I need to add a 'silly' warning to the tags...
I was just cleaning out my docs, and found this little bit of fluff I started writing ages ago (for the breaking the rules challenge on ar_drabbles I think). Considering our humour convo, plus the Caprican and Tauron prompts, I thought I might post. It's very much below us (try and pretend I'm saying that sln1 style), but maybe some of you might get a smile out of it. :)
Title: Playing a Round
Author: Aussie
Rated: T
“So, I just roll the dice, and then move this thingamajig?”
“Man.”
“Man? Why can’t mine be a woman? They look more like women, actually.”
“What are you talking about? They are plastic figurines; gender neutral.”
“Well, why do I have to call them men, then? You can move your ‘man’ and I’ll move my ‘woman’.”
“Just roll the dice, Laura.”
“Okay…Eleven. Aquarian.”
“You have to take off your blouse.”
“What?”
“Just joking. That only happens if we’re playing Pilots’ Rules. You go back three places. You’re drowning. My go…five. One, two, three, four, five. I’ve landed on Picon.”
“You’re taking off your shirt?”
“No. That would be boots in Pilots’ Rules. Regular rules say I get to go forward six places.”
“What for?”
“I’ve been promoted to Fleet Headquarters.”
“My turn…Four. I won’t count like you. I’m not in elementary school. I’ve landed on Canceron. What does that mean?”
“You have to go to Hades.”
“Where’s that?”
“This one.”
“So I’m back where I started!”
“My roll. Five again. I won’t count this time seeing you find it so offensive--Leonis. I get to move forward another three spaces.”
“Oh, what for this time?”
“The wind has swept me across the Leonis Plains.”
“You’re kidding, right? You’re making this up. Seven.”
“My go.”
“But I haven’t moved my girl yet!”
“No, you don’t get to. If you throw a seven, you automatically lose a turn.”
“That’s not fair!”
“They're the rules. My go. Seven. I’ve obviously been spending too much time with you, Roslin. You’re starting to rub off on me.”
“You wish. Dice, please. Twelve. Surely, that’s good?”
“Yep. You get to join me; wherever I am on the board.”
“Well, this sounds better. What's your man and my woman going to get up to over there on Leonis?”
“I’m not on Leonis anymore. I shifted three spaces, remember. I’m on Gemenon.”
“Oh, that’s a bit of a mood killer. All those rules about no sex before marriage et cetera.”
“That girl of yours looks like she might break the rules. She looks like she’s a bit wild.”
“Excuse me! Are you saying my woman is a woman of questionable morals?”
“Not completely. I think she has some redeeming features.”
“Oh, I’m so pleased to hear! Roll the dice, Adama.”
“Two. Tauron.”
“What happens on Tauron? Surely, with all those shady men that come from that part of the colonies, you have to go back.”
“Nope. That’s the end of this round. I’ve won.”
“What? But you’re not at the end of the board?”
“No, but I’m on Tauron. I’m home.”
“I knew you’d cheat.”
“I am not cheating! I am Tauron, and therefore, I’ve won. I knew you’d have issues with losing!”
“You were born on Caprica!”
“You were born on Caprica, too. We can’t have the same home. Wanna play another round?”
“I think I’d rather read a book.”
“We could play Pilots’ Rules.”
“Mmm. What happens when I roll a seven in Pilots’ Rules?”
“Nothing. But you might be pleasantly surprised if I roll a six.”
Title: Playing a Round
Author: Aussie
Rated: T
“So, I just roll the dice, and then move this thingamajig?”
“Man.”
“Man? Why can’t mine be a woman? They look more like women, actually.”
“What are you talking about? They are plastic figurines; gender neutral.”
“Well, why do I have to call them men, then? You can move your ‘man’ and I’ll move my ‘woman’.”
“Just roll the dice, Laura.”
“Okay…Eleven. Aquarian.”
“You have to take off your blouse.”
“What?”
“Just joking. That only happens if we’re playing Pilots’ Rules. You go back three places. You’re drowning. My go…five. One, two, three, four, five. I’ve landed on Picon.”
“You’re taking off your shirt?”
“No. That would be boots in Pilots’ Rules. Regular rules say I get to go forward six places.”
“What for?”
“I’ve been promoted to Fleet Headquarters.”
“My turn…Four. I won’t count like you. I’m not in elementary school. I’ve landed on Canceron. What does that mean?”
“You have to go to Hades.”
“Where’s that?”
“This one.”
“So I’m back where I started!”
“My roll. Five again. I won’t count this time seeing you find it so offensive--Leonis. I get to move forward another three spaces.”
“Oh, what for this time?”
“The wind has swept me across the Leonis Plains.”
“You’re kidding, right? You’re making this up. Seven.”
“My go.”
“But I haven’t moved my girl yet!”
“No, you don’t get to. If you throw a seven, you automatically lose a turn.”
“That’s not fair!”
“They're the rules. My go. Seven. I’ve obviously been spending too much time with you, Roslin. You’re starting to rub off on me.”
“You wish. Dice, please. Twelve. Surely, that’s good?”
“Yep. You get to join me; wherever I am on the board.”
“Well, this sounds better. What's your man and my woman going to get up to over there on Leonis?”
“I’m not on Leonis anymore. I shifted three spaces, remember. I’m on Gemenon.”
“Oh, that’s a bit of a mood killer. All those rules about no sex before marriage et cetera.”
“That girl of yours looks like she might break the rules. She looks like she’s a bit wild.”
“Excuse me! Are you saying my woman is a woman of questionable morals?”
“Not completely. I think she has some redeeming features.”
“Oh, I’m so pleased to hear! Roll the dice, Adama.”
“Two. Tauron.”
“What happens on Tauron? Surely, with all those shady men that come from that part of the colonies, you have to go back.”
“Nope. That’s the end of this round. I’ve won.”
“What? But you’re not at the end of the board?”
“No, but I’m on Tauron. I’m home.”
“I knew you’d cheat.”
“I am not cheating! I am Tauron, and therefore, I’ve won. I knew you’d have issues with losing!”
“You were born on Caprica!”
“You were born on Caprica, too. We can’t have the same home. Wanna play another round?”
“I think I’d rather read a book.”
“We could play Pilots’ Rules.”
“Mmm. What happens when I roll a seven in Pilots’ Rules?”
“Nothing. But you might be pleasantly surprised if I roll a six.”