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[abinormal]

My birth did not go well. I started prodomal labor Thursday night and it went on for about 36 hours at home before going to the birth center Saturday night. I should have known something was wrong when I got checked and was still at a 6 because the pain was excruciating and I don't think it was supposed to be. It was horrible back pain that

Comments

[these_3_remain]

Here from naturalbirth...

Oh, honey. You DID go a lot farther trying to have a natural, vaginal birth than most women would have done, and although I know you're probably devastated that you didn't have the birth you hoped you have, I hope you can take comfort in the fact that you gave your little girl everything you had.

*hugs*

[starlite1980]

Hi, I just came over from natural birth. I just want to say congratulations on a beautiful baby girl. (LOVE her name!) I had a c-section in Sept and have been feeling awful over it, so I know how you feel. I admire that you gave your labor everything you could you did not fail.

[lilblueunicorn]

Oh my God, honey... *hugs* You went so far above and beyond the call of duty, trying to get your natural birth!

Please give yourself a break, darling. Please. I was a c-section baby, and I'm one of those weird people that remember being born (there's... actually a phenomena about this, google it.), and yano, besides being a little cold and not knowing exactly what was going on, I don't remember it as a traumatic experience. So, please, don't think you cheated your little girl out of anything, because you didn't. In the end, it came down to doing what you had to do, and you did that. You brought her into the world.

*hugs*

If she's having trouble nursing, then I would second what the other people said... I have no idea what to tell you there.

I'm so sorry your experience was horrible, I'll be saying some prayers for you and your little girl.

-§parky

[tikibirds]

Congrats on your baby girl :D

Sorry I cant give any advice. I dont have any kids. My sister was a C section but that was because she was massivly overdue not due to size and I think she was fed with formula not breast milk. I dont really remember much else about it since i was 7 at thew time.

[ignispuella]

You should be glad that you and elsa are healthy. Before medical technology progressed to be able to perform a surgery like a c-section not only did many babies die, but many mothers died as well. Count the blessings that you have, because they are many and wonderful. It may not have turned out as you had hoped, but it's still not bad, just different.

[ignispuella]

I'm sorry. I didn't know anything about this "natural birth" group and shouldn't have attempted to cheer you up. I'll contact you outside of livejournal from now on. Please let me know if I can come visit you and Elsa sometime this weekend.

[abinormal]

Don't worry about that. We would love to see you if you are able to get out here. I know you've got surgery coming too and that will put you out of commission for awhile, I'm guessing.

[ignispuella]

Yeah, surgery isn't for a few more weeks. I'm only planning four days of nothing but recovery before going back to somewhat normal life. I know that's not much, but once I'm put in the cast I should do fine. How does 1pm on Sat. sound?

[zombieheart]

I'm here from naturalbirth.

First: congrats on your baby girl. Love her and enjoy her because it really does go by so fast. I'm sending good milky vibes your way in hopes that it eases your breastfeeding troubles. Here is a listing of LLL groups in your state, please contact someone nearby for assistance with your bf'ing issues -- they can likely come to you (free of charge) if you can't get out to see them. :)

Second: I'm sorry you didn't get the birth that you and your baby deserved. F!#% everybody who ever says to you "All that matters is that you're both healthy!" or to "Feel thankful everything turned out ok!", because that isn't all that matters. Sure, it's the most important thing, but the birth process matters too. Your feelings matter, and you have a right to them. Give yourself permission to grieve, and when you feel up to it, consider finding and contacting your local ICAN chapter.

I wish you had gotten the birth you and your baby deserved. Unfortunately, all too many women are in a position to understand your situation exactly. birthtrauma is

[durhamgrrl]

I am here from naturalbirth too.
You have every right to grieve for the birth you wanted and deserved. The most important thing may be that you have a healthy child but it is not the only thing. I have been there and done that with a terrible birth and am still mentally healing (my oldest is almost 2 and my second birth was wonderful and empowering). Please give yourself the the time and space you need to process your experience and see a counselor if you need to. It is so hard. Remember that you did not fail in any way shape or form, and it was not your fault. I do not know anyone who has had a "good" birth with a baby over 11 and a half pounds. You DID NOT fail!