Buffalo Barbies
I think I'm a healthy mix of South Buffalo/Orchard Park barbie... but I would NEVER chase beer-gut ken.. he would never have a beer gut :P
Elmwood Barbie -
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long, straight, brown hair,
archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and Birkenstocks with white
socks. She smokes good sinsemilla buds and prefers that you call her
"Willow". She does not want or need a Ken doll, but you if purchase two
Leucadia Barbie's and the optional Volvo wagon, you get a coupon for a
free wheat-grass smoothie at any Whole Food's Market.
East Side Barbie -
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional
accessories include a GED and bus & metro pass. Gangsta Ken and his '79
Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the
addition of the infant. Blunts and 40's are extras
Lower West Side Barbie -
This Spanish-speaking-only Barbie comes with a 1984 Toyota with expired
temporary plates and three baby Barbies in the back seat, but no car
seats. The optional Ken doll comes with a pick up truck loaded 10 feet
high with mattresses. Green cards are not available for Chula Vista
Barbie or Ken.
Allentown Barbie/Ken -
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply
adding or subtracting the multiple "snap-on" parts. Bonus: free rainbow
flag with proof of purchase sticker along with valuable discount coupons
to all "F" street bookstores.
West-Side Barbie -
This recently paroled tattooed & nose pierced Barbie comes with a 9mm
handgun,a off-road ready lifted Chevy truck with dark tinted windows,
and a methlab kit. This model is only available after dark and can only
be paid for in cash, preferably in small, untraceable bills. Unless you
are a cop, then we don't know what you're talking about!
Williamsville Barbie -
This princess Barbie is only sold in a small boutique on Main St. She
comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV, a
long-haired dog named Honey, and a cookie-cutter house. Available with
or without tummy tuck and facelift. Workaholic Ken sold only in
conjunction with "augmented" version.
Amherst Barbie -
This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar minivan
and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time
occupation or secondary education. Traffic-jamming cell phone included,
headset sold separately.
Orchard Park Barbie -
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer
H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card, and country club
membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private
School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.
Holland Barbie -
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans, two sizes too
small, a NASCAR shirt, and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a
six-pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit
over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk. Purchase
her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker
absolutely free.
Cheektowaga Barbie -
This Barbie wears a brightly colored mismatched outfits and stares out
the window spying on other Barbies while drinking Genesee Cream Ale. Ken
comes with bowling ball and Bill's tickets. Additional Pink Flamingo
lawn pet available.
South Buffalo Barbie -
This beer drinking, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own
high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased
Beer-Gut Ken out of Cheektowaga Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes
low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter
top. Also available with a mobile 'vacation/hunting' home.
Clarence Barbie-
This Barbie is always bitching that she can't find a good man in
Clarence. Place your orders now before stock runs out.
Elmwood Barbie -
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long, straight, brown hair,
archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and Birkenstocks with white
socks. She smokes good sinsemilla buds and prefers that you call her
"Willow". She does not want or need a Ken doll, but you if purchase two
Leucadia Barbie's and the optional Volvo wagon, you get a coupon for a
free wheat-grass smoothie at any Whole Food's Market.
East Side Barbie -
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional
accessories include a GED and bus & metro pass. Gangsta Ken and his '79
Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the
addition of the infant. Blunts and 40's are extras
Lower West Side Barbie -
This Spanish-speaking-only Barbie comes with a 1984 Toyota with expired
temporary plates and three baby Barbies in the back seat, but no car
seats. The optional Ken doll comes with a pick up truck loaded 10 feet
high with mattresses. Green cards are not available for Chula Vista
Barbie or Ken.
Allentown Barbie/Ken -
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply
adding or subtracting the multiple "snap-on" parts. Bonus: free rainbow
flag with proof of purchase sticker along with valuable discount coupons
to all "F" street bookstores.
West-Side Barbie -
This recently paroled tattooed & nose pierced Barbie comes with a 9mm
handgun,a off-road ready lifted Chevy truck with dark tinted windows,
and a methlab kit. This model is only available after dark and can only
be paid for in cash, preferably in small, untraceable bills. Unless you
are a cop, then we don't know what you're talking about!
Williamsville Barbie -
This princess Barbie is only sold in a small boutique on Main St. She
comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV, a
long-haired dog named Honey, and a cookie-cutter house. Available with
or without tummy tuck and facelift. Workaholic Ken sold only in
conjunction with "augmented" version.
Amherst Barbie -
This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar minivan
and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time
occupation or secondary education. Traffic-jamming cell phone included,
headset sold separately.
Orchard Park Barbie -
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer
H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card, and country club
membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private
School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.
Holland Barbie -
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans, two sizes too
small, a NASCAR shirt, and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a
six-pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit
over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk. Purchase
her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker
absolutely free.
Cheektowaga Barbie -
This Barbie wears a brightly colored mismatched outfits and stares out
the window spying on other Barbies while drinking Genesee Cream Ale. Ken
comes with bowling ball and Bill's tickets. Additional Pink Flamingo
lawn pet available.
South Buffalo Barbie -
This beer drinking, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own
high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased
Beer-Gut Ken out of Cheektowaga Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes
low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter
top. Also available with a mobile 'vacation/hunting' home.
Clarence Barbie-
This Barbie is always bitching that she can't find a good man in
Clarence. Place your orders now before stock runs out.