when everything (including coherency) fails you--write dream sequences.
통닭고양이 / Tongdak Goyangyi / Chicken Cat
Seungho has already polished off his share and is lying on the sofa with closed eyes and a small, satiated smile. No one is going to say anything about weight today; they're too relieved that he is finally fully healed, even if he is still reluctant to do back flips.
G.O. is idly trimming his nails, and doesn't spare them a glance.
Joon--
"I'm not done! I'm not done! Eat your own, Mir, get off get off!" Cheondoong sprawls backwards, waving the tongdak out of Mir's reach as their maknae grabs at his wrist, pretending to fight him for the drumstick.
Normally he would be more magnanimous in the face of Mir's depredations, but it's been a long time since he's tasted tongdak and they've had a very rough schedule lately. Furthermore, this is really extra delicious tongdak, specially ordered and delivered by their manager as a reward for outselling 2pm's latest single. The marinade is the perfect balance of tang and spice; he's never had better. He's going to think of the pungent sting of vinegar in his nostrils every time he gets hungry.
"Come on, Doongdoongie-hyung," Mir whines.
"You had yours!" He kicks out ineffectually; Mir is straddling him and only Cheondoong's superior reach is keeping his precious tongdak safe. "And half of G.O.'s! Joonie-hyung, help!" He turns a supplicating eye to Joon, who is taking care to stay out of reach.
"Me? But I'm busy," gesturing with the camcorder. "We're supposed to submit our backstage footage by Wednesday, right?"
"If you talk like that, won't you ruin it?" G.O. asks curiously.
"I think they can narrate over the sound," Seungho interjects, eyes still closed.
Meanwhile Mir has actually pushed him into the ground, and his legs are waving around in front of Joon's lens in what must be a very ridiculous way, but he can't bring himself to protest because he's laughing too hard, helpless heaves while Mir grabs his wrist in both hands and relentlessly bends it towards his gaping mouth.
"Ahh...nooo...my tongdak...Mir!"
Mir contents himself with a giant bite that nearly takes off the tip of his finger, and then rolls off him with a grin.
He looks up to find Joon standing over him, intoning with the camcorder pointed down, "Our Cheondoong, utterly vanquished in the Great Battle for Tongdak..."
He flops back and obediently plays dead.
When Joon has stopped recording, Seungho says, "Mir's the most natural about that kind of thing, I'm kind of jealous. But I guess it's the advantage of being maknae. It would look weird if I went and flopped on top of G.O."
"Only beauties get to flop on me," G.O. says lazily.
"Only Dadoong gets to flop on me," Cheondoong maintains, still prone.
"Dadoong and Mir," Mir reminds him.
"Dadoong and Mir," he amends, and sits up, gnawing at the rest of his drumstick. Mir makes an exaggerated wink and blows him a kiss.
Joon gives Mir an odd look, and because he spends a few seconds trying to interpret it, he wonders later whether the look is what caused the dream.
That night he has a very bizarre dream. It begins with him on a variety show, the kind he hates to deal with, and a stage that's lit too brightly. He keeps trying to see the host's face, but it remains a bright and talkative blob.
The topic is their respective sleeping habits, and everyone has brought the things they sleep with. Seungho is holding a giant pink rabbit, the kind that is too big to put anywhere but in a corner. He is arguing with G.O., saying that sleeping with a stuffed animal doesn't make you less manly. G.O. is claiming that men are supposed to sleep in boxers because of the convenience, and holds up a bright yellow pair. He wants to tell G.O. that he is missing the point, but it seems like too much trouble, so he crosses his legs instead.
Suddenly he realizes that he hasn't brought the thing he sleeps with, and begins to panic--any minute now it will be his turn, and he will have to explain that he doesn't have it with him.
Where is it, where is it--he dodges backstage, mumbling an excuse, and the staff looks at him strangely but he knows he just needs a minute--ah!
Dadoong peeks out at him from behind a cameraman's legs, and Cheondoong stumbles towards him. Dadoong takes off, and his hapless owner spends what seems like an eternity chasing him on and off the stage, until finally Joon steps out of nowhere and scoops him up.
"Ah, you're a lifesaver!"
"Here," Joon says, holding Dadoong somewhat carelessly.
He clutches Dadoong to his chest. "Let's go back, what if they're waiting for us?"
They're back on the benches, and Joon is explaining to the host that it's not fair, that actually Cheondoong has two things to sleep with, while he has none. And Cheondoong doesn't agree, wants to explain that isn't the case. He only brought Dadoong, after all, who nearly got away, so he almost didn't even have one thing to present.
Then Joon says the second thing is Mir, pointing at Cheondoong mock-accusingly. Cheondoong tries to say that Mir isn't a thing, he's a person and shouldn't count at all.
"Mir isn't a person," the host is insisting, and points to the other side of the bench. Sure enough, Mir is now a blond cat.
He's shocked but then Mir transforms back and informs him that he can turn into a cat at will.
"Like the teacher in Harry Potter," he explains.
"I'm working on it too," Joon says quickly, and he turns his head to see Joon changing into a cat. But it doesn't quite work because Joon is still the same size, and a giant black cat is suddenly rubbing against him. He wonders if Dadoong will be scared with all these new cats around, and wraps his arms around Joon-the-cat, who then suddenly turns human again.
Only this time, Joon is naked.
The shock of it jerks him off of the brilliant stage and into a familiar darkness. He turns his head after a moment, still confused. His roommate is visible only by a black thatch of hair half sunk into the pillow. If Lee Joon is naked, it is impossible to tell. Certainly he is not a cat.
Cheondoong rolls onto his back again and exhales, sluggishly reorienting to reality.
What a bizarre dream, he thinks to himself, trying to reassemble it even as it swirls into the storm drains of his mind.
The next day, he catches himself watching Joon as he yawns in a way that strangely reminds him of Dadoong, and then inexplicably blushes.