I just wanted to comment and commend you on your strongness. I too was abused sexually and physically by 3 of my cousins, 2 male and 1 female. They used to make me do unpleasant and humiliating things. If I didn't, they'd threaten to beat the shit out of me, just for starters. Their theory was that I would never win and that I would never be able to tell. Well, after 12+ years, the truth finally came out. I've gone and am still going through immense psychological help. Although, just recently talking to my psychiatrist on Tuesday, she thinks that a "graduation" of some sort is fair by the end of February. Honestly, I don't know if I am ready for it. Time can only tell. She wants me to plan my future, but for me it's a must, for me to take one day at a time, since I wish there were times that I never woke up out of my sleep. Like that would be a prime example of ways for me to be put out of my misery. You don't remember things, because we can force our minds not to. Do you go to any kinds of therapy? Don't get me wrong, I
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you don't have to run from me I promise!!! I know exactly what it's like to be forced into talking about things that you don't want to. If you want to talk to me privately, you can do so at your own free will @ JessDown76@aol.com, I have people who aren't on my buddy list blocked, so IF you feel comfortable, email me your aim name and I'll IM you. Again, it's at your own free will....the only thing I ask is that you put LJ in the subject b/c I have a tendancy of deleting emails as well...
You are a good kid, as you probably always were, but you were surrounded by some really nasty people. Now is a very hard time for you, when you are becoming a young adult and dealing with all of it. You are very brave and strong, and one day you will be close to someone whom you trust. I hope you will talk about this with more people, it is hard, but it is worth it. Remember, you are the one that is right and that were wronged, no matter what!
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when i first came out i thought something similar and a councilor gave me some advice that helped me so much and i would like to share it
when i told her (she was the FIRST person i EVER told) she asked me if knowing why would change the fact that i like girls
and i thought about it, and i knew that it wouldn"t matter at all
so i let it go...the only time i think of that now is when i think of the beautiful clean feeling i got when she said that
in retrospect i guess it wasnt advice exactly but it was taken as it...like stop worying about why and enjoy what is
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Now is a very hard time for you, when you are becoming a young adult and dealing with all of it. You are very brave and strong, and one day you will be close to someone whom you trust.
I hope you will talk about this with more people, it is hard, but it is worth it. Remember, you are the one that is right and that were wronged, no matter what!
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