(no subject)
Hi everyone. I just joined and I wanted to introduce myself. I had an abortion in September 2001. I am 19 years old now. I never questioned my abortion. I never wondered if I did the right thing. I have never felt sorry for my decision. And I almost feel guilty that I don't regret it. I don't know how to explain it other then that. I know I did the right thing. I would have been a horrible 15 year old mother. I wouldn't have been able to give my child anything. It would have grown up unhappy and poor. And so would I. I was(and AM) too damn selfish for a kid. I knew that then and I know that now. I might have a kid one day, but definatly not anytime soon and absolutely not when I was 15. So I know I made the right choice, I just can't help feeling guilty that I don't feel gulity, yknow? Can anyone relate to that?
Another issue I never dealt with was my boyfriend, the "father". He truely wanted to keep it was totally ok with being a 15 year old father. But I obviously wasnt gonna have that. He payed for the abortion and supported my decision, but I worry he resents me or the decision sometimes. I never really think "what if..." but I think he does. Can anyone relate to that? I know he doesn't hate me, I just hope he won't hate me in 10 years.
And I guess I just have a few general questions.
What are the long term affects? Will I be unable to have children when and if the day comes that I want children? I never went to the check-up appointment at the abortion clinic, but I saw my OBGYN that summer and informed her I had an abortion. I worry that since I didn't go to the check up appt, I'll have some horrible disorder when i'm older. Can that happen?
I felt like I gained weight after my abortion, did anyone else have this problem? I dont think it was due to depression or anything like that, cause I never really got depressed about it or regreted it. The only thing I regret was being so irresponsible as to get knocked up at 15.
Aight, I am just gonne stop now. I hope all my questions are ok and I didn't offend anyone. Please help a girl out. I just wanna deal with my issues before it's too late.