Comments | abusesurvivor: Introducing Myself

spencer_diehard in abusesurvivor

Introducing Myself

Jan 20, 2004 22:34

Hi. I'm 48, done all kinds of work to heal, confronted perpetrators, wrote my autobiography, came out to family, did lots of time in counseling, attended assorted support groups, got a B.S. degree in social work, talk with my brother serving time in prison for molesting his daughter, have an honest relationship with my intimate other(s) and our ( Read more... )

Comments 12

mjwilliamson January 21 2004, 21:37:33 UTC

Hello there, and welcome!

Hi My name is kimberly sugerbuddy January 27 2004, 05:05:16 UTC

I was born Feb. 14, 1980. My parents neglected me when my mom got sick when she was pregnant with my younger brother who had died. I was taken away by the state when I was two years old. I lived with Aunt Katie at the age of two. I stopped eating at the age of 2 1/2 and was brought to the hospital and force-fed. Then I was taken away by the state at the age of 3 and put into foster homes until I was 4 when I was taken away again and given to people who wanted to adopt me. They lived near Aunt Katie so every time she came to visit she would cry. So they said they could not adopt me. So I was put back into foster homes and then another couple came and wanted to adopt me so I was officially adopted Nov. 6, 1986. I could not talk until I was seven years old which I had speech therapy for. I had trouble balancing on one leg and could not walk that well so I was also in occupational therapy. I was in speech and occupational therapy until I was 15 years old. I was in special education until eighth grade which I had to repeat in regular ( ... )

Re: Hi My name is kimberly sugerbuddy January 27 2004, 05:05:30 UTC

I know that Heather and George will not last long and I want to keep my heart open to me even though he abused me. I don't know why I have the feelings I have for him but they are so strong that my heart gets blacker everyday. I can not figure out why. I wish I knew the answers to everything that's been troubling me but I don't. This is why I started this journal to get help from anyone who cares which is probably no one but I figured to give it a shot, what could it hurt. I hate my self more and more everyday so I choose not to eat a lot. Sometimes a phone call gets me to eat, especially if it is Tracy, Adam or Brigid (Tracy and Adam are supervisors at work).

You don't post in your journal spencer_diehard March 20 2004, 07:09:58 UTC

Hi Kim. Don't know why I never noticed your reply to my post in abusesurvivors journal before. If I were you, I would copy-and-paste that bio you wrote on your own journal, too, either as a post, or as your bio ( ... )

purplehopel January 22 2004, 05:47:02 UTC

hiya KC,
Great to meet you. My name is Hope. Do you also post in or check out The social work community?

I agree with you about the exploitation by cultures and society as a whole. Just the simple fact of what is considered beautiful in a woman in our media proves that. I mean, how many of us are really size 2's and 100 pounds when we are adults? And how sad that these girls have to demean themselves to living such a lifestyle that is NOT natural or healthy. No wonder so many girls are lost and sad. No wonder so many little girls are so confused about beauty and body image!

Anyway, it's nice to meet you, and I'd like to applaud you for your journey of healing. How long have you been on your journey?

I've friended you and feel free to do the same.

Hope Crystal :)

spencer_diehard January 22 2004, 06:28:57 UTC

Well, Hope, nice meeting you. IMO, I've been "on my journey" in some form or another since I was 10, I think. I'd tattled, and didn't get the abuse interrupted, so I stopped it myself. Required huge amounts of vigilance, though, fortified with shame, paranoia... I don't recommend children "rescuing" themselves. Creates a different form of scars. Also, it felt like I "caused" the divorce that happened within a year or so after I "stopped" it. LOTS of "start" points, really. Getting raped instead of merely masterbated on -- that was age 9. Telling an outsider my secret, that was to a magazine advise columnist. I was probably 15. Telling my primary perpetrator my trust issues with men was HIS fault: that was age 16... But every advance was muddied with outside efforts to suppress, or trivialize...

sunkistsoda January 22 2004, 00:36:50 UTC

that's a lot to be proud of!
thank you for posting, that gives me a lot of hope.

annaswede January 23 2004, 22:49:35 UTC

I am glad you are okay now.

I was abused by my father from early on. I have never confronted him though.

Anyway, I am glad you joined.

mishakal March 5 2004, 22:23:57 UTC

everything you said is so very true.

i think i said something recently that people like us are the only ones who can change the world.. society. it seems impossible.. but there is just such.. a strength among the people who are exploited.. like no one will ever give in you know? strength.. it's beautiful and tragic.

welcome to the community. i find these places can really really help. <3 i just recently joined myself but i find that just hearing people.. that understand. it's amazing.