FIC: i've been missing you, part 1 K/L - AU (M)
Title: i've been missing you, part 1
Author: abelard
Rating: M
Spoilers: through end of season 2
Pairing: apollo/starbuck
Disclaimers: not mine
Summary: an au fic, on earth, 2006.
A/N: i know i am terrible, terrible, for not working on chasm and flood. i'm sorry! i'm going to work on it tonight, i really, really am. really.
Shit, thought Lee Adama, walking out of the Baltar Industries building on 56th and 7th. Goddamn Baltar. He didn't know what the hell he was asking for when he asked Lee and his father to do weapons testing according to his specs. Lee knew Baltar was a scientific genius, he just wished the man showed half as much aptitude at morality.
Lee walked along the grey streets, the glass skyscrapers mirroring the grey, dark sky. It would rain tonight, for sure. Just what Lee needed. His girlfriend would be pissed enough without his flight being delayed. They'd had a fight as Lee was packing to go on this trip; she was talking about marriage again. Lee knew he should want to, he was the right age, and he loved Dee, didn't he? And they'd been together for more than a year, practically lived together, so it was logical. Natural. But Lee's heart didn't ring at the prospect. He had an inkling what true love felt like. Just like he had an inkling what working at a job he loved felt like. He had neither of those things in his life. He knew he'd have to decide soon, whether to break up with Dee b/c he couldn't commit to her as a husband, or whether to settle into years - hell, if he wasn't careful, it could turn into a lifetime - of mere contentment with her.
In the nearly colorless day, a flash of gold, a bright honey hue, caught Lee's eye. He stopped and turned as he followed the head of hair and the body attached to it, walking down the opposite sidewalk, walking downtown while Lee was walking up. Long blonde hair, tied at the nape in a ponytail, and a charcoal trenchcoat cinched tight around her waist, showing off her hips, her shoulders square, her hands in her pockets. The heels seemed unlike her, and the hair was too long, but her stride....It could be....
Lee crossed the street taking long, hurried steps, and broke into a jog after the woman. "Kara!" he yelled. She didn't turn. Maybe he was wrong. "Kara!" he tried again, cupping his hands around his mouth, doubling his volume.
She stopped. She turned. Shock and then a slow smile, a widening of her hazel-green eyes. Lee couldn't believe it. It was Kara Thrace. His dead brother's fiancee - Zak's last love. He hadn't seen her since the funeral, not that he hadn't thought about calling her several times a year. Damn, but it was good to see her again.
They walked towards each other and met in the middle. "Lee," Kara said, her voice low. The way her eyes were watering, despite her smile, Lee knew she was thinking of the funeral, too. She still missed Zak. Of course she does, Lee chastised himself. They were *engaged*.
"Kara, I..." This was stupid, standing and talking without even a handshake. But a handshake seemed ridiculous, too, they'd almost been family. Lee spontaneously put his arms around her in a hug that was probably too close and too long, but hell, it had been three years, and they were almost family, right?
Kara returned the pressure of his hug, her arms folded around his back, one of her hands just grazing the skin of his neck where it peeked over his white shirt collar.
They drew back, and Lee held onto her hands as he looked at her. "Your hair!" he said, shaking his head. "I never thought I'd see..."
"Oh, I know, it's too long," Kara said, a hand breaking free of Lee's and reaching up to her ponytail for a moment.
"I like it," Lee said. "Look at you," he glanced again at her black high heels, her bare calves, the way the trenchcoat showcased her figure. She must be wearing a dress under that coat. Lee's mouth dropped open just a little at the prospect of seeing Kara in a dress. "You're dressed like a girl!" he teased, smiling. The Kara he knew would have killed a man for suggesting she put on something besides her standard attire: her military uniform, or, in her off-duty hours, jeans and a tank top.
"Well, I guess leaving the Air Force made me rethink my stand on fashion," she said, rolling her eyes as if ashamed at herself.
"You look great," Lee said honestly. He'd always thought Kara was beautiful in her way, which was completely devoid of makeup or any attempt at style, but the way she looked now, she was gorgeous.
"So do you," Kara said, and he'd forgotten the effect her voice had on him. She took him in, from his well-polished shoes to his dark suit and blue tie to his heavy black overcoat, and something in her expression told him she meant it when she said he looked good, she was noticing his looks. He'd thought, once or twice when Zak was alive, that Kara looked at him with a little bit of interest, nothing improper, of course, nothing out of line, or even close. But that feeling he got whenever he noticed her noticing him...he was feeling it again. "It's good to see you again," she murmured.
"Where are you going? Will you have a drink with me?" Lee looked heavenward. "It'll start pouring soon. It'd be best to get indoors right away." He knew it was too much, a step over the line of "desperate," but he could think of nothing better than spending a few hours with Kara Thrace. He'd cancel his flight - surely all flights would be delayed anyway by the impending rainstorm.
She was conflicted. Lee braced himself for the excuses she'd make. "Well, my husband is waiting for me to get home," she said, an apology in her face. Nothing could have braced Lee for that. Her husband? Husband?
"You're...married?" His head tilted, as if he was unused to hearing the word, let alone saying it.
"Yeah." Kara bit her lip and looked down, then back up. She was frowning. "It took me a long time to get over him." They both knew she was talking about Zak. "After the accident....I lost Zak, you, your father, and the military all in one month. It was really tough going there, for a long while."
Lee and his father had resigned their commissions, just as Kara had, after Zak's death. None of them felt right about how they'd always put the Air Force first, obsessing over their military duty, prodding Zak to pursue their dream even though it wasn't his. But it had been Kara's choice not to stay in touch. She'd asked them, right after the funeral, to respect her wishes to be left alone. The Old Man had asked when she'd get in touch again, and she'd responded, sorrowfully, I love you like a father, but I don't know if I can ever be in touch again. I'm sorry. That was what prevented Lee from calling her every time he pulled her number up on his cell phone.
Lee sighed. "You should have reached out to us, if you were having a hard time. We would have helped you out."
"You would have wanted to; I know you," Kara said. "But I needed to..." She looked away from his face again. Lee realized she was having trouble looking at him, that whenever they made eye contact it was because she was forcing herself to. "I needed distance. I couldn't be around you - both of you - it just felt...." She huffed, struggling for the words.
"It's okay, I understand," Lee said. Even though he didn't and desperately wanted to. When Zak died, he had assumed that he would be able to be there for Kara, that they could...comfort each other, help each other. Be friends. But even as the word "friends" entered his mind, Lee knew it to be a lie. Being Kara's friend wasn't what he wanted. For a moment, he was overcome with the shame he'd felt those years ago, wanting something from his would-be sister-in-law that he was too mortified to consciously acknowledge.
"I met Sam a year ago, and for the first time, I felt normal again. I felt, I don't know, real. Like I'd been dreaming, and then suddenly woke up again. He's good for me," Kara said. She was looking to the side.
Lee put his right hand on her cheek. Kara started at the contact, but didn't move away. Slowly, he cupped the side of her face and raised her head until she had nowhere to look but his eyes. She hadn't said she loved her husband. That wasn't what she'd said. What Lee saw in Kara's face only made him want to hear more, about her, about what she'd been doing, where she was living, what she really wanted.
"Come have a drink with me," Lee said. It wasn't a request. He wouldn't accept a no.
Kara swallowed. Did Lee imagine it, or did she lean, however slightly, into his hand as she nodded. "All right," she said.
They walked side by side in silence to an elegant boutique hotel around the corner that Lee knew had a good bar, and the minute they stepped inside, the skies unleashed a torrent on the world.
Author: abelard
Rating: M
Spoilers: through end of season 2
Pairing: apollo/starbuck
Disclaimers: not mine
Summary: an au fic, on earth, 2006.
A/N: i know i am terrible, terrible, for not working on chasm and flood. i'm sorry! i'm going to work on it tonight, i really, really am. really.
Shit, thought Lee Adama, walking out of the Baltar Industries building on 56th and 7th. Goddamn Baltar. He didn't know what the hell he was asking for when he asked Lee and his father to do weapons testing according to his specs. Lee knew Baltar was a scientific genius, he just wished the man showed half as much aptitude at morality.
Lee walked along the grey streets, the glass skyscrapers mirroring the grey, dark sky. It would rain tonight, for sure. Just what Lee needed. His girlfriend would be pissed enough without his flight being delayed. They'd had a fight as Lee was packing to go on this trip; she was talking about marriage again. Lee knew he should want to, he was the right age, and he loved Dee, didn't he? And they'd been together for more than a year, practically lived together, so it was logical. Natural. But Lee's heart didn't ring at the prospect. He had an inkling what true love felt like. Just like he had an inkling what working at a job he loved felt like. He had neither of those things in his life. He knew he'd have to decide soon, whether to break up with Dee b/c he couldn't commit to her as a husband, or whether to settle into years - hell, if he wasn't careful, it could turn into a lifetime - of mere contentment with her.
In the nearly colorless day, a flash of gold, a bright honey hue, caught Lee's eye. He stopped and turned as he followed the head of hair and the body attached to it, walking down the opposite sidewalk, walking downtown while Lee was walking up. Long blonde hair, tied at the nape in a ponytail, and a charcoal trenchcoat cinched tight around her waist, showing off her hips, her shoulders square, her hands in her pockets. The heels seemed unlike her, and the hair was too long, but her stride....It could be....
Lee crossed the street taking long, hurried steps, and broke into a jog after the woman. "Kara!" he yelled. She didn't turn. Maybe he was wrong. "Kara!" he tried again, cupping his hands around his mouth, doubling his volume.
She stopped. She turned. Shock and then a slow smile, a widening of her hazel-green eyes. Lee couldn't believe it. It was Kara Thrace. His dead brother's fiancee - Zak's last love. He hadn't seen her since the funeral, not that he hadn't thought about calling her several times a year. Damn, but it was good to see her again.
They walked towards each other and met in the middle. "Lee," Kara said, her voice low. The way her eyes were watering, despite her smile, Lee knew she was thinking of the funeral, too. She still missed Zak. Of course she does, Lee chastised himself. They were *engaged*.
"Kara, I..." This was stupid, standing and talking without even a handshake. But a handshake seemed ridiculous, too, they'd almost been family. Lee spontaneously put his arms around her in a hug that was probably too close and too long, but hell, it had been three years, and they were almost family, right?
Kara returned the pressure of his hug, her arms folded around his back, one of her hands just grazing the skin of his neck where it peeked over his white shirt collar.
They drew back, and Lee held onto her hands as he looked at her. "Your hair!" he said, shaking his head. "I never thought I'd see..."
"Oh, I know, it's too long," Kara said, a hand breaking free of Lee's and reaching up to her ponytail for a moment.
"I like it," Lee said. "Look at you," he glanced again at her black high heels, her bare calves, the way the trenchcoat showcased her figure. She must be wearing a dress under that coat. Lee's mouth dropped open just a little at the prospect of seeing Kara in a dress. "You're dressed like a girl!" he teased, smiling. The Kara he knew would have killed a man for suggesting she put on something besides her standard attire: her military uniform, or, in her off-duty hours, jeans and a tank top.
"Well, I guess leaving the Air Force made me rethink my stand on fashion," she said, rolling her eyes as if ashamed at herself.
"You look great," Lee said honestly. He'd always thought Kara was beautiful in her way, which was completely devoid of makeup or any attempt at style, but the way she looked now, she was gorgeous.
"So do you," Kara said, and he'd forgotten the effect her voice had on him. She took him in, from his well-polished shoes to his dark suit and blue tie to his heavy black overcoat, and something in her expression told him she meant it when she said he looked good, she was noticing his looks. He'd thought, once or twice when Zak was alive, that Kara looked at him with a little bit of interest, nothing improper, of course, nothing out of line, or even close. But that feeling he got whenever he noticed her noticing him...he was feeling it again. "It's good to see you again," she murmured.
"Where are you going? Will you have a drink with me?" Lee looked heavenward. "It'll start pouring soon. It'd be best to get indoors right away." He knew it was too much, a step over the line of "desperate," but he could think of nothing better than spending a few hours with Kara Thrace. He'd cancel his flight - surely all flights would be delayed anyway by the impending rainstorm.
She was conflicted. Lee braced himself for the excuses she'd make. "Well, my husband is waiting for me to get home," she said, an apology in her face. Nothing could have braced Lee for that. Her husband? Husband?
"You're...married?" His head tilted, as if he was unused to hearing the word, let alone saying it.
"Yeah." Kara bit her lip and looked down, then back up. She was frowning. "It took me a long time to get over him." They both knew she was talking about Zak. "After the accident....I lost Zak, you, your father, and the military all in one month. It was really tough going there, for a long while."
Lee and his father had resigned their commissions, just as Kara had, after Zak's death. None of them felt right about how they'd always put the Air Force first, obsessing over their military duty, prodding Zak to pursue their dream even though it wasn't his. But it had been Kara's choice not to stay in touch. She'd asked them, right after the funeral, to respect her wishes to be left alone. The Old Man had asked when she'd get in touch again, and she'd responded, sorrowfully, I love you like a father, but I don't know if I can ever be in touch again. I'm sorry. That was what prevented Lee from calling her every time he pulled her number up on his cell phone.
Lee sighed. "You should have reached out to us, if you were having a hard time. We would have helped you out."
"You would have wanted to; I know you," Kara said. "But I needed to..." She looked away from his face again. Lee realized she was having trouble looking at him, that whenever they made eye contact it was because she was forcing herself to. "I needed distance. I couldn't be around you - both of you - it just felt...." She huffed, struggling for the words.
"It's okay, I understand," Lee said. Even though he didn't and desperately wanted to. When Zak died, he had assumed that he would be able to be there for Kara, that they could...comfort each other, help each other. Be friends. But even as the word "friends" entered his mind, Lee knew it to be a lie. Being Kara's friend wasn't what he wanted. For a moment, he was overcome with the shame he'd felt those years ago, wanting something from his would-be sister-in-law that he was too mortified to consciously acknowledge.
"I met Sam a year ago, and for the first time, I felt normal again. I felt, I don't know, real. Like I'd been dreaming, and then suddenly woke up again. He's good for me," Kara said. She was looking to the side.
Lee put his right hand on her cheek. Kara started at the contact, but didn't move away. Slowly, he cupped the side of her face and raised her head until she had nowhere to look but his eyes. She hadn't said she loved her husband. That wasn't what she'd said. What Lee saw in Kara's face only made him want to hear more, about her, about what she'd been doing, where she was living, what she really wanted.
"Come have a drink with me," Lee said. It wasn't a request. He wouldn't accept a no.
Kara swallowed. Did Lee imagine it, or did she lean, however slightly, into his hand as she nodded. "All right," she said.
They walked side by side in silence to an elegant boutique hotel around the corner that Lee knew had a good bar, and the minute they stepped inside, the skies unleashed a torrent on the world.