[OOC] Essays: Kyou and Tohru
S-So I essayed instead of actually going to bed. So sue me. (Warning: spoilers for late Fruits Basket chapters! If you haven't read at least to volume 21, best not to click.)
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Ah, Tohru. The way Kyou feels about Tohru is easy to express. Simply put, he loves her. As much as he might protest, there's nothing he wouldn't do if it would make her smile. She's more precious to him than almost anyone in the world, and he treasures the time they spend together. He doesn't know for sure when it began, but he's known he feels this way for a long time.
But Kyou refuses, steadfastly, to make any real overtures of affection toward her. Why is that? Just as simple. He's the Cat. If he'd been born with any other curse, things might be different. But even beyond the rest of the Zodiac, Kyou is cursed. In volume 11, Akito says, "You think you have the right to fall in love?! You think you'd be allowed such a thing?!" Once graduation comes, he'll be locked away in that tiny room, just like the Cat before him. Anything he and Tohru might have would have to end there. Really, it would be best not to even begin.
And the Cat is not just an outcast, but a monster. As much as Tohru and Kazuma have helped him, part of Kyou still believes this. After all, isn't it because of Kyou that Tohru's mother died? Well, that's the way he sees it. After taking Tohru's most precious person from her... how could he possibly hope to be anything to her? How could he be so arrogant as to think she could forgive that much?
Just the fact that Tohru accepts him -- is willing to be his friend despite knowing about his curse and his true form -- this alone is far more than he ever deserved. It would be incredible hubris to ask for anything more. And again, the Cat is a monster. He killed his own mother, killed Tohru's mother. It would only be a matter of time before he screwed up again and something happened to Tohru herself.
And so Kyou tells himself that he's content with things as they are, and pretends that he's happy just to be Tohru's friend until graduation comes.
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That's my interpretation, anyway. (If you have any thoughts, please feel free to comment!) How will camp affect it? Well, quite probably a lot -- but we'll just have to wait to find out.
Next up: Kyou's feelings about Yuki.
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Ah, Tohru. The way Kyou feels about Tohru is easy to express. Simply put, he loves her. As much as he might protest, there's nothing he wouldn't do if it would make her smile. She's more precious to him than almost anyone in the world, and he treasures the time they spend together. He doesn't know for sure when it began, but he's known he feels this way for a long time.
But Kyou refuses, steadfastly, to make any real overtures of affection toward her. Why is that? Just as simple. He's the Cat. If he'd been born with any other curse, things might be different. But even beyond the rest of the Zodiac, Kyou is cursed. In volume 11, Akito says, "You think you have the right to fall in love?! You think you'd be allowed such a thing?!" Once graduation comes, he'll be locked away in that tiny room, just like the Cat before him. Anything he and Tohru might have would have to end there. Really, it would be best not to even begin.
And the Cat is not just an outcast, but a monster. As much as Tohru and Kazuma have helped him, part of Kyou still believes this. After all, isn't it because of Kyou that Tohru's mother died? Well, that's the way he sees it. After taking Tohru's most precious person from her... how could he possibly hope to be anything to her? How could he be so arrogant as to think she could forgive that much?
Just the fact that Tohru accepts him -- is willing to be his friend despite knowing about his curse and his true form -- this alone is far more than he ever deserved. It would be incredible hubris to ask for anything more. And again, the Cat is a monster. He killed his own mother, killed Tohru's mother. It would only be a matter of time before he screwed up again and something happened to Tohru herself.
And so Kyou tells himself that he's content with things as they are, and pretends that he's happy just to be Tohru's friend until graduation comes.
------
That's my interpretation, anyway. (If you have any thoughts, please feel free to comment!) How will camp affect it? Well, quite probably a lot -- but we'll just have to wait to find out.
Next up: Kyou's feelings about Yuki.