Work, Life, Culture

[absinthehearts]

I am a 42 year old woman with a PhD, a demanding, intense job in a stressful environment. I have a teenaged daughter who is diabetic, and a husband who has a rare form of cancer -- so rare that now that he has lived five years beyond initial diagnosis (with the assistance of three major, organ-removing surgeries) there is no prognosis possible

Comments

[dabunz]

Get on ODSP.

[absinthehearts]

I'm not eligible for ODSP. Why? Because I spent my NON-disabled life acting 'responsibly'.

If I had been spending my money on new electronics, trips, concert tickets, cigarettes, booze and loose women while I was able to be employed, I'd be living in a cheap rental dive with milkcrates for furniture and all would be fine -- I'd be eligible.

Instead, I pinched pennies until they squealed. As a result, I have a car, an RRSP, a nice house, an education fund for my kid, and some investments that aren't worth nearly what they were a year ago. Together, my husband (remember, ODSP is based on FAMILY assets) and I have assets in excess of $7500. This makes us ineligible until we have spent ourself below this threshold.

I haven't been in in the full time labour force for long enough to qualify for CPP disability (which is asset independent) -- in part because it takes a LONG time to get my job, and in part becasue... I've been too disabled to work full time!

Rock. Hard place.

[auros]

Can you reorganize your assets in a way that makes you qualified for more things? e.g. Sell the house to somebody you know and trust and have them "rent" it to you at a price equivalent to the costs they pay (mortgage, taxes, etc).

[absinthehearts]

The only people in the world I trust that much... are on ODSP.

[cyan_blue]

Reading, listening, sending hugs

[uhclem]

Really sorry to hear. But you know what you have to do, because you are so clear about why the place you now are is unsustainable.(which is not to say you know where it'll all lead. But you know you have to change a way of life that will kill you if you don't.)

I think of the Hopi word koyaanisqatsi, translated as "life out of balance." And I think of my friend Oriah, struggling with many of the same physical challenges, and taking a three year sabbatical, and finding that the energy and cure she had wanted to happen hasn't. (It's all here)

A path is made by people walking on it, as Chuang Tzu said. May you find yours, and may it come to you easily and soon.