i'm just a no class beat down fool / and i will always be that way
you know what, maybe in the end, i'm just not interested enough in the good life. or rather, maybe i'm just not cut out for it. all i know is that when i think about my future, i see beer steins instead of martini glasses, and i'm not exactly sure how i feel about that.
first of all, let's be honest: i have class issues. it comes from being a poor person surrounded by rich people. i know i shouldn't get defensive about it but it's hard not to sometimes. (see that? i'm even geting defensive about getting defensive.) and the affluent people like to think they understand, because they feel bad admitting they don't, but... they don't. my idea of poor is different from my friends' idea of poor. (and i know that my idea of poor is different still from, say, an inner city family's idea of poor.) case in point: many of them would probably object to my calling them rich or affluent. but they're upper middle class or higher, which in my opinion counts. you don't have to be donald trump to be rich.
and then, it doesn't help that i lack the social graces necessary for upward mobility. i'm more huck finn than dorian gray. which would be fine if i were hanging out with tom sawyers, but all too often i find myself in the company of lord henrys. i love my friends dearly, and i know they love me, but just imagine huck at one of lord henry's gatherings. and i fear it's only going to get worse as we get older.
or maybe it's just a lack of ambition or a lack of self-esteem? perhaps deep down i actually do want the fancy cars and elegant cocktail parties, but i'm just not admitting it because i know i'll never get it?
i wish i had charisma. i was a really, painfully awkward person for most of my life. people hated me. i think i'm a little better now... but you know that fat kid who grows up and gets fit but still, deep down, feels fat? i'm like that. no matter how many friends i make, i'm always going to kind of feel like the bumbling, lonely fool that i was at age 12.
is anna nicole the antithesis to the skinny kid who still feels fat? i mean, more power to her if she feels sexy in any body size, but i don't understand how she's advertising something called trimspa when, frankly, she's not very trim.
that was pretty bitchy. and it was a total tangent that had nothing to do with what i was talking about... i'm pretty tired now.
goodnight.
ps,
there's this new zealand folk music comedy duo called "flight of the conchord" and their song "albi the racist dragon" might be the funniest thing ever. download it here and give it a listen.
first of all, let's be honest: i have class issues. it comes from being a poor person surrounded by rich people. i know i shouldn't get defensive about it but it's hard not to sometimes. (see that? i'm even geting defensive about getting defensive.) and the affluent people like to think they understand, because they feel bad admitting they don't, but... they don't. my idea of poor is different from my friends' idea of poor. (and i know that my idea of poor is different still from, say, an inner city family's idea of poor.) case in point: many of them would probably object to my calling them rich or affluent. but they're upper middle class or higher, which in my opinion counts. you don't have to be donald trump to be rich.
and then, it doesn't help that i lack the social graces necessary for upward mobility. i'm more huck finn than dorian gray. which would be fine if i were hanging out with tom sawyers, but all too often i find myself in the company of lord henrys. i love my friends dearly, and i know they love me, but just imagine huck at one of lord henry's gatherings. and i fear it's only going to get worse as we get older.
or maybe it's just a lack of ambition or a lack of self-esteem? perhaps deep down i actually do want the fancy cars and elegant cocktail parties, but i'm just not admitting it because i know i'll never get it?
i wish i had charisma. i was a really, painfully awkward person for most of my life. people hated me. i think i'm a little better now... but you know that fat kid who grows up and gets fit but still, deep down, feels fat? i'm like that. no matter how many friends i make, i'm always going to kind of feel like the bumbling, lonely fool that i was at age 12.
is anna nicole the antithesis to the skinny kid who still feels fat? i mean, more power to her if she feels sexy in any body size, but i don't understand how she's advertising something called trimspa when, frankly, she's not very trim.
that was pretty bitchy. and it was a total tangent that had nothing to do with what i was talking about... i'm pretty tired now.
goodnight.
ps,
there's this new zealand folk music comedy duo called "flight of the conchord" and their song "albi the racist dragon" might be the funniest thing ever. download it here and give it a listen.