SG_FigNewton Birthday Alphabet Soup
In honor of sg_fignewton's birthday, a special collection of ficlets:
S is for Suspect, a "four things" of sorts by holdouttrout
There were those beans on P4S-292. Everyone on base remembers that planetary designation, because SG-1 came back with a perfectly good treaty, stories of friendly people, and bright green skin.
There were Vulcan jokes for a month, which is about how long it took for the color to fade completely.
*_*_*_*_*
Cam wasn't the only member of SG-1 to be investigated for a crime he didn't commit. Sam once noticed a thief sneaking away from a merchant and had grabbed him. She was arrested for assault before she could explain, and Daniel had a devil of a time with the justice system trying to get her cleared. Then there was the time Daniel was taken into custody for dressing "immodestly," because he'd been mistaken for a woman. (Jack said, later, that looking at their women, he could understand why.) He considered growing out a beard after that one.
*_*_*_*_*
Sam was always troubled by the mess they encountered on PX4-227. They'd ended up smack in the middle of a murder investigation, and while no one had accused anyone on SG-1, and while they'd supposedly caught the murderer, something always bothered her about the situation.
She never did manage to put her finger on it.
*_*_*_*_*
"Daniel."
"Jack?"
Jack stared at the thing Daniel was holding. It was about a foot cubed, and wrapped in plain brown paper. It looked like a hundred parcels that came through the SGC every day, but Daniel was all wide eyes and innocence, and Jack knew--knew--something was up.
Jack pointed his shoulders at the box. "What's that?"
Daniel feigned surprise. "Oh! Er...nothing. Well, it's something, but nothing interesting--at least not that you'd be interested in. It's very interesting to me."
Jack's eyebrows rose of their own accord, he swore.
"Daniel. If that thing is going to blow up or something..."
Daniel shook his head. "No, no. Nothing like that." He looked down at the box and frowned. "At least I don't think so."
Jack sighed. He briefly debated asking more questions, and then decided against it. He really didn't want to deal with this today.
He was reconsidering that decision when the package made a reappearance later that day, the brown paper torn away from the top, revealing a cake with the weirdest-looking candles he'd ever seen.
"Sam made them," Daniel said dryly as Jack gave Carter, Teal'c, and Daniel all his special "I am not amused" look.
Oh, boy.
They sang. Jack blew. The candles stayed lit.
Sam beamed. "Thor may have helped a little, sir."
"And that means..."
"Well, we combined the technology of the Asgard lighting to create the effect of lit candles, and we used a bit of basic Ancient technology--"
"Carter."
"Try thinking at them, sir."
Jack almost sighed, but thought "out" at the candles. Out they went. Sam smiled harder. Teal'c looked less worried, and Jack knew exactly how the old guy felt.
"So..." Jack said. Sam and Daniel looked expectantly at him. "You guys just had to make me the most complicated cake the universe has ever seen."
Daniel and Sam exchanged a look. "Yep," Sam said, just as Daniel said, "Basically."
They grinned. Jack closed his eyes. What had he ever done to deserve this? When he opened them again, Teal'c was threatening the cake with a knife, Daniel standing ready with plates.
"Next year," Jack said, "You're going to forget my birthday." He was at least going to remember it himself, damn it.
Daniel smirked. "Sure."
"Of course, sir."
"I believe you get the first piece, O'Neill," Teal'c said.
So he did.
G is for Gray by stargazercmc
It's been three years since she got the first one, but Cassie is still surprised when the Valentine's Day package comes each year.
She tears open the padded envelope to find the box. Gold, this year, and she thinks it matches the thin, braided strand she never forgets to put on in the morning. She waits before lifting the lid; she knows its contents already. She drinks a glass of water before coming back to the kitchen table.
After a moment, she tugs open the box to see a small note and another box. She sets the note aside, then strokes the black velvet case and touches the chain at her neck. Time to assign a memory for this year. Cassie remembers their shopping trip for her eighth grade Spring Dance. She tried ruffles and lace before choosing satin - it was cool to the touch and she hoped it would keep her from flushing if Toby Decker asked her to dance. She didn't tell her mother that, but Janet's smile made her think she knew anyway.
The chiming clock tells her that class is soon. Cassie reaches forward and slowly unhinges the case. Lying on the soft bed of blue lining is a dark gray pearl. She reaches up and unhooks her necklace. She takes the pearl and carefully threads the chain with it, letting it fall beside the other two. She hooks the clasp around her neck before getting up with the note in her hand.
She isn't positive who sends them, but she thinks it might be Jack's sideways slant each year. "We remember with you," she reads, more from memory than cognizance. She rests the note on the table and allows herself one last touch of gray before gathering her books.
_ is for freespace by zats_clear
"DanielJackson, would you please remove your boots from my lower back?"
"Why don't we all just take off our boots?"
"Oh. No. I, um, don't think you want me to take off my ..."
"Carter, if he takes off his boots, we may never recover."
"Really! Like you're some kind of rosebud yourself, Jack?"
"I'm not sayin' that, it's just that your feet are in a class all their own!"
"I regret that CaptainCarter and I did not properly secure our tent for such weather."
"S'alright, Teal'c. We're still on a bit of a learning curve here."
"Honestly, the MALP readings should have indicated that we could expect these high winds and heavy rains. I'll need to look into a better forecasting program when we get back to the SGC."
"Whose hand is that?"
"Oh, sorry. I was just looking for a safe place to put my glasses while I sleep."
"And you were thinking they would be safe in..."
"Holy Hannah, what is that?"
"Welcome to my world, Sam."
"CaptainCarter, I believe we will continue with the standard bunking assignments when off-world."
"Oh, fercryin'outloud, I would not have eaten the Chili Mac if I'd known we were all going to be so up close and personal."
"Well, Jack, you did mention we should plan on an evening at your place to get to know each other better."
"Yeah, but I was thinking burgers and beer, not raindrops and roses."
"I do not see any roses in this tent, Colonel O'Neill."
"And maybe a movie. To bring Teal'c up to speed on your pop culture references."
"Anything but sci fi. I hate that space stuff."
"Hey, did the rain stop?"
"I'll go see if I can find our tent, Teal'c."
"I will assist you, CaptainCarter."
"Don't let the tent flap hit you on the way out!"
"I think I'll just, uh, go and, uh, help them."
"Ahh, finally. Some free space."
F is for Freedom by traycer_
The sun had gone down in a blaze of glory, but Jack O'Neill was already wishing for the morning. Even with the fire blazing in the pit he and his team had stumbled upon, the cold still seemed to find its way into his very being. He hunched his shoulders and pulled up the lapels of his coat, then reached over to grab the coffee pot, only to snatch his hand back with a snarl when he realized the pot was too hot to handle.
"The pot may be hot," Daniel Jackson said with a grin as he sipped from his own cup. Jack glared at the man for a second, then went back to the task of pouring himself a cup of coffee. Even though he had agreed to have Daniel on his team, he was still a rookie, and a pain in the neck as far as Jack was concerned. Still, they'd only been on a few missions and already the man was finally starting to feel comfortable as a civilian in a military operation. Now, if only he would start acting a little more like a soldier in a military operation…
Jack sat down next to Carter, who seemed to be deep in thought. She was staring into the fire, her fingers wrapped around a cup. He bumped into her as he tried to get comfortable, prompting a small glare. Jack grinned at her discomfort, then took a sip of his coffee, hoping that the hot liquid would work fast in warming him up. It was going to be a long night.
"Do you think we will ever get used to this," Carter asked. She was now looking up at the sky, which currently displayed two very distinct moons, and a spattering of stars that didn't resemble anything Jack had been taught in his Astronomy classes. "It's beautiful," she went on, "But it's just…" She left the thought hanging, apparently unable to explain herself the way she wanted to.
Jack nodded, knowing exactly what she was talking about. This was only his fourth mission through the Stargate, and he still had trouble understanding the whole concept. He had spent his entire life believing in the here and now, only to find himself traveling to other planets and hobnobbing with the natives of said planets. He looked across the fire at Teal'c, who just happened to be one of the aliens Jack hadn't believed in until he had taken that first trip through the Stargate. Teal'c didn't seem to be overly concerned one way or the other by the conversation, or by Jack's stare. He was sitting on a log and eating something out of a cup, quietly listening to everything that was being said, which was par for the course. Teal'c was the type to speak up only when necessary, or when he just had to add in his two cents. Jack knew that this was probably a byproduct of being a First Prime, not to mention his inability to feel like a part of the team, but Jack sometimes wondered how Teal'c could hold off from spouting off what he believed in.
"You know, when I was kid, I wanted to be an astronaut so badly," Carter was saying. Jack brought his attention back to her, remembering her conversation with Kawalsky when they were discussing Major Matt Mason. He grinned at the memory as Carter continued on with her own thoughts. "I used to sit on the porch and stare up at the stars for hours, imagining that I was in a rocket ship and flying through space." She grinned sheepishly before adding, "That desire is what pushed me into Astrophysics."
"Astrophysics," Jack said with a grimace. Carter smirked, and Jack decided to give up a little when he told her, "I wanted to be a race car driver." They were all staring at him now. Jack just shrugged his shoulders. "You know how it is. The need for speed and all that." Carter was nodding her head in understanding, while Daniel and Teal'c went back to their meal.
"I can see you as a race car driver," Carter said knowingly. Jack didn't respond, deciding at that moment to keep it to himself that he had been kidding. Carter on the other hand, had moved on to other territory. "What about you, Daniel? What did you want to be?"
"Both my parents were Archaeologists," Daniel said, after swallowing the mouthful of food that he had been eating. "I spent the first seven years of my life in and out of pyramids and remote villages, exploring past cultures and learning to understand them, even at that age. I knew almost from the beginning that I would be following in their footsteps."
"That must have been an interesting lifestyle," Carter said, her smile aimed directly at Daniel.
"Yeah," Daniel said sadly. Jack wondered about the sadness. Despite spending a lot of time working with Daniel to teach him the basics of staying alive on military maneuvers, he really didn't know the man that well.
"The children in Chulak do not have a choice," Teal'c spoke up, interrupting Jack's musing. "They are born to be Jaffa."
That announcement was met with silence. Carter looked a little uncomfortable, which mirrored Jack's feelings on the subject. He couldn't think of a thing to say to that.
"I imagine that most of them wanted to be a First Prime," Daniel said.
"Indeed," Teal'c intoned somberly. "As did I."
"Well, there you go," Jack said, glad to find something to turn this conversation around to a more positive tone. "You reached your goal."
"As did you," Teal'c responded. "Do you not find your "need for speed" when you are flying your jets?" Jack nodded reluctantly. He had to admit this was so. "And you, Daniel Jackson. You are now exploring other planets in your universe. This must be a great accomplishment among your people."
"Oh yeah," Daniel said sarcastically, and with a little bitterness. Jack stared into his cup, looking for the usually nonexistent coffee ground that he could pretend he was digging out. His team was learning to deal with each other on a personal basis, which seemed to cause a lot of uneasiness every once in a while. Reminding Daniel that his peers thought of him as a crackpot didn't seem to be the right thing to do at the moment.
"And here I am, traveling in space through a Stargate instead of on a rocket ship," Carter said. She seemed to be enthralled with this discovery, although Jack knew that she had already come to terms with her status as a space traveler some time during the first two missions. "I've finally touched those stars I was reaching for when I was a kid."
"A regular Matt Mason," Jack just had to say. She looked at him with surprise, before smiling broadly at him.
"My backpack is cooler than his," she responded with a laugh. Apparently she was remembering the same conversation she had with Kawalsky and Ferretti. Jack took a sip of his coffee as his team resorted to silence. The sat in the firelight, enjoying each other's company until Teal'c spoke up.
"I also used to wish for freedom."
This was said with no emotion whatsoever; he was just stating a fact, but Jack heard a wealth of words in the statement.
"And you have it," he said with conviction. "All the Jaffa will be free." Teal'c bowed his head in agreement, while Jack silently wished he could be sure of his convictions. A lot of things stood in the way.
The fire cracked and popped, while sending a fragrant smoke throughout their little camp. Jack continued to sip his coffee as he thought about his team. They were four different people from various backgrounds, and still they always found something to agree on. This time, the unspoken agreement was on the freedom to choose. He hoped that Teal'c would soon find that freedom for his people. Life was too short to never have the choice.
I is for Ice World by eve11
They were prepared for it, but the bright, frigid cold still hit like a freight train barreling out of the night when the Gate spat them out on Panthe. Even Teal'c coughed discreetly at that first lungful of air.
"Brisk, eh?" Jack said after recovering his voice. His words were muffled through the balaclava, but they traveled far, echoing sharply in the crystal blue-gray stillness stretching out before them.
"Indeed." If his tone was any indication, Teal'c was glowering behind his goggles.
It took a superior sense of self-preservation to keep Jack from reveling in this sign of flappability in his otherwise unflappable companion. Instead, he adjusted his hood, gave himself a half-second to admire the glittering view, and another half-second to categorize all the possible ways it could kill them.
"All right," he said, gathering his breath. "Five clicks east, and keep alert. I expect a full complement of fingers and toes to reach Hoth."
"That's the 'Ha'atha' settlement, Jack--"
"Ah, that means no demonstrative finger-pointing."
Daniel looked to the baggy collection of cinched weather gear at his right for support-- for all its talk of gender equality, the military-industrial complex still hadn't mastered the concept of "petite"-- and caught the barest hint of Carter's shrug underneath.
"The colonel's right," she said. "Stick it out there and it'll freeze that way."
Daniel coughed, only partly from the weather. "Oh don't start."
Carter laughed and clapped Daniel on the back, before hefting her pack and starting off toward Ha'atha with deceptive speed for her relative bulk. Daniel whirled at the touch but recovered, following Carter at a careful pace, while Teal'c held his staff weapon at the ready and stalked after them.
Jack gave the gate platform a once-over, but the cold was already seeping into his bones from the stillness.
"Let's move out," he said to the empty air, and followed his team out onto the ice.
G is for Gravity by abyssinia4077
Sam leaned over the cliff edge, rocks digging into her stomach, trying to judge how far Daniel had to climb.
"So, um, I've mentioned that I'm not fond of heights?" Daniel called for the eighth time, clutching the patchy tree that had stopped his fall.
"You should have thought of that before you insulted the chieftan's wife," Colonel O'Neill shouted back from behind Sam where he and Teal'c were anchoring the other ends of the rope they'd thrown to Daniel.
"One little mistake in translation! They didn't have to throw me over the edge."
"Stick the guy in front of a Jaffa staff weapon and he doesn't blink, dangle him over a little cliff and he never stops complaining," Colonel O'Neill muttered. Sam could hear him bracing himself against the outcropping bedrock. "Okay, Carter, tell him to start climbing.
Sam looked back down. "Daniel, you have the harness secure yet?"
"Uh," Daniel muttered, trying to check the ropes without looking down or letting go of the tree. "Maybe?"
From what Sam could make out, the ropes looked right, or as best as they could get them. He was probably going to have some impressive rope burns, but at least they should manage to get him out (and given that she couldn't even see the bottom of the chasm...). "Okay, Daniel, gravity's not quite as strong here as it is on Earth, so you should be able to do this with Colonel O'Neill's and Teal'c's help but you're going to have to climb it as much as you can."
The small laugh from below didn't sound very confident. "Sam, you're a physicist, can't you turn gravity off or, or, backwards or something? Just for a little while?"
"Sorry, Daniel, doesn't work that way. Law of physics," Sam sighed, shaking her head. "It looks like you've got a good handhold up to your left and a good ledge for your feet near your right knee. Just take it one step at a time."
"Easy for you to say." She didn't think Daniel meant for her to hear the mutter. He reached up gingerly with his left hand, puling up his right foot, but didn't keep his weight close enough to the wall. Sam winced as Daniel slipped and crashed into the cliff edge, knocking the tree lose to careen downwards until it disappeared in the mist. Behind her she could hear twin grunts as her teammates took Daniel's weight and she looked back to see them pressed against rocks, holding with all their strength. At least the pulley she rigged was keeping the rope from fraying on the sharp rocks, even if it wasn't helping them much.
The small "Ow" from below made her look back down to where Daniel was gently swaying, flailing hands and feet against the rock.
"It's okay, Daniel, take your time," Sam shouted down.
"Don't tell him that!" Colonel grunted behind her. "Climb faster, Daniel."
"Sir, that isn't helping," Sam said, watching Daniel finally get purchase with a foot. "That's right, Daniel, just like a ladder, keep your weight in and work your way up."
Ten agonizing minutes later his hands found the edge of the cliff and they hauled him up, gasping, over the edge where he walked about three steps and collapsed onto the ground. "'m never getting up," he muttered as Sam cut the rope harness off him. He cracked open an eye to look at her. "Don't tell Newton, but gravity is very over-rated."
"Oh, c'mon, Daniel, you did good," Sam said, wincing a bit at some of the the raw skin and bruises she revealed. "When we get home you should go climbing with me."
"No-o, I don't think so. Don't need to test gravity any more than necessary," Daniel muttered, sitting up and rubbing his right shoulder. "Can we go home now?"
"Splendid idea," Colonel O'Neill announced. "Before anyone else gets tossed over a cliff."
"Hey, Teal'c," Sam asked on their way back to the 'gate. "Why'd you have such a long rope? It's not standard as part of our packs."
"It will be now," O'Neill muttered behind her.
"In the books Doctor Fraiser recently lent me, one of the characters often found himself in need of a rope," Teal'c told her. "It occurred to me that as we went on similarly long journeys, I should also carry rope."
"We'll have to thank Janet when we get back."
"Indeed."
N is for Nish'ta by pepper_field
Jacob and Teal'c exchanged a look over the heads of the three other members of SG-1.
"Well, this is another fine mess," sighed Jacob.
Teal'c nodded, gloomily. "How long must we wait before we can cure them?" he asked, fingering his zat.
Jacob shook his head. "We'd better make absolutely sure the virus has run its course," he replied. "Obviously we did it too soon, first time."
Jacob stared down at his daughter, who, along with the Colonel and Daniel Jackson, had begun to act strangely as they began the process of debriefing the former cultists. Teal'c had noticed it first, and had acted quickly to keep the Colonel and Daniel from the sharp eyes of the ATF. He'd come to find Jacob, who had just begun to realise that Sam was behaving with uncharacteristic meekness, and they'd quickly corralled the three in one of the tents. Upon Jacob's gentle suggestion that they get some rest, the Colonel, Sam, and Daniel had curled up together in the middle of the tent, and gone straight to sleep. If it hadn't been so problematic, it might've been amusing. Hell, Sam hadn't been this obedient even when she was a little girl, and Jacob was familiar enough by now with the Colonel and Daniel to know that they weren't exactly biddable, either.
Actually, come to think of it, it was kind of amusing.
"We should get them back to the SGC," said Teal'c.
"Yeah," agreed Jacob. "Have them monitored until we know they've been fully infected, so we can cure them for good, next time. God knows what'd happen if the nish'ta mutated again. It might become permanent." His mouth twisted wryly. "Although we'd get fewer complaints about the Colonel's insubordinate behaviour," he added.
Teal'c gave him a look, and Jacob would have sworn blind that there was a spark of amusement, deep in his eyes. "Indeed. I have occasionally wished that my teammates were a little more..." he considered for a moment, "tractable."
They both looked down at the sleeping puppy-pile of three-quarters of SG-1.
"Not all the time, of course," Jacob said. "But I mean, I'm her father, and his superior officer, and... well, I'm older and more experienced than him. A little respect, maybe a little unquestioning obedience, wouldn't be completely out of place."
"They are usually most argumentative," agreed Teal'c, blandly.
"Yeah," said Jacob, thoughtfully. "Usually."
Jacob... said Selmak, warningly - but she said it with such amusement that he wasn't fooled for a moment.
---
"Ow." Daniel scrunched his eyes up, but it didn't help. "Ow. Ow." From either side of him came groans, sounding as bad as he felt. He glanced to his right as the blinding pain in his head receded. The starched infirmary pillowcase was cool beneath his cheek. "Sam. You okay?"
"Ugh," she said, but flapped a hand to indicate that no, she wasn't going to die anytime soon. Daniel turned his head to the left, to where Jack had his hands pressed over his face.
"Damn, I hate those things," said Jack, feelingly. Memory returned slowly to Daniel. Zat fire. He'd been zatted. By Teal'c, if memory served. And before that...
Beside him, Sam sat up quickly. "Dad! Ow," she added, grabbing her head as if she was afraid it was going to fall apart. "Dammit, Dad!"
Daniel sat up more cautiously, and looked around. "Teal'c," he observed. Frowned. "Master Teal'c," he said, remembering more. Teal'c smiled placidly. There was a curse to Daniel's left.
"Teal'c! You... you... Where's Jacob?!" demanded Jack, still staying in the horizontal, but getting up to speed on the glaring front.
"Here, Colonel," came Jacob's calm, amused voice, from the doorway. There was a general movement towards him, but he held up his hands. "Hey, hey!" In one hand was a videocassette. Movement was arrested. "Just a precaution," he said, smoothly, and turned to look at Teal'c. "Lunch?"
"Indeed."
The two sauntered casually out of the room, leaving three defeated figures in their wake. Daniel, Sam and Jack exchanged glances.
"Look on the bright side," suggested Daniel. He paused, and Jack and Sam waited.
"Well?" asked Jack, eventually.
Daniel sighed, and shrugged. He could only come up with one thing. "At least they're on our side?"
E is for E's by randomfreshink
Jack heard the soft muttering and glanced over at Carter and Daniel, his irritation notching up two more levels. He had a clock going in the back of his mind, and every step told him 'too damn long, too damn far.' Three clicks to the gate--twenty to thirty minutes at a hustle. Longer with Teal'c staggering next to him--making him stagger, too. With that extra weight, with this terrain, that was about three clicks too far. With a nudge of his head, he told Daniel to pick up the pace.
He got back a frown from Daniel--a fast flash of a glance, and a grimace. The wind--dry and hot--was lifted Daniel's shaggy hair, pushing it around and into his face, and Daniel wasn't paying attention to it. He had an arm around Carter, and Carter had Daniel's boonie on her head--and Daniel's bandana, still soaked and dripping hid her eyes.
Daniel lengthened his stride, but his eyes held nothing good--regret layered over worry, and hot temper lurking behind that in bright flashes that kept sneaking out. Jack pretty much knew what Daniel was mad about--who Daniel was ticked at--but he couldn't do anything about it right now. Then Daniel glanced over at Jack again, and Jack shrugged Teal'c into a better hold, gave a nod, as if this was a walk in the park.
That didn't go over well, and Daniel turned back, and Jack caught the next set of murmurs.
"Elicitation," Daniel said, a soft lisp in a quite tone, sibilant and smooth. Sam's mouth stayed tight with pain, and Jack saw Daniel's arm tighten around her, as he poked at her with his voice. "Come on, you're not trying."
Despite everything, Jack's mouth curved. Thank god for Daniel's gift of being so damn annoying and arrogant. Daniel had just enough of both going right now that Carter's head lifted, the pain distracted off her face for a few steps.
"Fine--elliptic," she shot back, sounding better than she had in the last ten minutes.
"I get that point. Enclitic."
Sam's mouth screwed up again, and she muttered on a soft, exhausted breath, "Entropy." She stumbled over a rock after that, but Daniel had hold of her.
And Jack wanted to turn back now, blow that damn set of ruins to rubble. But he had a role to play.
"What the hell are you two talking about?"
Daniel shot him another glance, the worry darker in his eyes now, and his step hesitating, but Carter pulled Daniel along with her.
"It's a word game, sir. Comparative terms, but Daniel cheats with obscure liquist jargon."
Daniel's sputtered denial sounded almost real, and Carter's voice had almost enough amusement, along with some irritation, to cover the fear hanging onto her words.
Next to him, Jack glanced at Teal'c. They hadn't had two words from him since that damned booby trap had gone off. If Teal'c hadn't been as fast as he was, they'd be taking Carter home in a couple of parts. As it was, she'd gotten the worst of the blast in her face--shredded bits of rock had peppered her skin and they didn't known how much had gone into her eyes.
And Jack knew what Daniel was thinking--because the man had gone as silent as Teal'c.
Daniel had been the one to call Carter over, to ask her to look at something that seemed technical to him. It was. A nice bit of tech designed to go off when a Goa'uld got near. Carter had just enough naquadah in her now to set it off. Daniel had moved aside for Carter to see the thing. But at the first soft click and whir, Teal'c had slammed into Carter, tried to grab her and spin her away. He'd taken the worst of the blast on his side. But he hadn't been able to shield her from all of it. Hell, the blast took them all to the ground.
But Daniel had been the one to ask her to look.
With a fast, vicious move, Daniel kicked a rock out of the way, then asked, voice as mild as milk, "You play word games, Teal'c?"
Teal'c leaned more on this staff, less on Jack, staggered, his feet dragging. Sure, he had a symboite to help heal him, but he'd also started bleeding again. Jack could feel the blood warm and sticky under his palm.
"I do not."
The words came out certain and strong--that was for Carter.
Jack had been the first to recover from the shock of the blast. He was there in two seconds, dragging his people away from the even more ruined ruins, but Daniel was the one who'd seen the damage to Carter. He'd had his canteen out and poured it all into her eyes, did the same with his other one, and Jack had handed him two more and had told him to keep going.
Carter hadn't been in a state to complain, could only sputter, and had tried to push Daniel's hand away. Her unseeing gaze had just about had Jack ready to send Daniel packing for the gate for help.
Except now he knew this place was rigged.
Miles of ruins--most of it bombed flat, but a few building standing. If one of them was set to kill, why not more. He trusted Daniel with a lot of things, but recognizing a death trap--well, no way was he sending Daniel back alone. Which mean patching up Teal'c, and getting him up, and getting Carter's eyes covered, and now Daniel was half carrying her.
"If we're going to play the non-linguistic edition--ephemeral," Daniel said.
"Ephemeris--and it's not cheating to use the same prefix. Besides, you should lose two points for skipping ahead on second letter in the sequence."
Jack shook his head. Less than two klicks now--they were making good time, but Jack had the sweat pooling on his lower back, because he wasn't sure it was fast enough.
Daniel just keep his head down, kept striding forward. "Well, if you want to play that way--exogamy."
"Which is...?" Jack drawled, willing for once to butt into the geek fest. He was glad he did when he caught a glimpse under the bandage of a smile from Carter.
"The willingness to marry outside of one's group," she said, her hand tightening on Daniel. Jack was going to bet that was because she needed the support.
Daniel gave another frown at Jack, who just shrugged back, because what, he was going to let Daniel hog the whole distracting Carter thing.
"There are no words that begin with the letter 'e' in the Jaffa language." Teal'c said. That had both Carter and Daniel turning, just about tripping over each other.
Jack grimaced, kept his voice light as he shot back, "Exactly."
That got a groan from Daniel, another from Carter, and they were back at the gate before there was a chance out of the 'e's. Jack was yelling for medics before he'd finished dragging Teal'c out of the wormhole, but they were already there; an early call home always put Hammond on alert.
Carter was on a gurney, and thank god, Janet lifted the bandage, flashed a smile at him, before she snapped off order to get Teal'c on the other stretcher, get them all to the infirmary. That smile relaxed the knot tying up Jack's guts, and he let out a long breath, then glanced over at Daniel.
The blue eyes were dark still, and Daniel had his arms folded tight, had his head down to hide everything.
Jack slapped his hand on Daniel's shoulder. "Carter's going to be okay." He offered up a smile that could have matched Janet's, but while Daniel looked up, the tensed shoulder under Jack's grip didn't relax.
"How do you know that?" The tension and fear that hadn't been in Daniel's voice earlier was there now, raspy and raw.
Jack gave the man's shoulder a firm shake. "Daniel, sometimes you don't need words to know things." A hesitant smile started, and Jack decided he could play the distraction game, too, so he said, "Enclitic, Daniel?"
"What--it's a clitic that's attached to the end of another word."
"Oh, I'm so not touching that one. You keep that up, and people are going to think you're taking dirty to Carter."
"Elative case? Elision? Exophora?"
"Aht--save it for Carter."
"Jack, she's going--
"--to be fine, Daniel. You did good out there. But let's go hear that from Janet." And he started pushing on Daniel to get him to move, got them both to the infirmary so they could both hear it from Janet--and see that Carter already had the bandage off, already had blue eyes open and sparking again. And Jack got himself out of there before his geeks could start up with the 'f's.
W is for Worldview by shutthef_up
Until the Stargate program, Jack O’Neill’s worldview was pretty simple. There were Good Guys and Bad Guys. Sure, there were some in-between people, but their inaction or indecision tended to benefit the Bad Guys despite their best intentions. It really wasn’t until he met Teal’c that he gave much thought to the middle ground of the enslaved and deceived. It took time, experience and consistent exposure to his headstrong archaeologist for Jack to come around to a new worldview.
Samantha Carter’s worldview was based almost entirely on the laws of physics and science. It wasn’t so much that she didn’t care about the ‘human element’ as much as it simply didn’t occur to her. Science was safer. It was precise, everything explainable and fitting neatly into its space. The Stargate program changed everything. It pushed the limits of known science and she often had to struggle to fit the new realities into what she knew to be true. She was called upon to expand on known principles and often found herself arguing with brilliant but closed-minded scientists. It was frustrating, exciting and amazing all at once.
Teal’c’s worldview was larger than most Jaffa, but as First Prime to Apophis, it needed to be. He anticipated his god’s needs and moods. He’d been part bodyguard and enforcer and part butler, an occupation he learned about after he came to Earth at O’Neill’s invitation. He understood the satisfaction that was possible through service to another, but found it hard to believe that anyone would freely choose such an occupation. Earth was a strange, chaotic place. Hundreds of nations, millions of people, sometimes clashing violently, other times coming together in harmony, but it never looked to Teal’c like anything that he expected freedom be. While it was true that not all of Earth’s peoples lived in true freedom, very few of them lived in the kind of slavery the Goa’uld had demanded.
Daniel Jackson is the only one whose worldview has both expanded and shrunk. Expanded in the sense that there’s just so much more out there than he ever imagined possible. Shrunk in the sense that he suspects he used to be so open-minded that his brain was in danger of falling out. And while he still believes that talking is preferable to shooting, there are times when it’s best to let his gun do the talking. The knowledge was hard-won. Death after death, resurrection after resurrection, he’s learned that there are those who have no interest in anything he has to say. Daniel never truly realized how jaded he’d become until Vala stumbled into his life. Something about her just brings it to the fore and before he knows it, bitter words tumble from his lips. Sometimes he regrets it, sometimes he doesn’t but he remembers a time when he was a kinder, gentler person.
T is for Trouble by maychorian
Another world, another jungle. This one was even more like a real, you know, jungle jungle, instead of a temperate forest. SG-1 walked single file down a narrow trail, Jack on point, Teal’c watching their six. Carter and Daniel were doing their usual big-eyed stare-around thing, still getting used to the whole thing.
Well, to be fair, they were all still getting used to it. They’d only been on a few missions so far, and if those were any indication, the only thing they could count on for sure every time they stepped through the ‘gate was a lot of trouble and potential trauma. Which was okay for bonding a new team, Jack supposed, but they also needed to learn how to deal with each other when things weren’t going splodey all over the place. So this was good. This one was going smooth. His team could get used to each other in a slightly more casual way, and that was cool.
The natives on this planet, friendly agrarian types who took to Daniel’s brand of diplomacy right off, seemed pretty welcoming, if a little antsy about something Jack couldn’t quite put his finger on. Not open to trading right away, more wanting to get rid of them, but at least not trying to kill them. Always a good thing.
When Daniel asked if there was anything SG-1 could do for them, something to prove their friendliness and open a possibility of further relations, their chieftain-type had hesitated slightly, then nodded, and said that there was an artifact, something of great religious importance to them, in a nearby shrine that they weren’t able to retrieve since the encroaching jungle had blocked off their safe path. Because it was a “forbidden jungle.” (It showed up in Jack’s head in all capital letters-FORBIDDEN JUNGLE-intoned in the voice of James Earl Jones, or perhaps Vincent Price, and he just knew that that wasn’t go to away any time soon.) So could the visitors from another world go fetch it, pretty please?
Apparently it was only FORBIDDEN for the natives to go into the JUNGLE. Nothing wrong with sending random strangers off to do their errands. So Daniel nodded eagerly, barely glancing at Jack for permission, and that after he had already agreed to do it, but Jack guessed it was okay, this time. Definitely something they could do. If only every native population was so easy to please.
So far the FORBIDDEN JUNGLE wasn’t so bad. A little dark and a tiny bit creepy, but not dangerous or anything. Still, all of Jack’s senses were on high alert. There was usually a reason when a JUNGLE was FORBIDDEN (damn, that voice was not going away), even if the reason was weird.
And then something small and dark and awful started dropping on them from the trees.
“Holy crap!” Carter jumped at least three feet at the first touch of one of them landing in her short blond hair, flailing her gun around in a way that violated several safety protocols, and then an avalanche poured down on them all, and the apocalypse had come.
They were everywhere. And God, they had too many legs, and they were all hairy and horrible and there were way too many of them, and Jack totally froze up the way he almost never did, feeling his eyes go saucer-size in his head. There were dozens of them crawling over him, all over his team members, and he couldn’t move, he couldn’t save them, oh God oh God they were all gonna die.
After a moment the panic faded and the white leached out of Jack’s vision, though he still stood locked in place, hands tight on his gun, unable to move. Tarantulas. Lots of them, each one as big as Teal’c’s massive palm, wiggling hairy legs moving in that freaky hypnotic pattern, and oh sweet merciful baby Jesus they were doomed and they should have stayed far, far away from the FORBIDDEN JUNGLE, he should have heeded the menacing voice of Vincent Price, they were all going to die a horrible ignominious death and it was all his fault for not tackling Daniel to the ground and yelling “No no no, never, we won’t do it, we won’t go in there!” at the top of his lungs.
Captain Carter was fighting valiantly, waving her arms in the air, trying to throw them off without actually touching them with her hands, blue eyes wide and breathing quick and ragged. Well, at least she could move. Even Teal’c’s eyes were a little bigger than usual, his face frozen in a stony mask that told Jack he was terrified, and he was smashing tarantulas on the ground with the butt of his staff weapon, shoulders shivering convulsively under the hairy mass that covered them.
And his archaeologist…his archaeologist… Jack couldn’t believe it. Daniel was shaking, too, but not the same kind of shaking, he was, he was.
Trying not to laugh?
Daniel was trying not to laugh at them. Terrible hairy spiders were crawling all over him, too, and he was standing there with one hand jammed over his mouth, blue eyes sparkling behind his glasses, floppy hair wiggling around as his head shook in a supreme effort to contain his laughter.
“Care to enlighten us on what’s so freaking hilarious, Daniel?” Jack called, hearing the shakiness in his voice and not caring. They were all under attack by the minions of hell, and Daniel was laughing at them. Not cool.
Daniel choked a bit, then lowered his hand. He was grinning, broad and sweet, unable to stop. “They’re just tarantulas, you guys. Come on.”
“Yeah, that’s hysterical,” Jack said. With this little extra bit of weirdness, though, he found himself finally able to relax out of his paralysis, hands loosening around his gun, though the grip left deep red imprints in his palm. “I mean, they’re not scary at all, right?”
“Oh, come on, Jack.” Daniel stepped over to Carter, ignoring the tarantulas crawling all over him, and gently began to brush off the ones on her back, taking the time to untangle a couple from her hair. Carter stood still under his ministrations, still gasping for breath. “You were deployed overseas. Didn’t you ever walk through a jungle before?”
“I was in Iraq, you jerk.” Jack reached up one hand to grab the hairy thing clinging to his breast pocket, and couldn’t do it, fingers frozen several inches away. “The desert doesn’t have much in the way of wildlife. And yeah, I went other places, too, but I was never buried in a pile of spiders before.”
Carter nodded jerkily. “I flew over Iraq. Spent most of my time in a lab. Nothing like this.”
“I, too, have never experienced this calamity,” Teal’c intoned, still stoically smashing spiders. “And if I had, a Jaffa warrior’s armor would allow no entrance for these creatures.”
“Must have been comforting,” Daniel said calmly. He finished with Carter and moved over to Jack, picking off the spiders one by one. Jack grit his teeth, but still couldn’t help him. Dammit. “I spent several months on a dig in Brazil, deep in the jungle. It got to the point where you just didn’t notice the bugs anymore, because there are way too many of them and they are way too big. You’d spend every day in a constant panic attack if you let them bother you. So I didn’t.”
“That’s…nice for you.” Jack forced the words between unwieldy lips. He could still feel a few crawling on him, and therefore he still couldn’t move.
“Hey, relax!” Daniel grinned, wide and sunny, and patted Jack’s cheek the same way Jack had done to him on multiple occasions, manly and rough. “Do you know what would happen if a tarantula bit you?”
“No.” Just thinking about it was about to send him spiraling down into panic again.
“Nothing, Jack. It’s like getting stung by a bee, that’s all. Stings for a little, maybe burns, might cause problems if you’re allergic to their venom. The bigger they are, the less poisonous. These things are huge. No problem.”
Finally finished, Daniel stood back and started removing spiders from his own body. Jack stared, his fingers itching on his gun. Maybe he could shoot them off.
But no, Daniel had it under control. Jack looked over to the rest of his team, and saw that Carter was brushing spiders off Teal’c with the butt of her gun, carefully standing several feet away. She was almost done, and at least the big guy had no hair for them to get tangled in. Once on the ground, the tarantulas scuttled away, deep into the jungle. Never to be seen again, Jack fervently hoped. At last, they were free.
Daniel stepped back over and put a gentle hand on Jack’s shoulder. “Hey, you want to go back to the village? I can finish this mission myself, go get the artifact and bring it back. Hap’la’s directions were very clear.”
Jack swallowed, and shook his head. “No. No, we finish this together.”
“Leave no man behind, huh?” Daniel grinned and looked forward, along the path toward their final destination. “Well, how about if I take point? If we run into any more, I can deal with it.”
Oh, God. He hoped that they wouldn’t run into any more. Jack nodded tightly, and stepped back to let his archaeologist take the lead.
It’s like a bee sting, he repeated to himself over and over. The bigger they are, the less poisonous. No problem.
Repeating that mantra was the only way that he was able to get into and out of the FORBIDDEN JUNGLE. That, and knowing that Daniel could handle anything that happened.
Yeah, he had a good team. If Jack couldn’t deal with something, Carter could. And if Carter couldn’t deal with something, Teal’c could. And if none of them could deal with it, Daniel could.
It was a very comforting thought, and it was the most important thing that Jack took from this mission. It never went into any report and he didn’t tell anyone, not General Hammond, not Doc Frasier, not even Daniel, but it was true. Team bonding when things weren’t going splodey. Always the best.
O is for Oz by crazedturkey
“Maybe we should stage an intervention.”
There was a long silence in the locker room. To her right, Daniel kept filling his mission pack, his face entirely flat. Sam watched him for a full minute before she snapped.
“Don’t you think that’s a little extreme?” She asked deliberately.
Daniel turned towards her with a little grin. “Well I wasn’t entirely serious.” He paused, head to one side, “although he does talk about it an awful lot.”
Teal’c stepped in on Sam’s left and placed a heavy foot on the bench.
“Indeed,” he pronounced, the one word conveying a depth of tolerant amusement.
She looked between the two of them from her perch on the locker room bench. “So what do we do about it?” She asked. “Does it matter?”
Teal’c began to lace his boots silently. Daniel shrugged. “Well it does confuse the aliens we encounter.” He sat down next to Sam thoughtfully, his pack on his lap.
Sam snorted a laugh. “Nothing’s going to change that in a hurry.”
“We could hook him on another television show?”
“Is anything else really as apt?”
“What about Star Wars?”
“That unrealistic piece of cr....?!”
A heavy thud heralded Teal’c changing feet on the bench. Sam looked at him contritely. “Sorry, Teal’c.”
Teal’c inclined his head.
“What about that cartoon show he loves?”
Sam sighed. “You know, Daniel. I think we might just have to live with it.”
Daniel opened his mouth to reply just as the locker room door was flung wide.
Jack’s voice preceded him by several seconds. “C’mon then campers. A whole new world awaits.” He appeared in the doorway all geared up, eyes narrowed. “Carter what are you doing in the men’s locker room?”
Sam sprung to her feet guiltily. “Just talking, sir.” She pushed past him to the empty corridor beyond doing her best to avoid his incredulous gaze. “I’ll see you guys in the Gateroom.”
Five minutes later they stood, four across, watching the Gate dial. Jack stood to Sam’s right, shifting restlessly from foot to foot.
“Can you believe these guys have an actual emerald city?!” He finally burst out.
Daniel elbowed Sam in the ribs and gave her a pointed look.
The Gate connected with a whoosh, the blue puddle rippling with silver light.
Jack settled his cap on his head with a wide grin. “C’mon Dorothy, let’s go find the yellow brick road!” He said enthusiastically.
Sam looked round. “I’d better not be Dorothy,” she said deliberately.
“Oh God this is going to be a long day,” Daniel moaned.
Teal’c tightened his hands on his staff weapon and stared resolutely ahead. “Indeed.”
N is for No Way by supplyship
"No."
"C'mon, Daniel-"
"Nope."
"Seriously, just sign-"
"Nada. Nyet. Nein. Non. I know 23 different languages, so I can go on like this for awhile, and still give you the same answer."
Jack looked over at Sam for backup. She took a deep breath and tried a different tactic. "Daniel, you're her absolute favorite-"
"For some unknown reason," Jack muttered.
Sam glared at him: "Not helping, sir," she said with false brightness before turning to Daniel once more. "It would mean so much to her on her birthday."
"Gee, thanks, Sam. Guilt-trip much?" Daniel snipped. "Look, I'll sign a card or something, but not this."
"It would show great character to offer this admirer such a memento, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c intoned.
Daniel threw his arms up. "Teal'c! Not you too!"
Jack thrust a Sharpie in Daniel's face. "Just sign the damn thing already so we can get it in the mail!"
"Guys, I don't care if it *is* for sg_fignewton, I'm NOT autographing a security camera still of me in nothing but the SGC flag!!!"
S is for Suspect, a "four things" of sorts by holdouttrout
There were those beans on P4S-292. Everyone on base remembers that planetary designation, because SG-1 came back with a perfectly good treaty, stories of friendly people, and bright green skin.
There were Vulcan jokes for a month, which is about how long it took for the color to fade completely.
*_*_*_*_*
Cam wasn't the only member of SG-1 to be investigated for a crime he didn't commit. Sam once noticed a thief sneaking away from a merchant and had grabbed him. She was arrested for assault before she could explain, and Daniel had a devil of a time with the justice system trying to get her cleared. Then there was the time Daniel was taken into custody for dressing "immodestly," because he'd been mistaken for a woman. (Jack said, later, that looking at their women, he could understand why.) He considered growing out a beard after that one.
*_*_*_*_*
Sam was always troubled by the mess they encountered on PX4-227. They'd ended up smack in the middle of a murder investigation, and while no one had accused anyone on SG-1, and while they'd supposedly caught the murderer, something always bothered her about the situation.
She never did manage to put her finger on it.
*_*_*_*_*
"Daniel."
"Jack?"
Jack stared at the thing Daniel was holding. It was about a foot cubed, and wrapped in plain brown paper. It looked like a hundred parcels that came through the SGC every day, but Daniel was all wide eyes and innocence, and Jack knew--knew--something was up.
Jack pointed his shoulders at the box. "What's that?"
Daniel feigned surprise. "Oh! Er...nothing. Well, it's something, but nothing interesting--at least not that you'd be interested in. It's very interesting to me."
Jack's eyebrows rose of their own accord, he swore.
"Daniel. If that thing is going to blow up or something..."
Daniel shook his head. "No, no. Nothing like that." He looked down at the box and frowned. "At least I don't think so."
Jack sighed. He briefly debated asking more questions, and then decided against it. He really didn't want to deal with this today.
He was reconsidering that decision when the package made a reappearance later that day, the brown paper torn away from the top, revealing a cake with the weirdest-looking candles he'd ever seen.
"Sam made them," Daniel said dryly as Jack gave Carter, Teal'c, and Daniel all his special "I am not amused" look.
Oh, boy.
They sang. Jack blew. The candles stayed lit.
Sam beamed. "Thor may have helped a little, sir."
"And that means..."
"Well, we combined the technology of the Asgard lighting to create the effect of lit candles, and we used a bit of basic Ancient technology--"
"Carter."
"Try thinking at them, sir."
Jack almost sighed, but thought "out" at the candles. Out they went. Sam smiled harder. Teal'c looked less worried, and Jack knew exactly how the old guy felt.
"So..." Jack said. Sam and Daniel looked expectantly at him. "You guys just had to make me the most complicated cake the universe has ever seen."
Daniel and Sam exchanged a look. "Yep," Sam said, just as Daniel said, "Basically."
They grinned. Jack closed his eyes. What had he ever done to deserve this? When he opened them again, Teal'c was threatening the cake with a knife, Daniel standing ready with plates.
"Next year," Jack said, "You're going to forget my birthday." He was at least going to remember it himself, damn it.
Daniel smirked. "Sure."
"Of course, sir."
"I believe you get the first piece, O'Neill," Teal'c said.
So he did.
G is for Gray by stargazercmc
It's been three years since she got the first one, but Cassie is still surprised when the Valentine's Day package comes each year.
She tears open the padded envelope to find the box. Gold, this year, and she thinks it matches the thin, braided strand she never forgets to put on in the morning. She waits before lifting the lid; she knows its contents already. She drinks a glass of water before coming back to the kitchen table.
After a moment, she tugs open the box to see a small note and another box. She sets the note aside, then strokes the black velvet case and touches the chain at her neck. Time to assign a memory for this year. Cassie remembers their shopping trip for her eighth grade Spring Dance. She tried ruffles and lace before choosing satin - it was cool to the touch and she hoped it would keep her from flushing if Toby Decker asked her to dance. She didn't tell her mother that, but Janet's smile made her think she knew anyway.
The chiming clock tells her that class is soon. Cassie reaches forward and slowly unhinges the case. Lying on the soft bed of blue lining is a dark gray pearl. She reaches up and unhooks her necklace. She takes the pearl and carefully threads the chain with it, letting it fall beside the other two. She hooks the clasp around her neck before getting up with the note in her hand.
She isn't positive who sends them, but she thinks it might be Jack's sideways slant each year. "We remember with you," she reads, more from memory than cognizance. She rests the note on the table and allows herself one last touch of gray before gathering her books.
_ is for freespace by zats_clear
"DanielJackson, would you please remove your boots from my lower back?"
"Why don't we all just take off our boots?"
"Oh. No. I, um, don't think you want me to take off my ..."
"Carter, if he takes off his boots, we may never recover."
"Really! Like you're some kind of rosebud yourself, Jack?"
"I'm not sayin' that, it's just that your feet are in a class all their own!"
"I regret that CaptainCarter and I did not properly secure our tent for such weather."
"S'alright, Teal'c. We're still on a bit of a learning curve here."
"Honestly, the MALP readings should have indicated that we could expect these high winds and heavy rains. I'll need to look into a better forecasting program when we get back to the SGC."
"Whose hand is that?"
"Oh, sorry. I was just looking for a safe place to put my glasses while I sleep."
"And you were thinking they would be safe in..."
"Holy Hannah, what is that?"
"Welcome to my world, Sam."
"CaptainCarter, I believe we will continue with the standard bunking assignments when off-world."
"Oh, fercryin'outloud, I would not have eaten the Chili Mac if I'd known we were all going to be so up close and personal."
"Well, Jack, you did mention we should plan on an evening at your place to get to know each other better."
"Yeah, but I was thinking burgers and beer, not raindrops and roses."
"I do not see any roses in this tent, Colonel O'Neill."
"And maybe a movie. To bring Teal'c up to speed on your pop culture references."
"Anything but sci fi. I hate that space stuff."
"Hey, did the rain stop?"
"I'll go see if I can find our tent, Teal'c."
"I will assist you, CaptainCarter."
"Don't let the tent flap hit you on the way out!"
"I think I'll just, uh, go and, uh, help them."
"Ahh, finally. Some free space."
F is for Freedom by traycer_
The sun had gone down in a blaze of glory, but Jack O'Neill was already wishing for the morning. Even with the fire blazing in the pit he and his team had stumbled upon, the cold still seemed to find its way into his very being. He hunched his shoulders and pulled up the lapels of his coat, then reached over to grab the coffee pot, only to snatch his hand back with a snarl when he realized the pot was too hot to handle.
"The pot may be hot," Daniel Jackson said with a grin as he sipped from his own cup. Jack glared at the man for a second, then went back to the task of pouring himself a cup of coffee. Even though he had agreed to have Daniel on his team, he was still a rookie, and a pain in the neck as far as Jack was concerned. Still, they'd only been on a few missions and already the man was finally starting to feel comfortable as a civilian in a military operation. Now, if only he would start acting a little more like a soldier in a military operation…
Jack sat down next to Carter, who seemed to be deep in thought. She was staring into the fire, her fingers wrapped around a cup. He bumped into her as he tried to get comfortable, prompting a small glare. Jack grinned at her discomfort, then took a sip of his coffee, hoping that the hot liquid would work fast in warming him up. It was going to be a long night.
"Do you think we will ever get used to this," Carter asked. She was now looking up at the sky, which currently displayed two very distinct moons, and a spattering of stars that didn't resemble anything Jack had been taught in his Astronomy classes. "It's beautiful," she went on, "But it's just…" She left the thought hanging, apparently unable to explain herself the way she wanted to.
Jack nodded, knowing exactly what she was talking about. This was only his fourth mission through the Stargate, and he still had trouble understanding the whole concept. He had spent his entire life believing in the here and now, only to find himself traveling to other planets and hobnobbing with the natives of said planets. He looked across the fire at Teal'c, who just happened to be one of the aliens Jack hadn't believed in until he had taken that first trip through the Stargate. Teal'c didn't seem to be overly concerned one way or the other by the conversation, or by Jack's stare. He was sitting on a log and eating something out of a cup, quietly listening to everything that was being said, which was par for the course. Teal'c was the type to speak up only when necessary, or when he just had to add in his two cents. Jack knew that this was probably a byproduct of being a First Prime, not to mention his inability to feel like a part of the team, but Jack sometimes wondered how Teal'c could hold off from spouting off what he believed in.
"You know, when I was kid, I wanted to be an astronaut so badly," Carter was saying. Jack brought his attention back to her, remembering her conversation with Kawalsky when they were discussing Major Matt Mason. He grinned at the memory as Carter continued on with her own thoughts. "I used to sit on the porch and stare up at the stars for hours, imagining that I was in a rocket ship and flying through space." She grinned sheepishly before adding, "That desire is what pushed me into Astrophysics."
"Astrophysics," Jack said with a grimace. Carter smirked, and Jack decided to give up a little when he told her, "I wanted to be a race car driver." They were all staring at him now. Jack just shrugged his shoulders. "You know how it is. The need for speed and all that." Carter was nodding her head in understanding, while Daniel and Teal'c went back to their meal.
"I can see you as a race car driver," Carter said knowingly. Jack didn't respond, deciding at that moment to keep it to himself that he had been kidding. Carter on the other hand, had moved on to other territory. "What about you, Daniel? What did you want to be?"
"Both my parents were Archaeologists," Daniel said, after swallowing the mouthful of food that he had been eating. "I spent the first seven years of my life in and out of pyramids and remote villages, exploring past cultures and learning to understand them, even at that age. I knew almost from the beginning that I would be following in their footsteps."
"That must have been an interesting lifestyle," Carter said, her smile aimed directly at Daniel.
"Yeah," Daniel said sadly. Jack wondered about the sadness. Despite spending a lot of time working with Daniel to teach him the basics of staying alive on military maneuvers, he really didn't know the man that well.
"The children in Chulak do not have a choice," Teal'c spoke up, interrupting Jack's musing. "They are born to be Jaffa."
That announcement was met with silence. Carter looked a little uncomfortable, which mirrored Jack's feelings on the subject. He couldn't think of a thing to say to that.
"I imagine that most of them wanted to be a First Prime," Daniel said.
"Indeed," Teal'c intoned somberly. "As did I."
"Well, there you go," Jack said, glad to find something to turn this conversation around to a more positive tone. "You reached your goal."
"As did you," Teal'c responded. "Do you not find your "need for speed" when you are flying your jets?" Jack nodded reluctantly. He had to admit this was so. "And you, Daniel Jackson. You are now exploring other planets in your universe. This must be a great accomplishment among your people."
"Oh yeah," Daniel said sarcastically, and with a little bitterness. Jack stared into his cup, looking for the usually nonexistent coffee ground that he could pretend he was digging out. His team was learning to deal with each other on a personal basis, which seemed to cause a lot of uneasiness every once in a while. Reminding Daniel that his peers thought of him as a crackpot didn't seem to be the right thing to do at the moment.
"And here I am, traveling in space through a Stargate instead of on a rocket ship," Carter said. She seemed to be enthralled with this discovery, although Jack knew that she had already come to terms with her status as a space traveler some time during the first two missions. "I've finally touched those stars I was reaching for when I was a kid."
"A regular Matt Mason," Jack just had to say. She looked at him with surprise, before smiling broadly at him.
"My backpack is cooler than his," she responded with a laugh. Apparently she was remembering the same conversation she had with Kawalsky and Ferretti. Jack took a sip of his coffee as his team resorted to silence. The sat in the firelight, enjoying each other's company until Teal'c spoke up.
"I also used to wish for freedom."
This was said with no emotion whatsoever; he was just stating a fact, but Jack heard a wealth of words in the statement.
"And you have it," he said with conviction. "All the Jaffa will be free." Teal'c bowed his head in agreement, while Jack silently wished he could be sure of his convictions. A lot of things stood in the way.
The fire cracked and popped, while sending a fragrant smoke throughout their little camp. Jack continued to sip his coffee as he thought about his team. They were four different people from various backgrounds, and still they always found something to agree on. This time, the unspoken agreement was on the freedom to choose. He hoped that Teal'c would soon find that freedom for his people. Life was too short to never have the choice.
I is for Ice World by eve11
They were prepared for it, but the bright, frigid cold still hit like a freight train barreling out of the night when the Gate spat them out on Panthe. Even Teal'c coughed discreetly at that first lungful of air.
"Brisk, eh?" Jack said after recovering his voice. His words were muffled through the balaclava, but they traveled far, echoing sharply in the crystal blue-gray stillness stretching out before them.
"Indeed." If his tone was any indication, Teal'c was glowering behind his goggles.
It took a superior sense of self-preservation to keep Jack from reveling in this sign of flappability in his otherwise unflappable companion. Instead, he adjusted his hood, gave himself a half-second to admire the glittering view, and another half-second to categorize all the possible ways it could kill them.
"All right," he said, gathering his breath. "Five clicks east, and keep alert. I expect a full complement of fingers and toes to reach Hoth."
"That's the 'Ha'atha' settlement, Jack--"
"Ah, that means no demonstrative finger-pointing."
Daniel looked to the baggy collection of cinched weather gear at his right for support-- for all its talk of gender equality, the military-industrial complex still hadn't mastered the concept of "petite"-- and caught the barest hint of Carter's shrug underneath.
"The colonel's right," she said. "Stick it out there and it'll freeze that way."
Daniel coughed, only partly from the weather. "Oh don't start."
Carter laughed and clapped Daniel on the back, before hefting her pack and starting off toward Ha'atha with deceptive speed for her relative bulk. Daniel whirled at the touch but recovered, following Carter at a careful pace, while Teal'c held his staff weapon at the ready and stalked after them.
Jack gave the gate platform a once-over, but the cold was already seeping into his bones from the stillness.
"Let's move out," he said to the empty air, and followed his team out onto the ice.
G is for Gravity by abyssinia4077
Sam leaned over the cliff edge, rocks digging into her stomach, trying to judge how far Daniel had to climb.
"So, um, I've mentioned that I'm not fond of heights?" Daniel called for the eighth time, clutching the patchy tree that had stopped his fall.
"You should have thought of that before you insulted the chieftan's wife," Colonel O'Neill shouted back from behind Sam where he and Teal'c were anchoring the other ends of the rope they'd thrown to Daniel.
"One little mistake in translation! They didn't have to throw me over the edge."
"Stick the guy in front of a Jaffa staff weapon and he doesn't blink, dangle him over a little cliff and he never stops complaining," Colonel O'Neill muttered. Sam could hear him bracing himself against the outcropping bedrock. "Okay, Carter, tell him to start climbing.
Sam looked back down. "Daniel, you have the harness secure yet?"
"Uh," Daniel muttered, trying to check the ropes without looking down or letting go of the tree. "Maybe?"
From what Sam could make out, the ropes looked right, or as best as they could get them. He was probably going to have some impressive rope burns, but at least they should manage to get him out (and given that she couldn't even see the bottom of the chasm...). "Okay, Daniel, gravity's not quite as strong here as it is on Earth, so you should be able to do this with Colonel O'Neill's and Teal'c's help but you're going to have to climb it as much as you can."
The small laugh from below didn't sound very confident. "Sam, you're a physicist, can't you turn gravity off or, or, backwards or something? Just for a little while?"
"Sorry, Daniel, doesn't work that way. Law of physics," Sam sighed, shaking her head. "It looks like you've got a good handhold up to your left and a good ledge for your feet near your right knee. Just take it one step at a time."
"Easy for you to say." She didn't think Daniel meant for her to hear the mutter. He reached up gingerly with his left hand, puling up his right foot, but didn't keep his weight close enough to the wall. Sam winced as Daniel slipped and crashed into the cliff edge, knocking the tree lose to careen downwards until it disappeared in the mist. Behind her she could hear twin grunts as her teammates took Daniel's weight and she looked back to see them pressed against rocks, holding with all their strength. At least the pulley she rigged was keeping the rope from fraying on the sharp rocks, even if it wasn't helping them much.
The small "Ow" from below made her look back down to where Daniel was gently swaying, flailing hands and feet against the rock.
"It's okay, Daniel, take your time," Sam shouted down.
"Don't tell him that!" Colonel grunted behind her. "Climb faster, Daniel."
"Sir, that isn't helping," Sam said, watching Daniel finally get purchase with a foot. "That's right, Daniel, just like a ladder, keep your weight in and work your way up."
Ten agonizing minutes later his hands found the edge of the cliff and they hauled him up, gasping, over the edge where he walked about three steps and collapsed onto the ground. "'m never getting up," he muttered as Sam cut the rope harness off him. He cracked open an eye to look at her. "Don't tell Newton, but gravity is very over-rated."
"Oh, c'mon, Daniel, you did good," Sam said, wincing a bit at some of the the raw skin and bruises she revealed. "When we get home you should go climbing with me."
"No-o, I don't think so. Don't need to test gravity any more than necessary," Daniel muttered, sitting up and rubbing his right shoulder. "Can we go home now?"
"Splendid idea," Colonel O'Neill announced. "Before anyone else gets tossed over a cliff."
"Hey, Teal'c," Sam asked on their way back to the 'gate. "Why'd you have such a long rope? It's not standard as part of our packs."
"It will be now," O'Neill muttered behind her.
"In the books Doctor Fraiser recently lent me, one of the characters often found himself in need of a rope," Teal'c told her. "It occurred to me that as we went on similarly long journeys, I should also carry rope."
"We'll have to thank Janet when we get back."
"Indeed."
N is for Nish'ta by pepper_field
Jacob and Teal'c exchanged a look over the heads of the three other members of SG-1.
"Well, this is another fine mess," sighed Jacob.
Teal'c nodded, gloomily. "How long must we wait before we can cure them?" he asked, fingering his zat.
Jacob shook his head. "We'd better make absolutely sure the virus has run its course," he replied. "Obviously we did it too soon, first time."
Jacob stared down at his daughter, who, along with the Colonel and Daniel Jackson, had begun to act strangely as they began the process of debriefing the former cultists. Teal'c had noticed it first, and had acted quickly to keep the Colonel and Daniel from the sharp eyes of the ATF. He'd come to find Jacob, who had just begun to realise that Sam was behaving with uncharacteristic meekness, and they'd quickly corralled the three in one of the tents. Upon Jacob's gentle suggestion that they get some rest, the Colonel, Sam, and Daniel had curled up together in the middle of the tent, and gone straight to sleep. If it hadn't been so problematic, it might've been amusing. Hell, Sam hadn't been this obedient even when she was a little girl, and Jacob was familiar enough by now with the Colonel and Daniel to know that they weren't exactly biddable, either.
Actually, come to think of it, it was kind of amusing.
"We should get them back to the SGC," said Teal'c.
"Yeah," agreed Jacob. "Have them monitored until we know they've been fully infected, so we can cure them for good, next time. God knows what'd happen if the nish'ta mutated again. It might become permanent." His mouth twisted wryly. "Although we'd get fewer complaints about the Colonel's insubordinate behaviour," he added.
Teal'c gave him a look, and Jacob would have sworn blind that there was a spark of amusement, deep in his eyes. "Indeed. I have occasionally wished that my teammates were a little more..." he considered for a moment, "tractable."
They both looked down at the sleeping puppy-pile of three-quarters of SG-1.
"Not all the time, of course," Jacob said. "But I mean, I'm her father, and his superior officer, and... well, I'm older and more experienced than him. A little respect, maybe a little unquestioning obedience, wouldn't be completely out of place."
"They are usually most argumentative," agreed Teal'c, blandly.
"Yeah," said Jacob, thoughtfully. "Usually."
Jacob... said Selmak, warningly - but she said it with such amusement that he wasn't fooled for a moment.
---
"Ow." Daniel scrunched his eyes up, but it didn't help. "Ow. Ow." From either side of him came groans, sounding as bad as he felt. He glanced to his right as the blinding pain in his head receded. The starched infirmary pillowcase was cool beneath his cheek. "Sam. You okay?"
"Ugh," she said, but flapped a hand to indicate that no, she wasn't going to die anytime soon. Daniel turned his head to the left, to where Jack had his hands pressed over his face.
"Damn, I hate those things," said Jack, feelingly. Memory returned slowly to Daniel. Zat fire. He'd been zatted. By Teal'c, if memory served. And before that...
Beside him, Sam sat up quickly. "Dad! Ow," she added, grabbing her head as if she was afraid it was going to fall apart. "Dammit, Dad!"
Daniel sat up more cautiously, and looked around. "Teal'c," he observed. Frowned. "Master Teal'c," he said, remembering more. Teal'c smiled placidly. There was a curse to Daniel's left.
"Teal'c! You... you... Where's Jacob?!" demanded Jack, still staying in the horizontal, but getting up to speed on the glaring front.
"Here, Colonel," came Jacob's calm, amused voice, from the doorway. There was a general movement towards him, but he held up his hands. "Hey, hey!" In one hand was a videocassette. Movement was arrested. "Just a precaution," he said, smoothly, and turned to look at Teal'c. "Lunch?"
"Indeed."
The two sauntered casually out of the room, leaving three defeated figures in their wake. Daniel, Sam and Jack exchanged glances.
"Look on the bright side," suggested Daniel. He paused, and Jack and Sam waited.
"Well?" asked Jack, eventually.
Daniel sighed, and shrugged. He could only come up with one thing. "At least they're on our side?"
E is for E's by randomfreshink
Jack heard the soft muttering and glanced over at Carter and Daniel, his irritation notching up two more levels. He had a clock going in the back of his mind, and every step told him 'too damn long, too damn far.' Three clicks to the gate--twenty to thirty minutes at a hustle. Longer with Teal'c staggering next to him--making him stagger, too. With that extra weight, with this terrain, that was about three clicks too far. With a nudge of his head, he told Daniel to pick up the pace.
He got back a frown from Daniel--a fast flash of a glance, and a grimace. The wind--dry and hot--was lifted Daniel's shaggy hair, pushing it around and into his face, and Daniel wasn't paying attention to it. He had an arm around Carter, and Carter had Daniel's boonie on her head--and Daniel's bandana, still soaked and dripping hid her eyes.
Daniel lengthened his stride, but his eyes held nothing good--regret layered over worry, and hot temper lurking behind that in bright flashes that kept sneaking out. Jack pretty much knew what Daniel was mad about--who Daniel was ticked at--but he couldn't do anything about it right now. Then Daniel glanced over at Jack again, and Jack shrugged Teal'c into a better hold, gave a nod, as if this was a walk in the park.
That didn't go over well, and Daniel turned back, and Jack caught the next set of murmurs.
"Elicitation," Daniel said, a soft lisp in a quite tone, sibilant and smooth. Sam's mouth stayed tight with pain, and Jack saw Daniel's arm tighten around her, as he poked at her with his voice. "Come on, you're not trying."
Despite everything, Jack's mouth curved. Thank god for Daniel's gift of being so damn annoying and arrogant. Daniel had just enough of both going right now that Carter's head lifted, the pain distracted off her face for a few steps.
"Fine--elliptic," she shot back, sounding better than she had in the last ten minutes.
"I get that point. Enclitic."
Sam's mouth screwed up again, and she muttered on a soft, exhausted breath, "Entropy." She stumbled over a rock after that, but Daniel had hold of her.
And Jack wanted to turn back now, blow that damn set of ruins to rubble. But he had a role to play.
"What the hell are you two talking about?"
Daniel shot him another glance, the worry darker in his eyes now, and his step hesitating, but Carter pulled Daniel along with her.
"It's a word game, sir. Comparative terms, but Daniel cheats with obscure liquist jargon."
Daniel's sputtered denial sounded almost real, and Carter's voice had almost enough amusement, along with some irritation, to cover the fear hanging onto her words.
Next to him, Jack glanced at Teal'c. They hadn't had two words from him since that damned booby trap had gone off. If Teal'c hadn't been as fast as he was, they'd be taking Carter home in a couple of parts. As it was, she'd gotten the worst of the blast in her face--shredded bits of rock had peppered her skin and they didn't known how much had gone into her eyes.
And Jack knew what Daniel was thinking--because the man had gone as silent as Teal'c.
Daniel had been the one to call Carter over, to ask her to look at something that seemed technical to him. It was. A nice bit of tech designed to go off when a Goa'uld got near. Carter had just enough naquadah in her now to set it off. Daniel had moved aside for Carter to see the thing. But at the first soft click and whir, Teal'c had slammed into Carter, tried to grab her and spin her away. He'd taken the worst of the blast on his side. But he hadn't been able to shield her from all of it. Hell, the blast took them all to the ground.
But Daniel had been the one to ask her to look.
With a fast, vicious move, Daniel kicked a rock out of the way, then asked, voice as mild as milk, "You play word games, Teal'c?"
Teal'c leaned more on this staff, less on Jack, staggered, his feet dragging. Sure, he had a symboite to help heal him, but he'd also started bleeding again. Jack could feel the blood warm and sticky under his palm.
"I do not."
The words came out certain and strong--that was for Carter.
Jack had been the first to recover from the shock of the blast. He was there in two seconds, dragging his people away from the even more ruined ruins, but Daniel was the one who'd seen the damage to Carter. He'd had his canteen out and poured it all into her eyes, did the same with his other one, and Jack had handed him two more and had told him to keep going.
Carter hadn't been in a state to complain, could only sputter, and had tried to push Daniel's hand away. Her unseeing gaze had just about had Jack ready to send Daniel packing for the gate for help.
Except now he knew this place was rigged.
Miles of ruins--most of it bombed flat, but a few building standing. If one of them was set to kill, why not more. He trusted Daniel with a lot of things, but recognizing a death trap--well, no way was he sending Daniel back alone. Which mean patching up Teal'c, and getting him up, and getting Carter's eyes covered, and now Daniel was half carrying her.
"If we're going to play the non-linguistic edition--ephemeral," Daniel said.
"Ephemeris--and it's not cheating to use the same prefix. Besides, you should lose two points for skipping ahead on second letter in the sequence."
Jack shook his head. Less than two klicks now--they were making good time, but Jack had the sweat pooling on his lower back, because he wasn't sure it was fast enough.
Daniel just keep his head down, kept striding forward. "Well, if you want to play that way--exogamy."
"Which is...?" Jack drawled, willing for once to butt into the geek fest. He was glad he did when he caught a glimpse under the bandage of a smile from Carter.
"The willingness to marry outside of one's group," she said, her hand tightening on Daniel. Jack was going to bet that was because she needed the support.
Daniel gave another frown at Jack, who just shrugged back, because what, he was going to let Daniel hog the whole distracting Carter thing.
"There are no words that begin with the letter 'e' in the Jaffa language." Teal'c said. That had both Carter and Daniel turning, just about tripping over each other.
Jack grimaced, kept his voice light as he shot back, "Exactly."
That got a groan from Daniel, another from Carter, and they were back at the gate before there was a chance out of the 'e's. Jack was yelling for medics before he'd finished dragging Teal'c out of the wormhole, but they were already there; an early call home always put Hammond on alert.
Carter was on a gurney, and thank god, Janet lifted the bandage, flashed a smile at him, before she snapped off order to get Teal'c on the other stretcher, get them all to the infirmary. That smile relaxed the knot tying up Jack's guts, and he let out a long breath, then glanced over at Daniel.
The blue eyes were dark still, and Daniel had his arms folded tight, had his head down to hide everything.
Jack slapped his hand on Daniel's shoulder. "Carter's going to be okay." He offered up a smile that could have matched Janet's, but while Daniel looked up, the tensed shoulder under Jack's grip didn't relax.
"How do you know that?" The tension and fear that hadn't been in Daniel's voice earlier was there now, raspy and raw.
Jack gave the man's shoulder a firm shake. "Daniel, sometimes you don't need words to know things." A hesitant smile started, and Jack decided he could play the distraction game, too, so he said, "Enclitic, Daniel?"
"What--it's a clitic that's attached to the end of another word."
"Oh, I'm so not touching that one. You keep that up, and people are going to think you're taking dirty to Carter."
"Elative case? Elision? Exophora?"
"Aht--save it for Carter."
"Jack, she's going--
"--to be fine, Daniel. You did good out there. But let's go hear that from Janet." And he started pushing on Daniel to get him to move, got them both to the infirmary so they could both hear it from Janet--and see that Carter already had the bandage off, already had blue eyes open and sparking again. And Jack got himself out of there before his geeks could start up with the 'f's.
W is for Worldview by shutthef_up
Until the Stargate program, Jack O’Neill’s worldview was pretty simple. There were Good Guys and Bad Guys. Sure, there were some in-between people, but their inaction or indecision tended to benefit the Bad Guys despite their best intentions. It really wasn’t until he met Teal’c that he gave much thought to the middle ground of the enslaved and deceived. It took time, experience and consistent exposure to his headstrong archaeologist for Jack to come around to a new worldview.
Samantha Carter’s worldview was based almost entirely on the laws of physics and science. It wasn’t so much that she didn’t care about the ‘human element’ as much as it simply didn’t occur to her. Science was safer. It was precise, everything explainable and fitting neatly into its space. The Stargate program changed everything. It pushed the limits of known science and she often had to struggle to fit the new realities into what she knew to be true. She was called upon to expand on known principles and often found herself arguing with brilliant but closed-minded scientists. It was frustrating, exciting and amazing all at once.
Teal’c’s worldview was larger than most Jaffa, but as First Prime to Apophis, it needed to be. He anticipated his god’s needs and moods. He’d been part bodyguard and enforcer and part butler, an occupation he learned about after he came to Earth at O’Neill’s invitation. He understood the satisfaction that was possible through service to another, but found it hard to believe that anyone would freely choose such an occupation. Earth was a strange, chaotic place. Hundreds of nations, millions of people, sometimes clashing violently, other times coming together in harmony, but it never looked to Teal’c like anything that he expected freedom be. While it was true that not all of Earth’s peoples lived in true freedom, very few of them lived in the kind of slavery the Goa’uld had demanded.
Daniel Jackson is the only one whose worldview has both expanded and shrunk. Expanded in the sense that there’s just so much more out there than he ever imagined possible. Shrunk in the sense that he suspects he used to be so open-minded that his brain was in danger of falling out. And while he still believes that talking is preferable to shooting, there are times when it’s best to let his gun do the talking. The knowledge was hard-won. Death after death, resurrection after resurrection, he’s learned that there are those who have no interest in anything he has to say. Daniel never truly realized how jaded he’d become until Vala stumbled into his life. Something about her just brings it to the fore and before he knows it, bitter words tumble from his lips. Sometimes he regrets it, sometimes he doesn’t but he remembers a time when he was a kinder, gentler person.
T is for Trouble by maychorian
Another world, another jungle. This one was even more like a real, you know, jungle jungle, instead of a temperate forest. SG-1 walked single file down a narrow trail, Jack on point, Teal’c watching their six. Carter and Daniel were doing their usual big-eyed stare-around thing, still getting used to the whole thing.
Well, to be fair, they were all still getting used to it. They’d only been on a few missions so far, and if those were any indication, the only thing they could count on for sure every time they stepped through the ‘gate was a lot of trouble and potential trauma. Which was okay for bonding a new team, Jack supposed, but they also needed to learn how to deal with each other when things weren’t going splodey all over the place. So this was good. This one was going smooth. His team could get used to each other in a slightly more casual way, and that was cool.
The natives on this planet, friendly agrarian types who took to Daniel’s brand of diplomacy right off, seemed pretty welcoming, if a little antsy about something Jack couldn’t quite put his finger on. Not open to trading right away, more wanting to get rid of them, but at least not trying to kill them. Always a good thing.
When Daniel asked if there was anything SG-1 could do for them, something to prove their friendliness and open a possibility of further relations, their chieftain-type had hesitated slightly, then nodded, and said that there was an artifact, something of great religious importance to them, in a nearby shrine that they weren’t able to retrieve since the encroaching jungle had blocked off their safe path. Because it was a “forbidden jungle.” (It showed up in Jack’s head in all capital letters-FORBIDDEN JUNGLE-intoned in the voice of James Earl Jones, or perhaps Vincent Price, and he just knew that that wasn’t go to away any time soon.) So could the visitors from another world go fetch it, pretty please?
Apparently it was only FORBIDDEN for the natives to go into the JUNGLE. Nothing wrong with sending random strangers off to do their errands. So Daniel nodded eagerly, barely glancing at Jack for permission, and that after he had already agreed to do it, but Jack guessed it was okay, this time. Definitely something they could do. If only every native population was so easy to please.
So far the FORBIDDEN JUNGLE wasn’t so bad. A little dark and a tiny bit creepy, but not dangerous or anything. Still, all of Jack’s senses were on high alert. There was usually a reason when a JUNGLE was FORBIDDEN (damn, that voice was not going away), even if the reason was weird.
And then something small and dark and awful started dropping on them from the trees.
“Holy crap!” Carter jumped at least three feet at the first touch of one of them landing in her short blond hair, flailing her gun around in a way that violated several safety protocols, and then an avalanche poured down on them all, and the apocalypse had come.
They were everywhere. And God, they had too many legs, and they were all hairy and horrible and there were way too many of them, and Jack totally froze up the way he almost never did, feeling his eyes go saucer-size in his head. There were dozens of them crawling over him, all over his team members, and he couldn’t move, he couldn’t save them, oh God oh God they were all gonna die.
After a moment the panic faded and the white leached out of Jack’s vision, though he still stood locked in place, hands tight on his gun, unable to move. Tarantulas. Lots of them, each one as big as Teal’c’s massive palm, wiggling hairy legs moving in that freaky hypnotic pattern, and oh sweet merciful baby Jesus they were doomed and they should have stayed far, far away from the FORBIDDEN JUNGLE, he should have heeded the menacing voice of Vincent Price, they were all going to die a horrible ignominious death and it was all his fault for not tackling Daniel to the ground and yelling “No no no, never, we won’t do it, we won’t go in there!” at the top of his lungs.
Captain Carter was fighting valiantly, waving her arms in the air, trying to throw them off without actually touching them with her hands, blue eyes wide and breathing quick and ragged. Well, at least she could move. Even Teal’c’s eyes were a little bigger than usual, his face frozen in a stony mask that told Jack he was terrified, and he was smashing tarantulas on the ground with the butt of his staff weapon, shoulders shivering convulsively under the hairy mass that covered them.
And his archaeologist…his archaeologist… Jack couldn’t believe it. Daniel was shaking, too, but not the same kind of shaking, he was, he was.
Trying not to laugh?
Daniel was trying not to laugh at them. Terrible hairy spiders were crawling all over him, too, and he was standing there with one hand jammed over his mouth, blue eyes sparkling behind his glasses, floppy hair wiggling around as his head shook in a supreme effort to contain his laughter.
“Care to enlighten us on what’s so freaking hilarious, Daniel?” Jack called, hearing the shakiness in his voice and not caring. They were all under attack by the minions of hell, and Daniel was laughing at them. Not cool.
Daniel choked a bit, then lowered his hand. He was grinning, broad and sweet, unable to stop. “They’re just tarantulas, you guys. Come on.”
“Yeah, that’s hysterical,” Jack said. With this little extra bit of weirdness, though, he found himself finally able to relax out of his paralysis, hands loosening around his gun, though the grip left deep red imprints in his palm. “I mean, they’re not scary at all, right?”
“Oh, come on, Jack.” Daniel stepped over to Carter, ignoring the tarantulas crawling all over him, and gently began to brush off the ones on her back, taking the time to untangle a couple from her hair. Carter stood still under his ministrations, still gasping for breath. “You were deployed overseas. Didn’t you ever walk through a jungle before?”
“I was in Iraq, you jerk.” Jack reached up one hand to grab the hairy thing clinging to his breast pocket, and couldn’t do it, fingers frozen several inches away. “The desert doesn’t have much in the way of wildlife. And yeah, I went other places, too, but I was never buried in a pile of spiders before.”
Carter nodded jerkily. “I flew over Iraq. Spent most of my time in a lab. Nothing like this.”
“I, too, have never experienced this calamity,” Teal’c intoned, still stoically smashing spiders. “And if I had, a Jaffa warrior’s armor would allow no entrance for these creatures.”
“Must have been comforting,” Daniel said calmly. He finished with Carter and moved over to Jack, picking off the spiders one by one. Jack grit his teeth, but still couldn’t help him. Dammit. “I spent several months on a dig in Brazil, deep in the jungle. It got to the point where you just didn’t notice the bugs anymore, because there are way too many of them and they are way too big. You’d spend every day in a constant panic attack if you let them bother you. So I didn’t.”
“That’s…nice for you.” Jack forced the words between unwieldy lips. He could still feel a few crawling on him, and therefore he still couldn’t move.
“Hey, relax!” Daniel grinned, wide and sunny, and patted Jack’s cheek the same way Jack had done to him on multiple occasions, manly and rough. “Do you know what would happen if a tarantula bit you?”
“No.” Just thinking about it was about to send him spiraling down into panic again.
“Nothing, Jack. It’s like getting stung by a bee, that’s all. Stings for a little, maybe burns, might cause problems if you’re allergic to their venom. The bigger they are, the less poisonous. These things are huge. No problem.”
Finally finished, Daniel stood back and started removing spiders from his own body. Jack stared, his fingers itching on his gun. Maybe he could shoot them off.
But no, Daniel had it under control. Jack looked over to the rest of his team, and saw that Carter was brushing spiders off Teal’c with the butt of her gun, carefully standing several feet away. She was almost done, and at least the big guy had no hair for them to get tangled in. Once on the ground, the tarantulas scuttled away, deep into the jungle. Never to be seen again, Jack fervently hoped. At last, they were free.
Daniel stepped back over and put a gentle hand on Jack’s shoulder. “Hey, you want to go back to the village? I can finish this mission myself, go get the artifact and bring it back. Hap’la’s directions were very clear.”
Jack swallowed, and shook his head. “No. No, we finish this together.”
“Leave no man behind, huh?” Daniel grinned and looked forward, along the path toward their final destination. “Well, how about if I take point? If we run into any more, I can deal with it.”
Oh, God. He hoped that they wouldn’t run into any more. Jack nodded tightly, and stepped back to let his archaeologist take the lead.
It’s like a bee sting, he repeated to himself over and over. The bigger they are, the less poisonous. No problem.
Repeating that mantra was the only way that he was able to get into and out of the FORBIDDEN JUNGLE. That, and knowing that Daniel could handle anything that happened.
Yeah, he had a good team. If Jack couldn’t deal with something, Carter could. And if Carter couldn’t deal with something, Teal’c could. And if none of them could deal with it, Daniel could.
It was a very comforting thought, and it was the most important thing that Jack took from this mission. It never went into any report and he didn’t tell anyone, not General Hammond, not Doc Frasier, not even Daniel, but it was true. Team bonding when things weren’t going splodey. Always the best.
O is for Oz by crazedturkey
“Maybe we should stage an intervention.”
There was a long silence in the locker room. To her right, Daniel kept filling his mission pack, his face entirely flat. Sam watched him for a full minute before she snapped.
“Don’t you think that’s a little extreme?” She asked deliberately.
Daniel turned towards her with a little grin. “Well I wasn’t entirely serious.” He paused, head to one side, “although he does talk about it an awful lot.”
Teal’c stepped in on Sam’s left and placed a heavy foot on the bench.
“Indeed,” he pronounced, the one word conveying a depth of tolerant amusement.
She looked between the two of them from her perch on the locker room bench. “So what do we do about it?” She asked. “Does it matter?”
Teal’c began to lace his boots silently. Daniel shrugged. “Well it does confuse the aliens we encounter.” He sat down next to Sam thoughtfully, his pack on his lap.
Sam snorted a laugh. “Nothing’s going to change that in a hurry.”
“We could hook him on another television show?”
“Is anything else really as apt?”
“What about Star Wars?”
“That unrealistic piece of cr....?!”
A heavy thud heralded Teal’c changing feet on the bench. Sam looked at him contritely. “Sorry, Teal’c.”
Teal’c inclined his head.
“What about that cartoon show he loves?”
Sam sighed. “You know, Daniel. I think we might just have to live with it.”
Daniel opened his mouth to reply just as the locker room door was flung wide.
Jack’s voice preceded him by several seconds. “C’mon then campers. A whole new world awaits.” He appeared in the doorway all geared up, eyes narrowed. “Carter what are you doing in the men’s locker room?”
Sam sprung to her feet guiltily. “Just talking, sir.” She pushed past him to the empty corridor beyond doing her best to avoid his incredulous gaze. “I’ll see you guys in the Gateroom.”
Five minutes later they stood, four across, watching the Gate dial. Jack stood to Sam’s right, shifting restlessly from foot to foot.
“Can you believe these guys have an actual emerald city?!” He finally burst out.
Daniel elbowed Sam in the ribs and gave her a pointed look.
The Gate connected with a whoosh, the blue puddle rippling with silver light.
Jack settled his cap on his head with a wide grin. “C’mon Dorothy, let’s go find the yellow brick road!” He said enthusiastically.
Sam looked round. “I’d better not be Dorothy,” she said deliberately.
“Oh God this is going to be a long day,” Daniel moaned.
Teal’c tightened his hands on his staff weapon and stared resolutely ahead. “Indeed.”
N is for No Way by supplyship
"No."
"C'mon, Daniel-"
"Nope."
"Seriously, just sign-"
"Nada. Nyet. Nein. Non. I know 23 different languages, so I can go on like this for awhile, and still give you the same answer."
Jack looked over at Sam for backup. She took a deep breath and tried a different tactic. "Daniel, you're her absolute favorite-"
"For some unknown reason," Jack muttered.
Sam glared at him: "Not helping, sir," she said with false brightness before turning to Daniel once more. "It would mean so much to her on her birthday."
"Gee, thanks, Sam. Guilt-trip much?" Daniel snipped. "Look, I'll sign a card or something, but not this."
"It would show great character to offer this admirer such a memento, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c intoned.
Daniel threw his arms up. "Teal'c! Not you too!"
Jack thrust a Sharpie in Daniel's face. "Just sign the damn thing already so we can get it in the mail!"
"Guys, I don't care if it *is* for sg_fignewton, I'm NOT autographing a security camera still of me in nothing but the SGC flag!!!"