cocksuckermotherfuckertits. cocksuckermotherfuckertits.
My dad asked me what my ideal job would be and I said trophy wife and he started offering me advice on how to achieve this and I think he was serious.
FIFTEEN THINGS YOU SHOULD ALREADY KNOW ABOUT ME
1. It is next to impossible for me to forgive stupidity.
2. I have no intention whatsoever of staying in this state after I graduate from the university I never really liked. Underneath all this resentment lies a deep dark secret.
3. I am a fountain of useless knowledge. I retain everything that will not increase my GPA.
4. Disabling comments is my favourite thing ever, and I do it when I'm certain I wouldn't get any comments anyway.
5. I think I do my best writing when I'm annoyed.
6. I actively try not to seem attention-seeking. This is why I won't give anyone I know the link to this place, even though I would love it if some of my friends and family read it.
7. For the most part I favour British spelling. I did not start doing that when I lived in England; I've actually been doing it off and on since the sixth grade. I spell words whichever way I think they look the best. To me, realise looks way better than realize while fetus looks better than foetus.
8. I am not easily embarrassed. Once I swallowed pool water and thusly vomited and they had to close the pool for the rest of the day and this happened when I was nineteen and when we left I was all, 'you guys I'm hungry D:' Another time I was out of town for my cousin's wedding and whoops that's my period and I don't have tampons and it's Sunday or some shit and nothing is open. (lol I changed tenses mid-sentence, did you see that?) Anyway my dad goes to his six sisters and he's like 'DO ANY OF YOU HAVE TAMPONS BECAUSE ERIN IS ON HER PERIOD AND DOESN'T HAVE ANY AND IF YOU DON'T COULD YOU PLEASE ASK YOUR DAUGHTERS IF THEY HAVE ANY TAMPONS FOR ERIN.' It didn't even faze me.
9. The reason I never talk about what I did today, what my friend said that was so funny, why this boy is confusing me, or whatever else may be going on in my life is because it is not interesting. I used to post that kind of shit, years ago, and going back and reading those entries is just fucking embarrassing.
10. I am extremely opinionated about music and I won't apologise if I offend you by talking smack about a shitty band you like. I don't try to start drama, though; if I know you like an artist I don't, I am usually successful at keeping things to myself.
11. In the same vein, I'm allowed to dish it out because I can take it. If someone says something negative about Hanson or Mika or Robert Plant or whoever, I'm not dumb enough to take it personally. It's not personal. The scads of people who will say 'Robert Plant totally sucked when he went solo' are not making a judgment on me, so what's the fucking point of getting all upset? I like his shitty solo albums and you can suck my dick if that bothers you.
12. Jeff Goldblum scares the shit out of me. (I have recently realised that Warren Beatty does, too. How much he scares me is directly proportionate to his age. Splendor in the Grass? Not so scary. Dick Tracy? Get the fuck away.)
13. Although I do love cats, I am most definitely a dog person.
14. I have no idea what I want to do with my life and I do not feel guilty about this.
15. I take great pride in my DVD collection.
FIFTEEN THINGS YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT ME
1. I was obsessed with Michael Jackson when I was about sixteen. Well actually if you want the whole story, I was obsessed when Dangerous came out (I would have been six), and then it levelled off for several years, and then it picked up again, and no, I don't know why. My love for him still comes out sometimes, like when I go over to my friend's house and everyone's watching a concert DVD and I start squealing at everything.
2. The actual study part of my study abroad experience was the worst time of my life.
3. It bothers me when people like me more than I like them. I'm not just talking about dudes. I mean anyone who is all 'let's hang out multiple times a week and text each other during class and why don't you respond to my IMs' and makes me feel all squicky inside.
4. I have never been in a serious relationship and I don't feel like I'm missing anything.
5. My Beanie Baby collection reached about a hundred, and I still have them all. I like to think that if I have children, they will appreciate them, but I am most likely just kidding myself. My mom had this freaky stuffed cat she gave to my sister and me, and I don't know about my sister but I never liked that thing.
6. When I was a kid, I would cut off every tag on every stuffed animal I owned. I wanted them to look as real as possible. Also, I was way more into stuffed animals than baby dolls. I loved my Barbies and my American Girl (I had Samantha), but baby dolls were just boring.
7. I'm thinking about going to film school. I don't want to act or direct or anything; I'd focus on film history.
8. In my entire life, three movies have actually made me cry. They are The Adventures of Milo and Otis, My Dog Skip (both times I watched it), and Almost Famous.
9. I don't feel like I have anyone in my life that I can call at 3am just to talk about whatever bullshit is keeping me awake. No one I know offline, anyway.
10. The last thing I said to my cat was 'I'm so sorry.'
11. I don't plan on going to any of my high school reunions. As far as that's concerned, I want to disappear.
12. If I could choose to look like anyone else, I would choose Vivien Leigh. But I would never want to be her.
13. So I mentioned how the Gap Kids CD is more or less Radio Disney? Well I kinda sorta don't mind some of the Miley Cyrus songs.
14. You can't get me in heels. I don't care how short I am, I don't care how awesome they would make my legs look. They hurt and they are bad for you and I won't do it.
15. I was a volunteer at a therapeutic horseback riding centre for four years. I'm still pretty interested in all forms of animal-assisted therapy, but most especially this one.
q&a with reababy
1. What word to you use most often and why? Oh, probably 'like' or something equally depressing. I am trying so hard to stop saying that.
2. If you could relive your favorite moment in your lifetime, what is that moment and what could make it better? I would relive 13 May-19 June 2007. My shit wouldn't get rained on in Vienna, I wouldn't be so shy in Budapest, I would shut the hell up in Dubrovnik, and it wouldn't rain in Venice. But if all that had to happen again, that's okay too.
3. What job are you working at right now and is it what you want to be doing next year? If not, why and what would you want to be doing? I work at Gap Kids/Baby/Maternity right now and I'm one of those weird people who actually likes it. If I'm still working for Gap next year, I won't hate myself, but it's not necessarily what I want to be doing.
4. What was your first car? My dad had a dark silver '92 Acura Legend that I drove. I still miss that thing.
5. Did you get your license when you turned sixteen or did you wait? I got my licence on 3 June 2002. I was sixteen and a bit; I had to wait a couple months before getting mine and the only reason I even got it was so my dad could drive down to Kentucky and pick up his first Miata. He drove that home; I drove the Legend.
COMMENT IF YOU WANT FIVE QUESTIONS~