fiction: Kerosene and Dust

[abigail_nicole]

Comments

[thenameofaction]

it is very good, quite creepy, very lyrical; the significant criticism i have is that i feel like i want to be lulled, first; i don't want to start knowing i'm reading a scary story. i want to go crazy with alan, to feel seduced and trapped by delilah. knowing that there's something sinister at the outset prepares me too much, i think.

more critique later? sorry this is so late

[abigail_nicole]

I might take out the first bit and rewrite the last bit. it's work in progress