(no subject)
So your reading this anyway.... just be for-warned.
All my parents do is fight. It amazes me that two people that "love" eachother do nothing else but bicker about the stupidest things. I can't even comprehend half the things they fight about. Whether it's family, me, adam, family or who didn't put the milk away. I really don't understand it. I try to retreat to my basement to get away from it. but I can still hear it everynight over the sounds of my television. and it doesn't stop there. Some nights i have to turn my music up louder before I go to sleep to avoid having to listen to their perpetual argument. I guess I've been waiting for my parents to seperate since...well.... since I can remember. My dad always likes to add in comments about my "mom's boyfriend" or that he went and looked at a house. Sometimes it's just too much. To have to battle with everyday things like people, school and sports then to have to come home to it every night is just bad. I guess it's just the polar oppisite of Kristen and I. we never fight. I can't think of a time when she even hung up on me.... alright that's a lie... the one time i mentioned the D******. We just get along so well. I don't understand that when you care about a person so much that you'd insist on just ruining it instead of enjoying it.
So that brings up another point. Kristen is just much too far away. this every couple of weeks thing is just killing me. I've never really felt this torn up about much of anything before. It really means a lot that she'd come to ROC for a couple hours or drive to Ann Arbor to watch me play lacrosse or see me after the U of M game :). I feel bad for all the couples that don't appriciate the fact they get to see their significant other on a daily or hourly basis. I think of all the depressed LJ entries I read about stupid things that people take for granted.
Alyssa just asked me what I ment to her and I want to list them.... because it made me feel really good:
a l i s u h lee: dear alex.. what am i to you
a l i s u h lee: or.. describe me:-)
St Ryfe44: you are
St Ryfe44: an amazing ear to talk to
St Ryfe44: a friend I can count on
St Ryfe44: a ride when I've been drinking
St Ryfe44: a person I can just hang out with
St Ryfe44: someone that'll clean my vomit off the floor
a l i s u h lee: hahah cool ((keep going))
St Ryfe44: someone that brings me lunch and asks nothing in return
St Ryfe44: someone that always compliments me even if I look like shit
St Ryfe44: a person who likes to stroll in the park on a freezing autum day
St Ryfe44: a person I can go to when I'm stressed beyond belief
St Ryfe44: someone I can just be myself around
St Ryfe44: a person that invites me to subway after work
St Ryfe44: a person who decides to go to Saginaw with me after stepping foot on my doorstep
St Ryfe44: the girl that will pitch a tent in my front yard.... and sleep in it
St Ryfe44: the girl that would take me to prom
St Ryfe44: am I forgetting anything?
St Ryfe44: wait!
St Ryfe44: the girl that had sex in my bathroom
St Ryfe44: and the one that made my brother eat a pretzal outta her top
St Ryfe44: and a friend to get cookie dough with
St Ryfe44: and eat it all while watching Ruroni Kenshin
Ahh watching One Tree Hill has me feeling really happy about where I am in life. but college scares the crap outta me. I wish I could be closer to her... but I really don't think that's going to happen. I really just want to enjoy whats going good for me...
Anyway, I'm sorry to anyone who's bothered to read this entire thing... but I warned you. sorry for the outpour of emotion.... but i just needed some space to write.
Alex
_havn't you people ever heard of shutting the god damn door_