Minkey- Counting down the pills
Title: Counting down the pills
Pairing: Minho/Kibum
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst
A/N: Miss them! Cant wait for their comeback stage next week><
You can't, you can't, don't leave like this
Please just one more time,
One more time,
Hold me in your arms again
(SHINee) 잠꼬대 (Please Don't Go)
He feels himself aching as the thought of the relationship fades away into the dark cold room. He can feel the warmth of Minho lingering on the bedsheets, the sweet scent of his body clinging onto the pillow, his perspiration sticky on his skin, thinking that he is gone. Oh gawd, he’s really gone.
He remembers the last words he said to him before he left because he had caught him cheating again. And it reverberates throughout his bedroom, egging his guilty conscience, as though he is at fault.
You bastard...
He tries to remember the look on Minho’s face when he breaks up with him, but he cannot, because he cannot bear to think what it was, whether it was really him to blame.
You asshole…
He can’t shake off the guilt that he feels even though inside he really knows that Minho brought it upon himself. That it was his folly that led to this, not Kibum’s.
I saw you with him. I saw you… Don't lie.
And Kibum cries into his pillow, cries until he is unable to breathe, cries until he sleeps-Because that is all he can do to escape, all he can do to tell himself that Minho never blamed him.
Get the fuck out of my house. It’s over.
===
Kibum barely gets through the days, his eyes sunken by insomnia and starvation. He has lost his appetite and ability to sleep without nightmares, because Minho keeps coming every night, to talk to him, so he must stay awake, or Minho will disappear.
He updates Lee Minho every night, about his day, about his troubles, and how much he misses him, and they talk until Kibum falls asleep beside Minho, only to wake up an hour later to find him gone. And he searches again.
He picks up his phone that buzzes incessantly by his table and responds emotionlessly, allowing the words of the babbling person on the other end of the line to just fill his empty room momentarily, responding out of obligation.
“Yes Jinki?”
“Please Key, you can’t go on like this anymore.”
“Yeah hyung.”
“I’m serious. It’s been a month since it happened. He’s not coming back okay? You gotta get over it already! How about I take you out and you can find someone new.”
“No hyung…”
“Come on Kibum! You never used to be this way! I know this guy, Jonghyun from my school, he’s so awesome. You’d like him!”
“No hyung.”
“Fine. whatever, your loss.”
===
Kibum sits on the edge of his bed with a warm glass of water in one hand and thirty paracetamol pills in the other.
His face remains emotionless but inside, he hurts like hell. Maybe it is because he is constantly reminded by the people around him of the reality of the situation. Maybe it is because he realizes that he is just hallucinating. Maybe it is because that is the only way he can see Minho again.
Five.
Bitterness.
Get the fuck away from me you asshole.
Ten.
Torture.
You knew that this would kill me. And you still did it.
Fifteen.
Disgust.
You touched him like you touched me.
Twenty.
Cruelty.
You knew that my heart was weak yet you tore it apart.
Twenty-five.
Pain.
Do you know how the nights went by, waiting for you to come home?
Twenty-six.
Contempt.
You told me you loved me.
Twenty-seven.
Passion.
You lied to me.
Twenty-nine.
Desire.
How can you even say that you wanted me more?
Twenty-eight.
Angst.
How can you even try to apologize?
Thirty.
Love.
But I love you.
===
Kim Kibum does not know where the sounds come from, or where the fabled ‘light at the end of the tunnel’ is. But he sees Minho all gorgeous and beautiful. He sees himself lying in his arms and gazing upon his face, and the light at the end of the tunnel doesn’t matter because Minho’s the brightest light he ever needs to see.
===
As though he lived a cliché, his life started to flash before his eyes. The fight. The news of the accident. The lack of news of Minho.
The touch of Minho’s hair. The taste of his lips.
The laughter.
The first time they met.
Everything that mattered. Gone.
===
But he does see a light.
And Minho fades away.
No. Come back. But he doesn't come.
The light burn Kibums eyes and they force themselves to open, squinting under the too-bright light.
He hears them say, “he’s come around.”
And all he can think to himself is, “Fuck, I should have just died.”
Then he hears a voice saying Minho’s name and he turns his head to locate the source.
“Minho-ssi? You’ll be out in a day or two, looking at your progress.”
No way. No freaking way.
And he looks at you, full in the face and smiles. “I guess now I’ve gotta take care of you.”
Pairing: Minho/Kibum
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst
A/N: Miss them! Cant wait for their comeback stage next week><
You can't, you can't, don't leave like this
Please just one more time,
One more time,
Hold me in your arms again
(SHINee) 잠꼬대 (Please Don't Go)
He feels himself aching as the thought of the relationship fades away into the dark cold room. He can feel the warmth of Minho lingering on the bedsheets, the sweet scent of his body clinging onto the pillow, his perspiration sticky on his skin, thinking that he is gone. Oh gawd, he’s really gone.
He remembers the last words he said to him before he left because he had caught him cheating again. And it reverberates throughout his bedroom, egging his guilty conscience, as though he is at fault.
You bastard...
He tries to remember the look on Minho’s face when he breaks up with him, but he cannot, because he cannot bear to think what it was, whether it was really him to blame.
You asshole…
He can’t shake off the guilt that he feels even though inside he really knows that Minho brought it upon himself. That it was his folly that led to this, not Kibum’s.
I saw you with him. I saw you… Don't lie.
And Kibum cries into his pillow, cries until he is unable to breathe, cries until he sleeps-Because that is all he can do to escape, all he can do to tell himself that Minho never blamed him.
Get the fuck out of my house. It’s over.
===
Kibum barely gets through the days, his eyes sunken by insomnia and starvation. He has lost his appetite and ability to sleep without nightmares, because Minho keeps coming every night, to talk to him, so he must stay awake, or Minho will disappear.
He updates Lee Minho every night, about his day, about his troubles, and how much he misses him, and they talk until Kibum falls asleep beside Minho, only to wake up an hour later to find him gone. And he searches again.
He picks up his phone that buzzes incessantly by his table and responds emotionlessly, allowing the words of the babbling person on the other end of the line to just fill his empty room momentarily, responding out of obligation.
“Yes Jinki?”
“Please Key, you can’t go on like this anymore.”
“Yeah hyung.”
“I’m serious. It’s been a month since it happened. He’s not coming back okay? You gotta get over it already! How about I take you out and you can find someone new.”
“No hyung…”
“Come on Kibum! You never used to be this way! I know this guy, Jonghyun from my school, he’s so awesome. You’d like him!”
“No hyung.”
“Fine. whatever, your loss.”
===
Kibum sits on the edge of his bed with a warm glass of water in one hand and thirty paracetamol pills in the other.
His face remains emotionless but inside, he hurts like hell. Maybe it is because he is constantly reminded by the people around him of the reality of the situation. Maybe it is because he realizes that he is just hallucinating. Maybe it is because that is the only way he can see Minho again.
Five.
Bitterness.
Get the fuck away from me you asshole.
Ten.
Torture.
You knew that this would kill me. And you still did it.
Fifteen.
Disgust.
You touched him like you touched me.
Twenty.
Cruelty.
You knew that my heart was weak yet you tore it apart.
Twenty-five.
Pain.
Do you know how the nights went by, waiting for you to come home?
Twenty-six.
Contempt.
You told me you loved me.
Twenty-seven.
Passion.
You lied to me.
Twenty-nine.
Desire.
How can you even say that you wanted me more?
Twenty-eight.
Angst.
How can you even try to apologize?
Thirty.
Love.
But I love you.
===
Kim Kibum does not know where the sounds come from, or where the fabled ‘light at the end of the tunnel’ is. But he sees Minho all gorgeous and beautiful. He sees himself lying in his arms and gazing upon his face, and the light at the end of the tunnel doesn’t matter because Minho’s the brightest light he ever needs to see.
===
As though he lived a cliché, his life started to flash before his eyes. The fight. The news of the accident. The lack of news of Minho.
The touch of Minho’s hair. The taste of his lips.
The laughter.
The first time they met.
Everything that mattered. Gone.
===
But he does see a light.
And Minho fades away.
No. Come back. But he doesn't come.
The light burn Kibums eyes and they force themselves to open, squinting under the too-bright light.
He hears them say, “he’s come around.”
And all he can think to himself is, “Fuck, I should have just died.”
Then he hears a voice saying Minho’s name and he turns his head to locate the source.
“Minho-ssi? You’ll be out in a day or two, looking at your progress.”
No way. No freaking way.
And he looks at you, full in the face and smiles. “I guess now I’ve gotta take care of you.”