Coffeebeans: Subplot(4) +Chapter4
Title: コーヒービーンス (Coffeebeans)
Author: abstractpersona
Genre: Romance, Smut, Fluff
Length: Adequate [Shorter than usual:P]
Overall Rating: PG
Sub-plot (4): Freedom is not free
(Yunho)
Soon.
“It's Christmas,” I say quietly in a corner of the cafe.
Yoochun glances at me, then nods. His mind is clearly still preoccupied with the thought of Junsu, of what happened just two days ago. Junsu agreed to take medication for his illness and the side effects of that medication had made him extremely tired, fatigued and large dark circles had formed around his eyes.
Changmin was our only source of warmth in the cold atmosphere of the cafe. Sure when customers arrived everyone would assume their usual cheery disposition, but other than that, hardly any of us said more than a word to one another.
I need to talk to him.
~
“Junsu, how are you feeling?” Changmin said as he huddled up close to Junsu on the couch.
Junsu looked at the younger man and smiled. He knew everyone was worried sick about him and did not wish to trouble them. He stroked Changmin's auburn hair and said, “Don't worry, I’m fine. Just a little tired.”
“You know, a man once wrote in a war diary, 'Freedom is not free'. You have to suffer, to pay a price for liberation. And this battle that you fight, is not to be fought alone, remember that,” Changmin took in a deep breath and continued, “It may seem a little tough now, but continue to look forward to a better future! Ah! Sometimes I surprise myself with the things I say!”
Junsu adopted a thoughtful silence then turned his countenance parallel to the ceiling. He closed his eyes, absorbing all the thought that rushed to his mind. “Freedom is not free,” he repeated, “I must suffer for a better future.” He looked at Changmin again and gave him a tired hug. “Thanks.”
Junsu then turned to Yoochun who was busy cleaning the tables. “Yoochun-ah, would you accompany me to the doctor? I will concede to take the therapy.”
Yoochun's eyes widened. This was not what he wanted to hear, clearly. The repercussions were even worse than the side effects of the medication.
Knowing what was going through Yoochun's mind, Junsu said, “Don't worry about it. In a month or so I'll be fine. And it beats taking medication every day for the rest of my life anyway.”
Yoochun ran to Junsu and kneeled down on the floor beside him, looking deep into his eyes. “Are you sure this is what you really want? No one is forcing you to do anything. J-just call me if you want out.”
“I am absolutely sure. As long as you're still waiting for me when I get out.” and he smiled feebly as he uttered the last words.
Yoochun embraced the man before him and whispered into his ears, “Your pain is my pain. I will wait for you even if it takes a lifetime.”
The 'romantic moment breaker' came in the form of Jaejoong. “So when did you guys get so close?” the oldest said bluntly to the embracing couple.
Junsu laughed and replied, “Since the villa. AND he promised to change his playboy ways for me. Surely that deserves some form of recognition.” Junsu said and Yunho clapped his hands in mock acknowledgement for his cousin.
“Don't worry. I'll keep the guy in line for you.” Yunho added and punched Junsu lightly on the shoulder
Yoochun smiled and held on tightly to Junsu's hand. “Come on, we'd better go. The earlier in the earlier out.”
Chapter 4: Love in the Ice
(Jaejoong)
“Jaejoong! Wanna walk home together? It's time the cafe should close anyway.”
“Mmph,” I mumble in agreement, “I’ll go grab my stuff.”
~
“It’s beautiful,” I say, as we look out to the sea. The line where the horizon met the sky is painted a lovely hue of pink that forms a halo around the setting sun with its light growing dimmer and dimmer as the seconds pass. The sea seems to extend out forever, with its waves rolling into the horizon, creating lines of foam that defines the waves.
The sea in all its beauty and gloriousness brings about a sense of calm in the bustling world that surrounded us, a sense of freedom and liberation from the stressful world. This is perfect. Everything in this moment in time is perfect, particularly because of the man beside me… If only, this moment could be frozen.
I close my eyes, drinking in the beauty of the surroundings, capturing every tiny detail of the ocean, and of us.
Yet, my reverie is constantly punctured by thoughts that this is completely one-sided, lofty wishes on my part. Whatever it is, it would soon be over. If it does not end without me being by his side as a working adult maintaining a professional relationship, then all that is left to do is for me to quit this job and find work elsewhere, continue my life as it was before, as if none of this had ever happened. The latter is painful, but necessary, if none of us want to get hurt, I must do it, I must leave…
A thoughtful, not uncomfortable silence permeates the surroundings and again I breathe in, taking in the full beauty of the surroundings, to enjoy this moment once again, for the final time.
A soft breeze blows from behind us, sending a chill through the nape of our necks. I wrap my scarf around my neck tighter, hoping that it will deter the cold. Something cold beats upon my back and I twist my arm to touch it. Cold, wet. Then, a mass of precipitation comes at us, sending small crystals of snow clinging onto our jackets.
“Oh, it’s snowing.” I exclaim in surprise. Did that sound like a statement of the obvious? I love the snow but I hate the cold. Ironic isn’t it? I stick my tongue out slightly to catch a snowflake.
At this moment, Yunho pulls down the scarf that is covering my face slightly and before I know it, he plants a kiss on the corner of my mouth.
I am caught by surprise. No way, I must be dreaming. Maybe the snow fell in a lump upon my cheek that it felt as though he, well, KISSED me. I touch my cheek at the spot where he had ‘supposedly’ kissed me. I mumbled, just loud enough for him to hear or ignore, depending on whether he had really kissed me or not, “What was that for?”
The answer that comes is unexpected.
“First snow, first kiss.”
I am afraid to look at him and turn my countenance to the sea once again. My heart suddenly fills itself with a warmth, as though there’s a bubble welling up inside of me, but my mind bursts this bubble and douses the warmth with cold water. I fear that this, all that had just happened is unreal, wishful thinking on my part.
“Wh-what do you mean?” I ask, before realizing that the words that come out of my mouth are once again, stupid.
I looked at his profile as he did not look at me, focusing on the horizon of the sea. The pink glow of the sunset radiated his every feature, forming the contours of his face perfectly, reflecting off the internal contradiction that he too was facing. He hesitates, then chokes out a response, “Kim Jaejoong, I’ve fallen for you.”
Silence ensues. My mind wages a battle, fighting feeling that are want to be there and those that are meant to be there. His face slowly turns toward mine, tilting his head slightly, awaiting a response to show itself on my features. I too, await that response from myself. What would I say? What would I do? Would I smile my crooked smile Yunho or look furious at such a thought? Surely not the latter, but it seems to be too much to handle, even for me.
~
(Yunho)
I told him.
Should I have considered the repercussions carefully before? Would I get rejected then? Oh the folly of me, rushing into things. Was it too early to tell him then? Am I even sure about this?... Of course, there’s no doubt about that. I have to know. And even in Jaejoong says no, I will win him over.
I saw the man press his thumb and his forefinger to his temples, eyes closed but frowning hard as though this was a very difficult descision for him. Was it really? It was just a yes/no question, or rather yes/yes.
The snow continued to fall gathering around us but we did not feel cold, not yet anyway.
“Yunho,” Jaejoong finally says. “I’m sorry, I can’t. We can’t.”
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A/n: will you kill me if I didn’t finish this?
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“Why? Why not? I was so sure I didn’t feel this myself.”
“This, us, we cannot happen, don’t you see? I’m sorry Yunho, I really am.”
I waited for him to continue, for there to be some form of hope.
“It’s not that I don’t love you. I do, but-”
“But what? I don’t care about what everyone else thinks of us. I love you Kim Jaejoong, and all I want is for us to happen. I‘ve never been more sure about anything else in my life.”
Jaejoong pushed himself off the ground, back toward the sea examining the world that was going on behind us. He turned slightly to face me, and he looked upon me, the distressed figure that was kneeling on the ground next to the spot where I was originally sitting. A smile twitched on the corners of his mouth. Pity? Amusement? There was not time for those feelings! How could he find this situation amusing?
“Let’s get through this together then?”
The look on my face changed from disappointment to surprise then to joy. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. It seemed so surreal. Was everything really going too quickly? No time for that… for now, let’s get through this together.
I reached out toward the extended hand, a grin lighting up my features.
“You know I’ll never let you go,” I whispered. “First snow, first kiss… *Yuki.”
Snow gathered upon the ground and on our clothes, forming crystals of ice that clung onto our eyelashes. Despite all this, we were in a world that we could call our own. Finally.
The snow that day did not feel cold.
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*Yuki: Snow/Winter in Japanese
This become Jaejoong’s pet name FYI, I hope you understand whyJ
So HAPPY NEW YEAR everybody!
I know the story seems to be moving a bit fast but this is really not the peak just so you know!
Haha. In Singapore the countdown was just 40 minutes ago so I stayed up to finish this off for once:P Anyhoo, have an awesome year ahead! Have you written your resolutions yet? I haven’t^^
I’ll split Coffeebeans into 2 parts. Part one will end with the next chapter! Whenever that is cause I have another week of temp job. WISH ME LUCK>_< cause it’s not a job that I fancy but one that is necessary for me to pay off my dance fees etc…
Help me! I swear BB and DBSK are battling within me! Why did DBSK have to leave korea again? I dreamt that Jae said, “It’s not the first time we’ve been scraped off a performance for Big Bang.” And everytime I put my songs on shuffle on my iPod, after every DongBang song is a BB one or vice versa. Seriously O.o
Nuff said:P I should stop with the ranting!
Once again Happy New Year! Many blessings in the year ahead!
Kisses<3