hi i'm new here

[behindthesmog]

while finding this community i was talkin to a friend of mine about the fact that there are all sorts of abuse communities and he asked me if i was abused. and i paused. then i typed out yes and hit send. i didnt have to tell him. but something inside me didnt feel like lying again. "no, nothing happened. i'm crying cuz its a sad movie" (the last

Comments

[fizit]

I vowed that I would never lie about the abuses I've suffered, ever, ever again. It's owning a shame that is not mine to own, and that I refuse to wear. Some people do find my story difficult to hear, I don't choose to tell everybody that I meat on this planet we share, feel honoured by my trust. And to those that would like to wrap this fragile shell that is sooo obviously me (not!!!). I survived, I'm here, now smiling up at the day (5pm where I am, rain pattering on the leaves of our fruit trees).

*coffee mug chinks against a glass of juice*
find joy in your day ;p

[behindthesmog]

here, here!!
thanks

=o)

[xnujix]

aww honey I am so sorry to hear what happened but proud that you faced it. heh its funny i've ben going to therapy for so long now and have yet to talk about the physical and emotional abuse my parents both put me through. The emotional was pretty bad, things my mother said that nobody would thought a mother would ever say to her own blood.

I am glad your mother is there for you, which is really good. I was sexually violated when I was 15 by a cab driver. I haven't really thought about it since it happened coz its so damn hard.

*hugs*

[behindthesmog]

*hugs back*
it really is hard at times

[whendovezcry]

I total understand not being able to tell anyone for fear of them not understanding or judging you. I am 36 years old native New Yorker...and I have never told anyone outside of my immediate family and this community. I do still feel shame and embarrassment from my abuse(physical/sexual/emotional) I suffered from the hands of my father until the day he died when I was 21yrs old. I also feel that I could never tell my friends for fear of their judgment. You seem like you have a good support system, Mother, and family who are there for you. This is a good place to feel safe and talk about your past. No one judges here. Here's to coping day by day *raises cup of coffee*

[behindthesmog]

*hug*
thanks for the warm welcome and support

=o)

here's to coping day by day *raises cup of juice

[ragecarnuu]

Some days are good days. Many guys just havent seen the other side so shock is common. Sounds like college will be good. :)

Re: here's to coping day by day *raises cup of juice

[behindthesmog]

*nods*
SO looking foward to college...with avengence...lol

[futurecfo]

Props to you for joining this community. I've found that just talking about my abuse is close to therapy. Especially here. Here's to the idea that one day, we will not have to cope.

[behindthesmog]

definitely...thanks

=o)

[ex_mushie764]

I just joined this community and I realize that this entry is months old, but we have gone through a lot of the same things it was like reading about parts of my life .... I added you to my friends list. My name is Amanda .

[behindthesmog]

*adds you back*