Getting Closer Than Perhaps Expected

[abeautifulghost]

Reading through a few pages of responses to this seemingly harmless question, I have reached two conclusions as to the outcome of such a situation - that being, "crushing" on a BFF:

1. A small percentage of happy marriages averaging at least a decade in duration  (take THAT, Hollywood)

2. Death. Death. Chaos. Destruction. Anarchy. Omg.

So, a mixed bag

Comments

[damnherfortress]

Interesting, BevWISE.

It really is a touchy subject. I mean, there's the whole, "Don't risk what we've got already", thing, isn't there? But by not risking that, you could also be subject to giving up a chance at having a *REALLY AWESOME* relationship.

:/ :/

PS - sorry I'm a sucky LJ friend, lol. BUT I REALLY AM SUCKY @ LJ.

-prods rotting carcass of her own LJ-

[abeautifulghost]

'Tis touchy indeed. I think the "risking what we've got already" is a natural fear -- it definetly a choice which would have come up for anyone involved in such a situation; risk ruining a perfectly good friendship/best-friendship, or potentially gaining everything

Because in the worst case scenario, things are never really the same again, are they? There's no, "oh okay, lets just go back to normal and forget I ever said I loved you. Want a chip?"

All or nothing? - Pretty much what it all comes down to. And God do I hate that question most of all XD
Pretty sure its the reason I have difficulty watching shows like 'Deal or No Deal'

PS: You're the best LJ friend ever. no jks ♥ ♥

[damnherfortress]

I HATE DEAL OR NO DEAL.

I HATE IT WHEN THEY LOSE.

[abeautifulghost]

I agree - my family members from the older generation categorize every male friendship I have as "suspicious". Despite getting a little more comfortable with the concept as of late, it hasn't stopped me from getting this every now and then:

"What, you want to go out for the day? Just you and ______?"
Then I get The Look

hah.

The only platonic friendship my parents really accept between a male and I is one where we've already gotten the relationship over and done with.

I would be interested in exploring why the younger generation is closer platonically than the older one. Perhaps its a combination of the breakdown of old social expectations - like women being strictly feminine and the pressure to marry - and the increased access to technology and communications. Networking sites like MySpace and *gasp* Facebook, mobile phones as common and lollies, MSN, etc... it all starts to add up.
Hmm

Interesting thoughts, my faithful muse
Adoration coming your way, as always =)
♥

[abeautifulghost]

Hmm. Reading Robert Morton's essay on the subject, I've found him to have a rather optimistic opinion of the male-female friendship -- personally, it doesn't sit with me. He has yet to provide sound evidence other than "true friends wont do _____, or _____..."

But in my opinion, I believe Boteach's bottom line stands as the best advice so far:
Separate the casual from the intense, and the romantic from the friendly.

Good luck to you~