Hello all!
Hi, I just joined the community! My name is Amanda and I'm 17 and a senior in high school. I'm grateful for this community because hopefully y'all won't roll your eyes at my obsessions!
Glad you clicked!
Ever since I was little, I've enjoyed the company of adults over people my age (my mother tells me I really never was a little kid), so it never really came as a suprise to me that my infatuations were older men.
My first infatuation was during my freshman year with my biology teacher. His name was Mike. At the time he was 32, and I was 14. He wasn't much taller than myself, lanky but well built (he'd run CC at his university back in Wisconsin), and cute- not handsome. Particularly striking were his eyes: they were so blue, almost cerulean. And at the risk of sounding a bit corny, they almost seemed to sparkle, especially when he wore a blue shirt and certain yellow striped tie.
For me it was extremely awkward. Looking back on it, I realize he knew I so desperately adored him, but he handled it very well. He was always very kind to me. At times it seemed he actually enjoyed my presence, and I think even at times he was flattered. But he was married, and a pretty strong Christian to boot.
Oh, but what lengths I went to see him! I ran track that year (he was the coach) and started the first ever Christian Fellowship Club at my school with him and two other students. And like any good stalker (hehe), I knew his cars, his telephone number, and his address. I even had a picture of his house, and during my sophomore year his wife tutored me in chemistry.
Sadly, he moved to Texas the end of my sophomore year- I live in PA. A mutual acquaintence keeps me updated. For instance, I just learned they had their second child, a girl.
Anyway, the moral of my first post is just something I've noticed about myself. I never enjoy real relationships because I'd much rather imagine myself happy in my infatuations. At the same time, I realize that in the slim chance something might happen, I'd immediately lose interest in that person. And while that kinda bums me out, at the same time I seem to need an infatuation to be happy.
Okay, sorry it's so long! Maybe I'll post about my current one later.
Glad you clicked!
Ever since I was little, I've enjoyed the company of adults over people my age (my mother tells me I really never was a little kid), so it never really came as a suprise to me that my infatuations were older men.
My first infatuation was during my freshman year with my biology teacher. His name was Mike. At the time he was 32, and I was 14. He wasn't much taller than myself, lanky but well built (he'd run CC at his university back in Wisconsin), and cute- not handsome. Particularly striking were his eyes: they were so blue, almost cerulean. And at the risk of sounding a bit corny, they almost seemed to sparkle, especially when he wore a blue shirt and certain yellow striped tie.
For me it was extremely awkward. Looking back on it, I realize he knew I so desperately adored him, but he handled it very well. He was always very kind to me. At times it seemed he actually enjoyed my presence, and I think even at times he was flattered. But he was married, and a pretty strong Christian to boot.
Oh, but what lengths I went to see him! I ran track that year (he was the coach) and started the first ever Christian Fellowship Club at my school with him and two other students. And like any good stalker (hehe), I knew his cars, his telephone number, and his address. I even had a picture of his house, and during my sophomore year his wife tutored me in chemistry.
Sadly, he moved to Texas the end of my sophomore year- I live in PA. A mutual acquaintence keeps me updated. For instance, I just learned they had their second child, a girl.
Anyway, the moral of my first post is just something I've noticed about myself. I never enjoy real relationships because I'd much rather imagine myself happy in my infatuations. At the same time, I realize that in the slim chance something might happen, I'd immediately lose interest in that person. And while that kinda bums me out, at the same time I seem to need an infatuation to be happy.
Okay, sorry it's so long! Maybe I'll post about my current one later.