to agree with Marx's statement, "Religion is the opium of the masses."
Society: Made to make people conform to norms. Sets norms that are both unnecessary and unbelievable. Society is, eventually, possibly, the root of our decline.
The occult/paranormal: I'd rather not believe in all that myself. It's an entertaining possibility, but also an escape from reality.
The environment: Important to preserve. Without our environment and nature to save us, we'd have become extinct long ago.
The Arts: Expressions of passion, fire, intensity, love, life, everything. The one thing that makes life worth living.
The Sciences: Science tries too much to oversimplify, but at the same time is important because without it, people would make far too many blunders and be wrapped up in their fears far too much.
Drugs: Recreational drugs are a waste of time and energy, but some people feel it's their only escape, their only route to a better world. I say, try to find a better way.
Pornography: The ultimate exploitation of saner minds, of women. One of those absolute evils.
I've often been accused of having close-minded opinions, but, well, just because you disagree with me doesn't give you the license to rule out my opinions completely.
I'm also way too defensive at times. Ah well.
WORD ASSOCIATIONS:
List the first word that comes to your mind after the following-
Nun: black
Blood: gore
Cerebral: palsy
Library: freedom
Words: sentences
Butter: cream
Mirror: gateway
Lord: evil
Semen: disgusting (okay, okay, I KNOW I have to improve on this. Semen is not disgusting, it's natural. But for some reason the first thing I imagine is this scene from a movie I watched once, where a young boy smears his semen on the locker of his crush...... which is DISGUSTING.....)
Heart: love
Manic: depression
Revolver: kill
Cut: self-pity
IMAGES:
Post 3 or more random images that express who you are (None of yourself!!):
Okay, these are all from deviantart.com and I'll write the artists' usernames underneath, along with the titles.
Aerosol Candy 2 by asunderom
This picture kind of displays to me what I'd like to look like. What I'd like to dress like. I especially like the lipstick, and the red hair fading into black, and the key on the chain around her neck. But I live in India and I'd probably be ostracized forever and harrassed to the greatest extent if I looked like this. Tell me I'm a wannabe, but I honestly don't care anymore. Okay, well, I do care a little bit. But whatever. I want to look like this.
Bad Kiss by complejodu
This picture illustrates how love, even in its purest form, is not tolerated by society. It always comes along with some kind of hurt, some kind of rejection by society, something or other. That's how I feel about love now.
I forget the name and artist of this picture. I just remember it came off deviantart. I hope it's okay to post it. It's a picture I love because it illustrates the innocence of childhood. Maybe that's a cliche, but it's also kind of true in my case.