My stepsister's father died when she was 2 or 3, in Spain. Her and her mum moved to the UK. He'd been buried in the hills on the Costa del Sol. As her mum wasn't spanish, her father's family never properly accepted her, and this includes the fact that they had her father cremated and then scattered in the sea, without telling them - because the cemetary had been bought by someone building a hotel there. It really bothered my stepsister - not only the utter crassness of being told what would happen before it was done, but also because she felt that there was now no place where her face was. Although she was a child when her father died, she didn't remember him very well at all, so like you, it was really the only thing she had, was where he was buried, and then suddenly he wasn't.
I think it must be an extremely hard thing to deal with, so you shouldn't worry about all the sleeping and stuff - you're coping, and that's good. :)
What about using some of your artistic skill to make some sort of marker for him.
Also, (assuming it would have no negative repurcussions within your family that you don't want to deal with) what about turning something about your father's life, death, or your life as it relates to all of this into the inspiration for your novel (fictional or non). I can't help but feel that a)something that affects you so deeply might be just the inspiration you need, and b) it could be a figurative "marker."
PS - I still don't know the whole story with this. I just remember you finding out and I think you started to tell me about it during one of your visits to Gville but we got interrupted.
Also, I saw you called the other morning (probably while I was in the shower getting ready for class). But you didn't leave a message and I hate it when people return calls based on caller ID... because it could be that you just called my number accidentally and hung up after one ring, and it's just annoying when people are all "I got a call from this number" and then you have to explain that SOMETIMES PEOPLE DIAL A WRONG FREAKIN NUMBER!!!
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I don't know what else to say.
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I think it must be an extremely hard thing to deal with, so you shouldn't worry about all the sleeping and stuff - you're coping, and that's good. :)
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Also, (assuming it would have no negative repurcussions within your family that you don't want to deal with) what about turning something about your father's life, death, or your life as it relates to all of this into the inspiration for your novel (fictional or non). I can't help but feel that a)something that affects you so deeply might be just the inspiration you need, and b) it could be a figurative "marker."
PS - I still don't know the whole story with this. I just remember you finding out and I think you started to tell me about it during one of your visits to Gville but we got interrupted.
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Anywho...
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